I’m recently a first time father and, as someone who’s been far too lazy for far too long (to the tune of 230 pounds at 5’9”), I want to get healthy and be here as long as possible for my child. My question is how? I’ve recently gotten back into exercising a bit with bands and doing some cardio on the bike, but I also want to work on mobility/flexibility and, once I feel safe due to COVID, even throw in strength training at the gym. For those of you who have stayed in or gotten back into shape in your 30’s (even late 30’s like me), how do you balance all the physical fitness needs we have as we age? Prior to my decade long spiral into obesity, I worked out all the time. I did the classic weights on M/W/F and cardio/abs on T/Th. On the weekends, I’d throw in some cardio on Saturday, then usually rest on Sunday. As I get older, and given my current level of fitness, I feel like I’d need to focus more on weight loss and flexibility than what I did “in the old days.” So, for those of you who find yourselves strong, at healthy weights, and with flexibility/mobility, how do you do it (besides dieting, which I know needs to be my first priority)?
How does everyone balance all their fitness needs as you age?
- Thread starter bridgida
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@bridgida You’re over complicating things. You’re doing that because it’s impossible not to. Magazines, social media, television all tell you about how everyday you’re supposed to eat healthy, meditate, pray, do yoga, lift weights, run, do HIIT, don’t sit down, count your calories and of course, make sure you get lots of rest on top of it.
The reality is this. You need a healthy, balanced diet and you also need to crush some wings, pizza, ice cream or BBQ every once in awhile. Think “everything in moderation, including moderation”. All that being said, you lose weight by controlling what and how much goes into your mouth. Read that as many times as you need to accept it as fact.
You should strengthen your body. You should do this so you can continue doing things you enjoy as you get older, but also so say, a broken hip, isn’t catastrophic for you in your 50’s or 60’s. Also, being strong and looking fit is awesome.
You should get up and move around. 8-10k steps, go hiking, whatever. Cardio as an independent exercise isn’t mandatory. By all means, do it if you enjoy it but if you’re active during your day that’s probably enough.
You can do flexibility, mobility or stretching work if you like or it’s important to you. I would say I am in excellent shape for my age (38) and maxed my score for my last physical fitness test. I couldn’t tell you the last time I spent time stretching. But, if it’s important to you, by all means.
If I were you and those were my pursuits, I would count my macros on MyFitnessPal for 3 months or so and since mobility is import to you, try yoga. Down Dog is a great app, I think people here also like Yoga by Adrienne or something like that. Also, after dinner or whatever works for your schedule? Throw the baby in the stroller and go for a nice walk.
Above all else, be kind to yourself and absolutely refrain from beating yourself up or expecting too much. It’s about finding what you enjoy and making it a habit. Eat this elephant one bite at a time. And then enter it into MFP.
Good luck!
The reality is this. You need a healthy, balanced diet and you also need to crush some wings, pizza, ice cream or BBQ every once in awhile. Think “everything in moderation, including moderation”. All that being said, you lose weight by controlling what and how much goes into your mouth. Read that as many times as you need to accept it as fact.
You should strengthen your body. You should do this so you can continue doing things you enjoy as you get older, but also so say, a broken hip, isn’t catastrophic for you in your 50’s or 60’s. Also, being strong and looking fit is awesome.
You should get up and move around. 8-10k steps, go hiking, whatever. Cardio as an independent exercise isn’t mandatory. By all means, do it if you enjoy it but if you’re active during your day that’s probably enough.
You can do flexibility, mobility or stretching work if you like or it’s important to you. I would say I am in excellent shape for my age (38) and maxed my score for my last physical fitness test. I couldn’t tell you the last time I spent time stretching. But, if it’s important to you, by all means.
If I were you and those were my pursuits, I would count my macros on MyFitnessPal for 3 months or so and since mobility is import to you, try yoga. Down Dog is a great app, I think people here also like Yoga by Adrienne or something like that. Also, after dinner or whatever works for your schedule? Throw the baby in the stroller and go for a nice walk.
Above all else, be kind to yourself and absolutely refrain from beating yourself up or expecting too much. It’s about finding what you enjoy and making it a habit. Eat this elephant one bite at a time. And then enter it into MFP.
Good luck!
@broncofan Yes this.
I get all my cardio in WITH my kids. We go on bike rides, walks, hikes, swimming, jump on the trampoline. They are older now but I used to push them in a stroller and play tag at the park. All the kids will be following you around if you are playing
I get all my cardio in WITH my kids. We go on bike rides, walks, hikes, swimming, jump on the trampoline. They are older now but I used to push them in a stroller and play tag at the park. All the kids will be following you around if you are playing
paramedic84
New member
@bridgida IMHO the only difference now is you need to worry more abt warming up and stretching.
There was a thread on /r/askoldpeople about a year ago asking how to stay loose and fit. One of the responses that stuck with me was working the back. One of the guys said that if he doesn't do squats every single day his back starts to hurt.
I've noticed, at 40, how inflexible I am. I can barely get my thighs parallel in a squat. And I'm in shape.
