Advice as a 24 y/o lifelong dieter

[falconeye]

Hello!!!

Found this sub and I feel like it’s exactly what I needed (I’m 5’1 and no less than 200lbs).

I’ve hated my body for as long as I can remember. Learned behavior from my mom I found my my fitness pal acc with a picture of me at no older than 14. This has come with an array of eating problems.

I’m going on a cruise in july and disney in january. I really want to put in the work but I’m a teacher and chronically exhausted (weight probably doesn’t help ikik). I really want to try and push myself but counting calories scares me. I haven’t stepped on a scale in months and before that, years. Both me and my husband hate cooking so we’re always eating fast food. Not to mention I’ve been gaining weight since I met him

I have all these excuses and I need something to keep me from using them. I want to loose weight but there’s a mental block.

Any advice? Suggestions? Pls help :

 

[mj_1969]

@falconeye I might be going against the grain here, but you don't have to count calories. I'll say 1) find an activity you like and consistently do it and 2) focus on getting protein at every single meal.

Hate cooking? Me too. Pop into the store and buy some pre-cooked chicken breasts in the deli, buy some microwavable veggies, get some pre-cooked rice. Portion and pop into meal prep containers with a sauce you like. You can 'meal prep' for a week in less than 15 minutes. That's obviously the simplest and cheapest meal prep; you can definitely get creative with it.

(Pre cooked meats are absolutely goated, I could spend so much time perusing the store for them. I went to the store yesterday and found premade carnitas for super cheap because they were set to expire in a few days. I bought a bunch and shoved them in my freezer lol)

I think folks try to bite off more than they can chew at first, so look at the bigger things in your lifestyle that can easily be tweaked. Calorie counting can come later, or not at all. It's up to you. Remember that this is more than just a goal date. If you want it to stick and you want it to work, lifestyle shifts have to be made.

 

[dann222]

@mj_1969 Veggies too. It’s a great strategy to try and eat 3/4 whole veggies and fruits for every meal. When I did that, I didn’t have to count calories.

 

[ayrus87]

@dann222 Agreed with the above notes. Ultimately counting calories comes down to portion control, so if you have a well-balanced plate with plenty of fibrous carbs, proteins and some fats, then counting calories isn’t necessary. Aside from diet and exercise, be sure to drink plenty of water and get adequate sleep.

 

[macbosch]

@falconeye Hi! I understand the frustration of having a complicated history with food & your body image, wanting to make positive changes, but feeling stuck or anxious about triggering bad behaviors and mindset. I've got a similar history, and my wedding in the fall. It's been a few months on this journey and i can tell you this community has helped me so that I have not felt compelled to either give up or go too hard. It's a two part truth: throw away your "goal date" of the cruise. It would be nice to look & feel a certain way by that time, but having an end date can put too much pressure on changes OR make you feel like "well I can throw away this week's progress because I still have 38 weeks to lose Xlbs anyway". When you start treating your body well with fitness goals in mind, it really is a journey/life style change not a diet. For me it has not become "how can I make my body smaller or eat less" but "how can I make myself feel stronger in my workouts", and "how can I make sure I am getting enough protein/fiber/nutrients in a satisfying way"? The problems you are solving are how to make yourself feel good EVERY DAY. Not just "by that day". Every step matters (step count joke lol)! Walking around your school hallways on a break, stretching at your desk. Trying out a morning workout or an after school one, and seeing which feels better. Maybe making different and healthier take-out choices at first, and then planning easy recipes when you're motivated. Don't jump right into calorie tracking if that'll be hurtful, but start by tracking your protein in grams. What happens when you have more? Do you feel more full? Less likely to snack on sweets? Listen to your body with every change you make and when it feels good, lean into that! Do your best to speak to yourself in body-neutral terms right now. Do not step onto the scale until you feel it will serve you & your progress instead of halting it. You are doing this for you. Not for a cruise, not for your partner or mom's approval. It's because you deserve a healthy relationship with your body, to feel good when you wake up in the morning and satisfied when you go to sleep. To find a love for growing muscle or just a love of movement in general! This is getting a little motivational-speakery but your post really resonated with me. I think you should be proud that you're taking this step, try to leave your judgement of weight/size behind, and enjoy the positive energy that will come with making change for the right reasons. Best of luck!

