Did anyone else struggle with their body image MORE as they got stronger/lost weight? How did you learn to appreciate your “new” self?

[prayhouse]

My stats don’t really matter in this context, but I’m 5’1” and have been committed to losing weight for about a year now. I’ve been taking the slow approach and am down 15 pounds in 12 months, but I FEEL good most days and feel like I’m fueling myself while also losing weight. I’m currently 130 pounds, strength train 3x a week with cardio 6x a week because I love my stationary bike. I didn’t start strength training until about 4 months ago, but have seen strength and endurance improvement. Yay!

My body image has never been worse. I see my progress and immediately think “well I thought I’d look like xyz at this stage” or look up other people’s progress pictures and really get sad at the fact that my body composition isn’t the same as theirs, even at the same weight.

I know that’s irrational, and it’s honestly my fault for having an aesthetic goal in mind, but I’m having to come to terms with the fact that my body probably won’t look like that goal, and it’s tough. I’ll never have thin legs, for example, and honestly don’t know why I ever thought I would…those guys have been chonky since I was a kid, no matter my weight.

I guess my big question here is how did you learn to appreciate your new physique and let go of “ideals” that you cannot achieve?

I’d love to look at my body and think “damn, way to work, love you,” but I’m just not there yet and am wondering how y’all got there.

 

[mrscruz]

@prayhouse You described being proud of your progress. You can feel the improvements in strength and diet. I hold onto those moments of internal satisfaction. Let that feeling suffuse through my body. Each body is unique. This is mine to care for the rest of my life. My legs will never be longer. They can be strong and with weight training shapely for me.

Comparing ourselves to others is a trap. Reminding ourselves we each own an amazing body we control and care for is the ticket to pride.

Congratulations

 

[wellsja]

@prayhouse Can’t speak for everyone else but I’m definitely not in the “always love how I look” camp. I focused a lot on building strength this last year and achieved some pretty incredible goals I set for myself (like a 1.5x deadlift and 1.25x squat!), and I do notice changes in my body that I’m happy with. Overall, I’m proud of myself, but there are definitely days where I feel puffy or can’t help but compare myself to others.

That said, I try my hardest to remove the barriers to my success. I’ve decreased time on gym social media content, I’ve only ever followed 2-3 fitness “influencers” on IG (and their content is moreso science-based and very holistic), etc etc. I also realized that if I’m focused a lot on achieving a certain aesthetic look, then I’ll just go ahead and work for them, much like I did my strength training last year. So this year, I’ll be following a hypertrophy-focused program and picking up running. If I’m working toward my goal rather than just aching for it, I feel as if I can get there eventually (since I already did it with my goals from last year).

So I guess bottom line is it’s very human to, once in a while, admit we’re succumbing to the pressures of social media when it comes to fitness, but don’t lose focus of the big picture! Keep working hard and shift your fitness plan if it’s important to you.

 

[jasonsim]

@prayhouse still trying to learn this. it’s a daily struggle but i do think therapy and focusing on your body and the scale less really helps. i think people who “struggle” with their weight have a hard time looking in the mirror and comparing themselves unfortunately :/ even people in this sub with great bodies ask for tips and in the comments we have to tell them they look great and they say they’ve never heard such great comments about their bodies!

 

[loveyhwh]

@prayhouse Yes when I was at my lowest weight my body image was at its worst. It was mostly because even though I was super skinny, I was under muscled. Most of us are under-muscled and we need to build a good foundation of muscle. Which is hard work and takes years of consistency. Secondly, I try to not compare myself to all the fitness and wellness girlies on IG. Most of whom are in the genetic top 1%. Additionally many of them have been training their entire life, or for several years at least. And many of them are pros at using lighting, filters, photoshop, etc. And that’s why most of them have such a wide audience, quite frankly, because of how they look. I also hear rumors that many of them are unhealthy and have disordered eating and no periods to keep their look going. Which if true is really sad because our culture is so focused on looks it encourages that behavior. Lastly, I think it’s more difficult when you are petite. Because the ideal body type is tall. I think it really just comes down to inner child work. What would you say to the child version of you about her body? You should be saying those things to the adult version of yourself as well. It sounds like you’re doing a great job and taking care of yourself in the process. Go easy on yourself. Keep going and you will see results but be sure to keep a healthy perspective on everything in the meantime. It can be a slippery slope on your fitness journey going down that self-loathing, body-shaming rabbit hole.

 

[dawn16]

@prayhouse I just think your expectations were unrealistic if you have been strength training for only four months.

 

[meteorstorm]

@prayhouse I mean the obvious answer is if you have been doing that much cycling. Chances are your legs are gonna be big. Cyclists have pretty big thighs.

My body image was the worse at my lowest weight. At my lowest weight I weigh around 92lbs and my upper body was super skinny and I had no butt. To make things worse because I’m Chinese, it’s common for relatives to comment on your physique and I was called a matchstick. I ended up in a cycle of losing weight and gaining until I had enough because it was hurting my health.

I stopped caring about aesthetics and focus on performance goals. And the journey has been more than fulfilling. The secondary effect was that aesthetically my physique started looking good. It was my love for fitness that drove to performance goals in which led to me having a nice and strong physique. That was the bonus. Your body is a reflection of what you do.

 

[creator123]

@prayhouse Focus on the muscles. I'm like you, I'm a pear shape, so my lower body always looks too big compared to my upper body. Even at my lowest weight, I still felt insecure about my thighs because they were disproportionately large compared to my skinny upper body, and my legs are short, which makes them look stumpy.

But after months of strength training, I started to see some definition in my arms, which I never had when I was only doing cardio. I could tell I was getting stronger too, which made me feel good. So even though my boobs were all but gone and I still didn't love my thighs, every so often I'd be like "Damn, my arms look good."

 

[conservativechristian]

@prayhouse I feel you. I've been strength training and eating healthy for almost two years, and while my physique did change, it's not what I thought. I didn't become super slim, actually more chunky because I built muscle. I had a bit of a breakdown because I've been working so damn hard, given up so much, tracking my food etc... and not seeing the results I expected. I'm doing more than anyone I know, but I don't look the way I want to yet.

Another factor is that, before I started, I didn't think about my body that much. Now I'm thinking about my workouts and diet constantly, and lowkey obsessing over progress. It's not great for my mental health to think about my appearance this much. One thing that does really boost my body image, though, is achieving fitness milestones, like running a 21k, or getting stronger. Focusing on ability instead of appearance helps.

But I'm doing a cut right now, and it's really tough not to obsess over my body. I've just accepted that it's going to be mentally difficult for a couple of months.