I will never build my dream body - how to cope [help]

[kuroba]

I know it's a privilege I'm even complaining about it... but I always dreamt of being and staying fit after 30-40-50 etc. and fixing my booty saginess which affects my confidence A LOT.

I'm a person with not a very good immune system and health... I'm constantly sick every couple of months even weeks and it takes me forever to recover. It can be different every time - heat strokes, viruses, just tiredness, COVID, w/e.

Trust me when I say I checked and did everything possible for the past 10 years and I guess that's just me. This is my body, this is my "limit".

But without constant training week after week and progressive overload - I just see zero results for years now, because I'm stopping every single time I'm starting to progress. It's kind of like 1-2 months of training 2/3 month of recovery. Easy workouts just don't have this affect on me of a fit structure and raising up my booty.

Honestly, I don't even know what to do anymore and what I'm looking for. I guess maybe looking for any hope of people who maintained their physics and fixed their body issues with similar issue?

 

[kenosis]

@kuroba The majority of people will never get the “dream” body, even if we did would we be actually happy, it wouldn’t change the inside which is surely the most important? All physical forms don’t last, concentrate on your diet and maybe some sort of focus on your inside feelings, do what you can when you are able to exercise and be kind to yourself champ.

 

[tim10001]

@kuroba Dream bodies are built with obsessive effort, time, and sacrifice. Not all of us have the will and means to do that, and that's ok, we do tye best we can with what we have. The fact that you are out there putting in the effort you can is better than the majority who aren't doing anything. The journey is as important as the goal. Just keep at it, and there will be a day you will.look in the mirror and realize that you're looking damn fine

 

[dawn16]

@kuroba Sometimes the optimal approach doesnt work so go for the sub optimal approach.

Make sure your diet is in check always and when you do get to train that the workouts are quality. Heck maybe go less hard so your immune system doesnt get that big of a hit.

 

[nrg23]

@kuroba Your body doesn’t change overnight and a dream physique is a constant battle to maintain. If you can do everything possible to get there then control the variables you can control. Sure you might not be able to train as often as you’d like but if you can eat a protein rich diet than has you in a caloric deficit you can lose body fat which is the main part of having a dream physique anyways. Just walking lots will help to fix a ton of lower body visual issues.

It’s not about doing everything, it’s about doing all you can when you can and making it a priority

 

[ivans]

@kuroba You should still be able to make decent progress with 2 months lifting and 2-3 weeks off as a cycle. It's really not that different than the current 7 weeks on, 1 week off deloading protocol a lot of programs adhere to.

Speaking of which, what programs have you been running, and what are you doing for nutrition?

Those will have a much bigger impacts than taking a couple of weeks of every other month .

 

[7mrs_jenkins]

@kuroba 99% of guys couldn't achieve their IG dream body even with an IFBB pro sized mega dose of anabolics, I'd love to have 19" arms at 200lbs but it's not gonna happen this lifetime

Doesn't mean I'm going to give up being the best me I can be. You do you

 

[mousearts]

@kuroba How's your sleep? For many people that is the piece of the puzzle that's missing.

You should also forgo all your illusions about a dream body. Work with what you have and make incremental progress. Working out should make us happy not miserable. Not meaning to sound harsh, but you need to treat yourself better.

 

[cisty]

@kuroba Hello. It seems like you are in a difficult situation.

I think that you are in a position where you need to do a critical evaluation of what you can actually accomplish. I recommend that you write this down and refine it and review it with a trusted friend or a professional.

If you come to the conclusion that you genuinely have tried everything that you are willing to do to bring your health into alignment then it is likely time for a bit of radical acceptance.

The universe gives each of us a hand to play. If yours doesn’t include “dream body” then accept that and let it go. Find another meaningful goal and pursue that with everything that you have.

Do not pine over dream body if you decide to choose a different goal. Leave it behind you and put your full self into your new mission.

I am fortunate that I have good health and am able to work out consistently. For me the dream that I had to let go of was the military. That path is simply not open to me. Accepting that was not easy but I moved into doing jujitsu instead. I can also adopt the mindset of that culture.