 

[dimples3130]

@falconeye Losing the weight (and keeping it off) is going to require a permanent lifestyle change because you can go on an extreme diet and lose a lot of it fairly quickly but if you get to your goal weight and go right back to eating how you did before you’ll just gain it all back eventually

That being said, slow and steady wins the race! I was addicted to fast food and before I started really dieting I would make smaller healthier choices. I’d get the grilled chicken sandwich instead of fried, then I’d get the grilled sandwich but leave the cheese off, then I’d get the smaller fry instead of big, and then eventually I stopped getting the fries altogether and just the sandwich. The difference in calories from my first order (spicy deluxe chick fil a sandwich w/ pepper back cheese & large fry) to my order before I dropped the fries (grilled chick fil a sandwich w/ no cheese medium fry) was 300 calories. Making those same small but healthier choices throughout your day will shave a lot of calories off without much effort. I also switched to Coke Zero or sparkling lime water, as soda is just so freaking tasty but so calorie dense.

From there I just kept making “better” choices (drinking was a big calorie consumer for me so I’d get a tequila soda instead of big beer etc) until I was ready to dive into the deep end and get strict about the calories.

With the small changes I lost about a lb a month without changing much. When I got serious on Jan 1st I lost around 5lbs a month (at a 500 calorie deficit). I would say a 500 cal deficit was an extreme diet because I had to get really creative to get enough volume of food and enough nutrition from it. But just making smaller changes while you dip your toes in the water will have you seeing some quick changes at your weight.

Whether you start trying to lose weight or you don’t, the time will still pass

 

[carl1013]

@falconeye Hi there, 29, 5’0 and also over 200lbs. Same things as you. Learned behavior from family, hate my body, literally all of that. However; I am focusing on what I can add in, and not cut out. I love food so I had to find something sustainable that I can do forever. So counting calories has helped because I can budget for foods I love and also make adjustments to have healthier options around. I also make sure I exercise by doing activities I like and that I know I can do long term. Small changes over time make a big difference. You can do it. I haven’t really lost much yet but in general I just feel a lot better. Get your husband on board with you or it will be pretty tough. That’s just my opinion though.

 

[ondistantshores]

@falconeye I'm so sorry you're in this position! I was in the same boat- so much so that by my late 20s, I couldn't open up MFP without feeling anxiety/guilt about needing to do it perfectly. I knew that wasn't right, so I changed my mindset. I spent about 6 months being kind to myself. I didn't guilt myself over what I wasn't doing. Instead I focused on what I could add to my life. Month 1 was just drinking more water, month 2 was was adding joyful movement, month 3 was adding protein to meals, month 4 was re-learning my fullness cues, etc etc. These are actual skills that I never learned.

Then one day I realized that when I thought about calories and my weight on the scale, I wasn't thinking about restriction or what I couldn't have, I was thinking about it as data. I kept my weight loss goal to 0.5lb/week because that was sustainable. I didn't even have a goal weight, I just went until I felt comfortable and happy (which is currently 120-125 at 5'0").

There is no "right" way to lead a healthy lifestyle, and it's not all or nothing. To start, you might just focus on making one or two meals a week a non-fast food meal. There are tons of options for people who don't know how to cook - even just buying a rotisserie chicken and a salad kit would work! I ate that multiple times a week when I was working 2 jobs and wedding planning and still lost weight. You can get ideas from Instagrams of people who meal prep in a semi-home cooking fashion which is so much easier and accessible (here's an example) than making meals from scratch. Best of luck!!

 

[carl1013]

@ondistantshores I love the account referenced here, her meals are AWESOME!

 

[moma19]

@falconeye If you need to ease into cooking, maybe start with healthier fast food choices (salad from Panera instead of burger from McDonald’s, etc) and I also love Crockpot recipes because you just dump everything in and walk away! I will just go on Pinterest and type in “healthy crockpot [whatever I’m craving]” to find good recipes

 

[dawn16]

@falconeye i completely understand how you feel. just know you’re not alone! so many women have experienced that sense of alienation in our own bodies.

i have found that maintaining a healthy weight and good eating habits has a lot more to do with managing my emotional health. you mentioned that your mom sort of instilled certain beliefs about eating and your body in you at a young age. i think that’s worth exploring. is it possible for you to access some therapy or counseling? it also sounds like you’re under a lot of stress, and good stress management is important to maintaining a healthy lifestyle.

sometimes it’s hard to lose weight when we are feeling a lot of self loathing. the success lies in being able to put a little space in between your emotions regarding your body and your weight and the actual process of losing weight. if they’re too directly linked, something like this can happen: “i had too much sugar today. i’m going to stay heavy forever. screw it, might as well eat as much as i can tonight and start over tomorrow.” however if we can say instead: “im still worthy and whole and beautiful while im on this journey. i got a little off track today, but i deserve to go to bed feeling healthily full and satisfied. im learning good habits for the long run so i stay my healthy and happy self.” that is often much more healing and productive. wishing you luck and success!