I have no idea how to keep going

[flameinthesnow]

I (30 F) want to be healthier, I have an office job and I'm sitting for at least 8 hours a day. I have noticed that I have become so tired after my day job, and I physically can't do anything after work. I don't think it's normal, and I always say I want to workout, but I have no self accountability. I pay for a semi-private trainer 2X a week but I go only once if that. My alarm goes off at 5 am and I can't get up, and it's not because I haven't slept or I am still sleepy, but because I literally talk myself out of it. I don't know why i do it, because it's a sort of self-sabotage, and whenever I don't go to the gym I don't feel good about it, and I don't even go back to sleep I just feel shitty afterwards. However, I must not feel shitty enough because I keep doing this every single week. It's like I get some form anxiety over me, and I just let it take over me. I am so tired of this, I am at my heaviest ever, and I don't even feel like myself anymore. I really need help, what can I do?

 

[mrsz]

@flameinthesnow I’d say find something you actually like to do. The gym isn’t for everyone. I got really really into hiking over Covid, and I wanted to go farther and be stronger to do harder trails. THAT gave me incentive to go to the gym or do a workout at home.

So find that thing you like doing that’s an activity. Be it hiking, soccer, batminton, rugby whatever. Just find something that makes your body move and do that. Forcing yourself to do something you don’t like isn’t going to work.
And I’m just like you, I refuse to get up so early and I’d rather just go straight home than the gym. So instead I do home workouts to build strength and hike when I can.

I recently started going to the gym cause I’m interested in powerlifting and getting even stronger for hiking.

Hope you find your thing!

 

[flameinthesnow]

@mrsz I think so too, I just haven't found it. Thanks for the advice!

 

[dawn16]

@flameinthesnow Me too. I have to commit to going in the Morning or go straight to the gym right after work

 

[flameinthesnow]

@dawn16 That’s my issue. I don’t get up in the morning, and after work i am too tired/lazy to go.