Scared to start exercising/tactics to start exercising

T

theknightlight

New member
Hi, I (F16) want to start exercising, and I will start to go to the gym in the summer, but I'm really scared. I'm scared because ever since I was in elementary school, I've been really bad at things like running and I have really poor stamina so it was always embarrassing to do anything physical (I was the kid who was always picked last and always got last: i.e. the time my P.E. teacher left before I finished the mile because even though I was trying to run the whole time, I was so slow it took me 15 minutes) and when I exercise it just makes me feel plain tired and gross. I'm scared to try because I always give up on even really small goals if it's not going my way, but I feel like I really need the exercise to be healthy. Like now I get winded really easily, and any time I try to run I almost immediately get a stomach cramp and have to stop, and when I do things where I have to bend my knees, they start aching and hurting really quickly. I know I need to do it for my health but I'm scared I'll just give up.

Would something easy to start (in the summer because I'm too busy with school to go to the gym and I can't drive by myself) be:

- Walking my dog everyday to get walking in

- Playing just dance because it's fun and also good exercise

- going to the gym with mom when she goes and learning how to use the machines and stuff

- eating less processed foods (when I can start to learn what's good to eat and how to cook when I have time in the summer)

Would some more fun activities like playing just dance help ease my body into exercise more while not giving it a bad association? I just am curious if it is good to try and start exercising like this. Thanks
 
@theknightlight My dad used to take me running as a kid, and i always hated it. To the point that i used to fake trip and scrape my knee to get out of it. I can totally relate to that fear of giving up.

My tip gwould be to be adaptive about your day to day goals.
If you set out to run for 20 min but feel terrible after 10, give up and walk for 20 more instead.
If you have energy left in the last stretch of the lap, do a sprint.

My greatest personal running achievements have been on days i set out to do an easy set. Often times it was just after i had given up on an easy run.

Your energy will come and go, the fact that you are out training at all is the biggest step.
 
@theknightlight I'm an exercise physiologist. Think of exercise is something you GET to do not some thing you have to do. This is a privilege for your body. Whatever you decide to do make it something you enjoy doing - that way you will do it long term. If you don't like running, do not run. You don't have to run to be fit. Walking is good enough.

Start with something easy that you enjoy doing. If you can make a game out of it like dancing for instance, then do that. Your body does not know the difference between walking running dancing and riding a bike. You're working the muscles differently but your heart and muscles are getting stronger no matter what you do.

Most people in the United States do not exercise regularly. They do not even meet the minimum exercise goals. One reason for this is everybody wants to be an expert and give you some secret way to get Fit. They are wrong. It's really about getting moving and not about doing anything specifically.

If you're going to the gym with your mom to use the machines, you only need to do one set of an exercise and use a light resistance that you can lift for about 15 times. That's it. When you're done with that one set on that machine moved to the next machine. And then the next machine. Do one set per machine for the big muscles of your body. For example try this:

1 set leg press

1 set chest press

1 set lat pull down

1 set shoulder press

You could stop right there if you wanted to. You just worked almost every muscle in your body with those four exercises. I want to stress NOT to do more than one set per machine at first. The more sets you do the more sore you will be tomorrow. We want to avoid that. We do not want you to think that exercise has to hurt. It does not. It will take your body at least 3 months to "learn" how to do the exercises. You cant speed this up. This is another reason why you do not need to perform more than one set.

Your body will respond very well to even a little bit of exercise. Since you're only 16 years old this is a great time to begin to exercise regularly. Look at exercise is something you're doing for your future self. Your muscles will get stronger your bones will get stronger your heart will get stronger - all of this will benefit you 50 years from now.

Don't compare yourself to anyone else in the gym. Run your own race. Be you!

I hope this helps some and that you have wonderful active life!
 
@theknightlight Hypertrophy/Muscle growth is my field so I can only give tips on that.

It is okay to be scared, go to the gym start with some machines, learn to use a good range of motion for 1-2 sets per exercise. Slowly start ramping up the intensity of those sets (how close you are to failure) and eventually get to the point where you either fail or manage to complete the last rep.

You will adapt to that, not quickly but you have 5-10 years since you are young. This would be a good foundation to your health and fitness on the long run.