But boy after a core session of squats and dl do I feel loose.
Your back is everything. Keep it loose and strong.
Fix your diet. Warm up w a jog / run. Stretch. Yoga. Lift weights. Cool down with more cardio.
There was a thread on /r/askoldpeople about a year ago asking how to stay loose and fit. One of the responses that stuck with me was working the back. One of the guys said that if he doesn't do squats every single day his back starts to hurt.
I've noticed, at 40, how inflexible I am. I can barely get my thighs parallel in a squat. And I'm in shape.
But boy after a core session of squats and dl do I feel loose.
Your back is everything. Keep it loose and strong.
Fix your diet. Warm up w a jog / run. Stretch. Yoga. Lift weights. Cool down with more cardio.
kindasortareally
New member
@paramedic84 I use ROMWOD. It's a 15min mobiility workout that uses an app that puts a different workout out everyday. It's fantastic and I do it ontop of weightlifting.
andreea2017
New member
@bridgida I was a gym rat until my early'ish 30s. Got lazy with life for several years and then realized I was obese at 47. Now, at 52 I'm in the best shape of my life and getting better and better. I lift consistently (currently doing a 4-day UL split, but will sometimes do a 3-day full body, and sometimes a 5-day bodypart split, but always as a planned routine for a set number of weeks).
At least 5 days a week I'll take a brisk walk for a minimum of 1 mile, but often 2-3+ (14:30-16 minutes per mile), put my bike on the trainer with Zwift 2 or 3 days a week, and sometimes change things up with kettlebells, jump rope, burpees, or whatever will get my HR up while keeping things interesting.
Along with diet, consistency is key. Make sure you recover with adequate sleep and nutrition, and train like you're younger.
At least 5 days a week I'll take a brisk walk for a minimum of 1 mile, but often 2-3+ (14:30-16 minutes per mile), put my bike on the trainer with Zwift 2 or 3 days a week, and sometimes change things up with kettlebells, jump rope, burpees, or whatever will get my HR up while keeping things interesting.
Along with diet, consistency is key. Make sure you recover with adequate sleep and nutrition, and train like you're younger.
@bridgida I’m in a similar boat to you though most of my weight gain was COVID. Going to go against the consensus a bit and say I think you should focus on cleaning up diet and thinking about weight loss not rushing back to the gym. You’re not competing for Mr Olympia and need bigger muscles - you need to cut 30 pounds short term and 40-50 long term. Abs are made in the kitchen as they say.
The time you spend at the gym will be great for your heart health and muscles but the fat is the problem and the few hundred calories you burn at the gym a few days a week aren’t going to move the scale much. The fat is also probably negatively impacting your joints and at least in my experience adding lots of cardio means giving yourself excuses to eat more. Also a lot of the fat I’m guessing is visceral fat which isn’t good. So getting the fat off will help later so you don’t have overburdened joints.
“Why not both diet and go to the gym 4 days a week?” Some will say. I say you don’t have the time and shouldn’t jump in the deep end only to burn out. You want to crate a sustainable lifestyle so that means a bunch of small changes over time.
Aim for 4-5 pounds a month weight loss through counting calories - like 1800-2000 a day. So 215 by New Years which is hard with winter holidays but doable. Then aim for under 200 for spring and 190 by next summer. Take a one week break every 12 weeks just to reset your set point a bit and avoid burnout (that doesn’t mean binge just give it a break every once in awhile).
How to achieve 1800-2000 calories a day? Look into something like Intermittent Fasting which is good for a busy dad - breakfast is rarely healthy anyway (muffins, sandwiches, sugar filled yogurt etc). Obviously focus on foods for lunch that are filling and will reduce snacking — no juice fasts or anything like that which isn’t sustainable and drains your energy (I made that mistake).
So what exercise should you do now? Long walks are good and easy. Also add some mobility exercises like wall slides, face pulls and glute bridges to fix posture, activate muscles and improve flexibility. Then add strength training in the new year after you’ve lost the first 15 or so pounds and have developed good habits.
The time you spend at the gym will be great for your heart health and muscles but the fat is the problem and the few hundred calories you burn at the gym a few days a week aren’t going to move the scale much. The fat is also probably negatively impacting your joints and at least in my experience adding lots of cardio means giving yourself excuses to eat more. Also a lot of the fat I’m guessing is visceral fat which isn’t good. So getting the fat off will help later so you don’t have overburdened joints.
“Why not both diet and go to the gym 4 days a week?” Some will say. I say you don’t have the time and shouldn’t jump in the deep end only to burn out. You want to crate a sustainable lifestyle so that means a bunch of small changes over time.
Aim for 4-5 pounds a month weight loss through counting calories - like 1800-2000 a day. So 215 by New Years which is hard with winter holidays but doable. Then aim for under 200 for spring and 190 by next summer. Take a one week break every 12 weeks just to reset your set point a bit and avoid burnout (that doesn’t mean binge just give it a break every once in awhile).
