Help! Health journey with my spouse

[boy243]

Hi! I (34F) am 193 lbs and I’m finally ready to embark on the journey to lose weight for real. I’ll spare the emotional details, but it’s gotten to the point where I sob when looking at photographs. I’m too young to shy away from beautiful memories because of my own laziness.

I know weight loss isn’t about numbers, and I know it’s CICO, eating as few processed foods as possible, increased fruits, veggies, water intake…

But I find this process SUPER hard with having a spouse!

Long story short, my husband and I got married last year, though because I relocated to his country (on a spouse visa), we didn’t live together until this past December. We’re finally together, living our best life, eating all the food (and new food for me since I’m in the UK, born in the U.S.), and socialising. Yes I know it’s discipline, but it’s hard when both people have to be committed to the journey, on days where we’re both too exhausted to cook or work out.

So my question is, for all of you who have embarked on a health journey with your partner, how do you do it? What tips do you have to make this easier?

 

[richardpainter]

@boy243 37F here . On Jan.1, 2022 I was 194.8, so close to where you are now. Today I am 138.4. I’d personally like to keep losing a bit over the next few months as my ultimate goal is 124.8 (5’3”). But if I didn’t lose another pound I would be ok where I am now.

Here’s my tips for you / what I did:

Intermittent Fasting. It’s not as intimidating as you think. Just don’t eat breakfast and don’t eat in the evening after you have had your supper. You think you need breakfast but you don’t, and quite frankly most breakfasts if they are toast, cereal, etc are just a carbohydrate bomb so your body isn’t missing out. You’d be surprised how many calories you can take in a day “evening grazing” so commit to no snacking after supper. I eat a good size nice lunch and supper. As for low carb, don’t go too crazy. People will tell you it’s the gospel but you don’t need to get hung up on how many carbs you eat a day. Learn the difference between complex carbs and refined carbs and then learn to just choose the more complex carb or lower carb choice over the refined/simple/high carb choice and this will make a difference over time and become your default way of eating. For instance I would make myself squash or sweet potato for my supper side before I would ever have white rice, pasta, white dinner rolls, etc. Exercise - you gotta commit to it every day even after you’ve met your goal weight so you can maintain it and really so you can live a long healthy life. I commit to 10k steps a day that works for me. Buy a treadmill so it’s always there and ready for you at home. No excuses about weather stopping you getting to the gym or going for a walk if you got a treadmill at home. I’ve been setting the treadmill at an incline so I get more bang for my buck when I work out - I highly recommend that. Just start at .5 or 1% incline and slowly work your way up weekly from there so you don’t hurt yourself. Lastly I would tell you mind your portions and drink lots of water. Sometimes you think you’re hungry when you are really dehydrated. A glass of water with each meal makes you feel fuller and is good for digestion.

Oh also - cut out added sugar! I committed to drinking all my coffee and tea black and it makes a big difference. Also if you are a juice or pop drinker cut that out and replace with water. You’d be shocked how many calories people waste in a day through drinks.

Best of luck to you!!!

 

[boy243]

@richardpainter Thanks so much for your advice!! I struggle with intermittent fasting but you’re right, I typically have a crumpet, a bagel, cereal… basically all carbs. I don’t drink much else other than water and coffee, and I typically have one coffee a day. I’m a big sweets person but I have found in the past that once I cut out the sugar, the cravings subside. I’m really lucky in the fact that my gym is a five minute walk, so I have little excuse (except for when it’s torrential or really icy out).

Evening grazing… super guilty! I’ll try to take your IF advice!

 

[dawn16]

@richardpainter One of the most sound replies I’ve seen on Reddit. Excellent advice!!

 

[geordstar]

@boy243 I am a trainer and both me and my girlfriend have health and exercise science related degrees and we still have times where we aren’t 100% committed to our fitness. I think understanding that it’s really a journey helps though. The goal is really to build healthier lifestyle habits for both of you. Also, it incorporates new ways to spend time together.

For instance, try working out/walking/hiking together as this can be fun because now you’re not just by yourself but you have another person’s energy to feed off of for extra motivation. The workouts don’t even need to always be the same, just setting a time that both of you hit the gym together adds some accountability. Then at home, finding recipes to try and then taking time to cook meals together has given us a lot of great memories all while helping both of our journeys.

I think there’s nothing better than couples getting fit together because you’re more likely to stay on track when your partner is also doing it with you. Support is one thing but actually being on the same journey can make a world of difference! So try some of those activities and see what works for you all. I wish you both the best of luck on your healthy home journey! And I literally work with couples looking to improve their fitness together so if you have any other questions, send me a PM and I’d love to help you guys!

 

[shadowuser1]

@geordstar Hey is that an open DM option because I could have written this same message! Only weight would be changed and add a toddler in there.

I’m going to take your advice and chat with my hubs about goals

 

[geordstar]

@shadowuser1 Absolutely! I’m happy to help just send me a message!

 

[shadowuser1]

@geordstar Thank you!

 

[geordstar]

@shadowuser1 Of course!

 

[james2175]

@boy243 You're describing a few different mindset challenges based on assumptions you're making. I think the best way to go about this is stop making assumptions about what you'll have to do, what it will take, and how hard it might be.

Think about what you want. Then how you can make it happen. Then decide how you want to do it. If there's a way that you don't want to do it, then don't.

It really can be that simple. Guidance can help a lot. But it's about having confidence that you can do it, realistic focus on a plan, and accountability/a process for ownership.