If you would like more guidance just let me know, right now this is all I can give based on the premise and context of the post
 
@theknightlight Every human body adapts to what you put it through. If you were "bad at things" in the past it just means you didn't do them before. If you start doing it, you'll become good at it just like everybody else. You're not defective in any way. Find confidence in yourself. Show your past self that you're capable and make your future self proud. If you start going now, you'll have the best looking, healthiest body in a couple of years and you'll find yourself having tears of joy, thanking yourself that you started when you did.

Good luck and have fun!
 
@theknightlight I think dancing is a great way to exercise! It helps beat the monotony of running or biking. You can find zumba videos on youtube to do at home or you can join a class. The most important thing is to do what feels comfortable (ie don't hurt yourself) and just keep moving your body even if you get lost.

You can also watch videos on yt about how to use common weight machines if you're too self conscious to figure it out at a gym :)

Also go easy on yourself. A lot of people you see in gyms and stuff have been going for a long time to get where they're at. Everyone's gotta start somewhere.
 
@vl32 OP, I second dancing if it's something you like doing. I'm always amazed at how many cardio points I get on my fitness watch after an impromptu living room dance party.
 
@theknightlight I was just like you at your age. Then in my 20s I started regularly walking this 3 mile loop, at a leisurely pace. It was a totally flat loop with no hills. Initially, I couldn't make it the whole 3 miles, but over time I could. I walked that loop for a good year, about 5x's a week. I got faster. Then one day, I tried a slow jog from one telephone pole to the next. Then walked again until I caught my breath. Repeat another short slow jog. Walk again. And so on.

Eventually I was able to slowly, comfortably jog the whole 3 miles! Flash forward a few years later, I ran a half marathon. Very slowly-- I was the last one over the finish line! -- but I did it.

Dance is also excellent. Back then, I also liked doing step aerobics, which is kind of like dance. I liked the group aspect and the music.

How about biking? Is your neighborhood conducive to biking?

What about swimming? It's easy on the knees.
 
@theknightlight Hi there! 23 year old who also sucked at the mile and was chosen last every damn time in gym class. Never did a sport through high school. I was a show choir kid. Now at 23 I enjoy lifting heavy weights and running miles. Never would’ve expected this path for myself, ever. I can’t describe how shocked my 17 year old self would be looking at my lifestyle today.

Start slow. Manage your expectations, keep them low. Do it just for the sake of doing it. Explore however you please. Give yourself time to enjoy it, it doesn’t come naturally. Best of luck to you my friend.
 
@theknightlight They don’t teach properly how to start in schools. Honestly, try the Nike Running Club app. It’s so amazing and The starter runs are so great at teaching you how to warm up at your pace. Start slow and listen to the coaches guidance throughout, you’re capable of more than you think!

Walking your dog is a great idea.

Have you considered trying a martial art? I do jiujitsu and it’s really great and awesome for women to know self-defense. If you can afford it I would look into it, and even if you can’t afford it but are interested, ask the dojo if you can clean the floors or something for a discount.

Doing little calisthenics during commercial breaks (like jumping rope, jumping jacks, push ups, squats, etc. Just choose one for each commercial break. Or use a deck of cards and pull a card where black is squats and red is push-ups).

I think you’re really strong and brave for wanting to address this early in life. Learning to enjoy physical fitness will teach you perseverance and grit (which are both skills you CAN learn!)

Remember that almost everything can be modified. It is perfectly okay to do wall push-ups, countertop push-ups etc as you work towards the full ones (which are a hard thing to do for most people!)

Lifting weights is amazing for longevity. I’m happy to send you a beginner program if you’d like. Whatever you do, remember the first few months should be 10-15 reps. You want to strengthen ligaments and tendons before you go “heavy.” Close a weight you can do with proper form that makes it hard to get to 10 reps, like you’re really fighting for that 9th and 10th. Then, once you can do 15 reps of that weight you’d go up to the next weight.

Try to just find ways to get extra steps in. Like park farther away, do a lap around the grocery store before you start shopping, instead of waiting in the car for your mom to handle errands or whatever just walk around while you wait.

Signed, a personal trainer that used to be just like you when she was 16.
 
@theknightlight Walking is a great way to move more! Do you have a friend who could go with you to workout?