I believe in you. You have the power to improve your life.

 

[broncofan]

@kuroba The journey IS the reward.

No matter the outcome stay consistent.

 

[kijbaolysa]

@kuroba Are you sleeping enough? Eating enough? Is there anything else you can do to reduce the chances of you getting sick. Mask wearing, increased hand hygiene, etc.

 

[david150]

@kuroba If you stick to it and keep going consistently your immunity will improve as well. Not every day you have to rock the gym with 2 hours workout. But when you start to missing days it will soon end up like in your case. What really helps is get your workout right after waking up so you don’t need to negotiate with yourself later. The self always wins then

 

[123123]

@kuroba I struggled for a long time as well until I cut alcohol out. Now finally seeing results at age 40

 

[ma2004bsf]

@kuroba Have you looked into the stories of people who have maintained fitness despite disabilities? There are a lot of stories of people who, for health reasons, lost the body they used to have, or lost the ability to pursue the fitness regime they used to thrive on. Fitness looks different depending on your medical reality - I think if you look into fitness journeys of people with significant health struggles, it might help give you perspective and help you develop your own goals and priorities.

 

[tjohnson]

@kuroba Ye im kinda like this too. What i do is i focus one part for a while. I did lots of core workouts first and now i have a strong core and skinny arms and legs, i worked butt a lil more later and now im focusing back and shoulders. Working everything at once takes lots of dedication, time, food and sleep. Maintaining most and growing 1 part is easier. Takes longer tho, hoping to get big arms some day but also kinda start doubting if i ever will.
Dont push youself too much, give ur immunesystem some love. I am sick way less when i take it more easy.

 

[cph]

@kuroba I personally start each fitness cycle with 10-20 minutes of bodyweight circuits at home, usually every day if I’m not sore and 30 min on my stationary bike; I also try to walk or stay active throughout the day. As I keep up the schedule, I add more exercises, weights, and reps. All I have is some dumbbells and a 100lb barbell set I got off Amazon. I’ve been at it for 5 months now (I get at least one strength circuit and one bike ride each week, but I aim for 4-5) and I’m probably the strongest and most in shape I’ve been in. My diet hasn’t been great through, so now I still have to cut 10-15 lbs for anyone to see it.

Don’t underestimate the impact of diet and time. I’m 36 and turn 37 next week and haven’t been active regularly since I was 31, but by the time I’m 38 I’m going to have my “dream” body. With life stuff, I know it takes about a year and a half of effort to get to where I want to be.

 

[chryssa1791]

@kuroba I get the frustration. 10 years and no progress would bother most people.

You didn't mention your diet or training much in your post. There's not a lot to go by. If you don't follow an organized diet, manage macros, then that would be a significant boost to your health.

If you have significant limitations and you are getting so ill that you stop training you may want to see a doctor to begin managing that. "Not a very good immune system" could mean many different things so getting it checked by a professional will cut through all the guesswork on social media.

 

[hap123]

@kuroba Dude just get on excessive TRT and tell everyone you tested low( atleast that’s what you want people to believe ) and then say you’re natty.. tons of people doing it

 

[tina2801]

@kuroba Is there a sub for people 35 years + that is about being fit and healthy and happy? This sub is way too obsessed with appearance. Where are the people who just want to look good and more importantly feel good without living in a gym and counting freaking macros?

The vanity is thick. We need to be working hard on our mental health as much as physical, and being obsessive about how you look isn’t a great mental state to be in. Aggressively feeding the ego is a detour on the path to happiness.

Hope you find some peace of mind OP. You are likely just fine like you are. Just focus on being healthy and fit. That is more than enough and more than most humans will have by middle age.

 

[youngwolf]

@kuroba I’d explore why a dream body is so meaningful to you. What does that represent? What do you gain from having it? What changes if you do/don’t get that? Then, is that truly what’s important in a meaningful life or is it possibly rooted in insecurity and/or vanity?

If you’re dealing with radical acceptance, changing perspective is the only thing you have control over.