How to achieve 1800-2000 calories a day? Look into something like Intermittent Fasting which is good for a busy dad - breakfast is rarely healthy anyway (muffins, sandwiches, sugar filled yogurt etc). Obviously focus on foods for lunch that are filling and will reduce snacking — no juice fasts or anything like that which isn’t sustainable and drains your energy (I made that mistake).
So what exercise should you do now? Long walks are good and easy. Also add some mobility exercises like wall slides, face pulls and glute bridges to fix posture, activate muscles and improve flexibility. Then add strength training in the new year after you’ve lost the first 15 or so pounds and have developed good habits.
@bridgida First thing you have to do is make it a priority. No fucking excuses, do you want it or not?
Yes, it will take some time away from family and yes you will have to give up "relaxing" on the man chair during down time. Fuck your down time, go achieve your goals.
You like watching sports? Not unless your fat ass is watching on the treadmill. Oh not a sports guy, no drama show for you tubby unless it's on the fucking treadmill.
You want to set a good example for your children you say? Stop eating like a slob in front of them and teach them dietary habits that will help you and them live long and productive lives. You wouldn't smoke a pack of Camels in front of them would you? Put down the Doritos dipshit.
From there, it's minutia. Step 1 is change your view.
Yes, it will take some time away from family and yes you will have to give up "relaxing" on the man chair during down time. Fuck your down time, go achieve your goals.
You like watching sports? Not unless your fat ass is watching on the treadmill. Oh not a sports guy, no drama show for you tubby unless it's on the fucking treadmill.
You want to set a good example for your children you say? Stop eating like a slob in front of them and teach them dietary habits that will help you and them live long and productive lives. You wouldn't smoke a pack of Camels in front of them would you? Put down the Doritos dipshit.
From there, it's minutia. Step 1 is change your view.
erbush1988
New member
@bridgida At 230 here is the breakdown and sorry for the bluntness. Diet (clean eating) is number one by far. After that you probably have limited time now because you are being a good dad. The bad news is you most likely have to choose between jogging and swimming to get your calorie deficit where you need it. I love to bike, but it takes twice the time to burn the same calories. Once you drop 30 pounds with a change in diet and 30- 45 minutes every other day of jogging you can cut back on the cardio and add in the strength training. Everyone wants to start with weight training because most people like myself hate jogging and weight lifting is more fun. As you age you can't lift your way to healthy. If you have time for an hour class you can do boxing or Muay Thai instead of jogging, but not everyone wants or can spend the money. That's what has worked for me (46) 5'9 175 was 200.
@erbush1988 The bluntness is very much appreciated. Definitely need to get the diet in check, no doubt. I don’t mind focusing on cutting and doing mostly cardio for a little while. I’ve been told I “have a good base,” so even without regular weight training, once I drop some pounds, I’ll look and feel a bit more muscular, regardless. Several people have mentioned using a kettle bell, so what I’m leaning toward is diet, lots of cardio, 10 minutes of stretching at night, then, 1-2x a week, do some kettlebell work just for a little extra blast to the heart rate. I used to be 5’9” 160-170, so you’re right where I want to be. Thanks for the advice.
erbush1988
New member
@quos I’m fully aware I can get back into shape at my age. My question is more about the balance of everything. I feel like 39 year old me needs a good balance of cardio, strength, and mobility/flexibility, and I’m just not sure how to fit all three into a schedule (which days get which focus and for how long? Things like that).
@bridgida Lift 3 times per week following an established full body beginner programme. Happy to help you choose one.
Do some low intensity cardio 2-3 times per week. Rowing, swimming, hiking, whatever.
Stretch if you feel you must, but you should be getting a good stretch from squats, pulls ups etc
Do some low intensity cardio 2-3 times per week. Rowing, swimming, hiking, whatever.
Stretch if you feel you must, but you should be getting a good stretch from squats, pulls ups etc
harmonytx1
New member
@bridgida I’m 45m with 4 children. 25,13,7,5. I get up at 7am to Drop the kids off school. Hit the gym. Or go walking for atleast 30minutes. until 10am work. If I can’t make it in the morning I’ll go after work. Get home around 9:30. Drink a protein shake and Go over my kids homework. Be in bed by midnight. Rinse and repeat. It’s not easy I’ve been doing this on and off forever usually before a big bday year. Like I’m gonna do this before I hit 35. Or this is it I’m gonna be 40 next year etc etc. . But ive been very consistent since the shutdown.
@bridgida Make time. People assume both parents need to be with the baby every minute of every day. You don’t. Make time for you. Make time for your partner to have her own things too.
As for balance, your goals should tell you what you need to prioritise.
Make some goals. Make time to achieve them.
As for balance, your goals should tell you what you need to prioritise.
Make some goals. Make time to achieve them.
renatusfueritexaqua
New member
@bridgida Prioritize strength training, basic GPP stuff you don't have to kill yourself. As time allows include cardio and mobility. As you age, strength and muscle mass are what anchor every other trait - they're the hardest to build or reclaim.
Weight loss is largely a passive activity - plan your meals.
Weight loss is largely a passive activity - plan your meals.