Remember that 1% better today has a huge cumulative effect. Start small, start doable. Gain some small victories and build on that.
 
@theknightlight Your self reflection and goals are extremely impressive to me! I'm so sorry you had such a shorty PE teacher.

If you feel comfortable, feel free to DM me. I would love to send you something to get a pair of good/new shoes or workout clothes as you start adding more movement in your life!
 
@theknightlight I’m impressed by your self-reflection and really smart plan to set yourself up for a lifetime of fitness. Focusing on doing things that you actually enjoy is how you make fitness a lifelong habit. Really, really good on you. These are all excellent ways to get in more activity. If you listen to podcasts, you might want to listen to Train Happy with Tally Rye: her approach to fitness is all about moving in ways that bring you joy and giving yourself unconditional permission to rest (both during a workout but also if you don’t feel up to a planned workout). Everyone gives up sometimes. Or things get busy. Or we are in a phase of life where exercise is a lower priority. It’s ok if your exercise habits are irregular — the goal is always progress, not perfection.

As someone who used to run a 16 minute mile and get that stitch in my side, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. It’s where you are and if you want to improve your running there are programs like Couch to 5K you can try. But running is not required for fitness. I consider myself quite fit for a 40 year old and I tried being a runner for a long time, but I kind of hated it so I don’t do it anymore. I do the stuff I really enjoy: yoga, weightlifting, cycling. It sounds like you enjoy dancing so that can absolutely be your main form of movement.

Also while I love the gym, I will say that I can understand why it could feel intimidating. Go slow, start out doing way less than you think you can in the moment because you’d be surprised what your body will tell you a day or two later through soreness. And doing body weight exercises can be a great option!

Finally, learning to cook is an incredible investment for the future, regardless of fitness. You’re gonna have to cook at least a meal a day for like 60+ years (probably a minimum of 22,000 meals). The earlier you can learn the basics like knife skills, how to multitask in the kitchen, how to transform leftovers, etc. the better position you’ll be in long-term. You’ll save money and maybe even come to enjoy it as well.
 
@theknightlight Your comment about your PE teacher made me so sad for you. What a mean and shaming thing to do.

I think just dance would be great and also, literally just dancing in your room. Also walking the dog. And try some strength exercises — gentle squats, wall push ups, etc. Building muscle will help with blood flow and hence stamina.

Lastly, if your stamina has always been on the low end, have you spoken to a doctor about it to rule out any physiological issues?
 
@theknightlight Wow, thought I’d chime in since my exercise journey I started at the beginning of this year actually began with just dance! I was pretty out of shape and had to take it slow but it was fun at the beginning regardless. It made exercising fun and less intimidating. Now I usually play about twice a week and do other workouts. I really recommend just dance, it’s a great and entertaining way to exercise/introduce yourself to exercise.

Plus the world dance floor can be pretty addictive especially if you’re competitive. And just dance can absolutely ease your body into exercise, it did for me!! Good luck!
 
@theknightlight Those are all great ideas. I have three suggestions:
  1. Don't immediately leap into doing lots of intense physical activity if your knees already twinge, they'll take 2-3 weeks to catch up to the idea, so ramp it up gradually. Keep it casual initially :)
  2. It really helps to just casually move more during the day, so it's not formal "exercise" where you've put on special clothes, you're just e g. choosing to go upstairs to the bathroom rather than use the downstairs one, choosing to practice balancing on one leg while you brush your teeth, choosing to dance to a song while you wait for the microwave, that sort of thing. Find some moment-to-moment enjoyment in moving your body.
  3. It's ok to half-ass things, you don't need to put max effort into every exercise session, or indeed into any exercise session. You don't need DOMs. Far better to pootle along with something fun and sustainable rather than force yourself into something you hate.
 
@theknightlight Your ideas are fantastic - exactly the things to get moving in a fun way. Plus your dog will love it. And trying to eat fewer processed foods is great for everyone! Don't get hung up on it - start with easy stuff. For example, if you drink soda, try the little 8oz cans. After you're used to that, try to limit to one a day. Then one every other day. A lot of little changes add up and please do not for a minute worry about PE class in school - I'm decades out of school and everything I do for my health and happiness is unrelated to gym class in school. I don't run. I don't play volleyball, basketball, or any kind of ball. Find what you like.
 
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