A stranger corrected my form at the gym

[veroch]

He was clearly a pro (seriously.. had the bod of Hercules) and we didn't speak the same language, but he came over and showed me the proper way to move my arms during a lift. I super appreciated the help and he was very excited that I was receptive and started using the proper form - and I could definitely feel the difference in my muscles. I am giddy that I finally experienced the stereotype that "gym bros" are super helpful!! I'm also very thankful he didn't judge me for only lifting 10 lb dumbbells. Even us twigs gotta start somewhere.

 

[dawn16]

@veroch Way to be teachable my man!

 

[jewsusmckwanzaadon]

@veroch I recall reading somewhere that most pro body builders do not look down upon beginners or fat people, they were there once and know that everyone is trying to make themselves better. It is only the dumb asses that look down at you for lifting a 10lb dumbbell.

 

[beautifulchristianone]

@jewsusmckwanzaadon I’m no pro but have made considerable progress.

I see this one girl in my small apartment gym everyday. She’s a big girl but she’s in there absolutely killing it.

I’m a shy person so I never say anything like “good shit, keep killing it.” I may tho.

 

[azekual]

@beautifulchristianone Don't

 

[hypnus9]

@azekual Why not?

 

[elzappozah]

@hypnus9 I’ve seen posts about people being upset when someone tells them “good job” or something during a work out. Personally as a fat person that just started going to the gym again, I love compliments. I was pushing my kid in his stroller up a hill last month and someone said “you’re a rockstar” to me and I swear it fueled the rest of my walk. But some people don’t like it.

 

[iacobusjames]

@hypnus9 Just to add onto this, I've had quite alot of people (over the course of 10 years) compliment me/comment on my technique/weight used/clothes at the gym, and I hate it, I never know what to say and it makes me feel flustered and like people are watching me.

I know not everyone is the same, but I have a resting 'fuck off don't talk to me face'.

So if you are going to compliment someone, check their body language first, if theyre looking around like a meerkat between sets or making eye contact, you're probably fine.

If they are examining the texture of the flooring or intently staring at the mirrors wondering when they were last cleaned, give em a miss. Maybe throw a friendly smile in their direction.

 

[beautifulchristianone]

@azekual I am curious why I shouldn’t as well.

Is it something you would take offense to if you were in her position?

 

[skj]

@beautifulchristianone I'm just taking a wild guess here, but I like to feel invisible when I'm in the gym (also a newbie) so maybe they're getting at something related to that?

 

[beautifulchristianone]

@skj Certainly understandable.

 

[azekual]

@skj Exactly this!

 

[hypnus9]

@skj Oh yeah I can get that! But if someone would give you a genuine compliment like 'great work!'. Would that be more negative for U because u are now not more invisible or would that still be a bit positive and motivating?

 

[skj]

@hypnus9 Probably a bit of both. I think I'd feel good about it in the moment but I'd be anxious any time I saw you after because I know you're paying attention.

Maybe similar to this: I've got a friend that recently started working at the grocery store I shop at. I'm always happy to see him but I also always hope he's not working when I go in, y'know? I just want to do my thing and go home.

 

[tinar]

@skj You can wait till after.

 

[skj]

@tinar Every time they see you there, they'll know you're watching them. They don't need your encouragement.

 

[intelligently]

@skj Also if she really is a little overweight.. there's a pretty decent chance that other people have been "fake" supporting her. Like saying something like that and then making fun of her in the locker room. Etc
And personally sort of terrified to go to a gym because of the number of times but that's happened when I did.

 

[dawn16]

@beautifulchristianone Honestly, I think that despite the good intent, it may come across as condescending or inherently (unintentionally) fatphobic. People don’t often see thin or” in shape “ people and comment on them in the same way. Not to say it’s impossible but I think for the purpose of not hurting someone—just play it by ear and try to gauge the personality. Honestly, a “you are killing it” is harmless though x

 

[tinar]

@beautifulchristianone The redditor who told you dont is called aggravatingplum#### so who cares.

If you feel to have a conversation do so.

sometimes it is helpful during exercises, or after.

Sometimes it is just being a friendly one, talking after or having a drink (tea coffee sparkling water) as an excuse to sit and spend time.

I think that you will get the gist. Maybe want to go for a cool-down walk after?

 

[emerywealth]

@beautifulchristianone Definitely okay to say "Hey, I've seen you in here a few times absolutely killing it. It's kickass" and not just "good shit, keep killing it" I think apartment gym deserves a bit more context and effort