Q: How to get over a thought "I wanted to start earlier, but didn't"?

[angelina70]

Hey! So this is rather a philosophical than fit question, but I'm sure, I'm not the only one who had the same issue at some point in their life.

How do I get over a thought, I wanted to start earlier, but didn't? Once I heard a proverb like "The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now." and I find it very wise and stuff, but... When I look at photos of my body I took 4 years ago, when I was 17 and was about to totally start going to gym, but didn't. It really makes me feel so freaking deprived. And those were my own choices, and staying in my comfort zone. When I feel, where I could be at right now, how my life could look, if I actually started... I just don't know. I of course started my journey, and don't feel like stopping, but Jesus — I, for real, don't know how to get over this thought. It's always there in my subconscious, waiting to make me to overthink and to feel down.

If someone had the same issue, and changed his mind, so it stopped bothering, please — share it with me.

 

[cfitz]

@angelina70 Realize that for me, my progress plateaued after about 2-3 years. Nobody will be able to gain .5-2 pounds of muscle every month for the next 20 years. So after working out for about 2-3 years you will reach where you would have been 5 years earlier.

TLDR; with consistent workouts, you will eventually plateau.

 

[johnofpinebrook]

@angelina70 Have you started now?

 

[angelina70]

@johnofpinebrook Yes, but the feeling won't go away.

 

[johnofpinebrook]

@angelina70 Congrats for starting

 

[angelina70]

@johnofpinebrook Thank you!

 

[dawn16]

@angelina70 What helped me is working with hypotheticals. For example, if I started earlier - sure maybe I could be super fit now. At the same time - I could have also given up early. 17-18 years old is a busy time with school, university / college applications, exams etc. How do you know for sure you’re going to stick with your fitness regime and get fit? What you have now that you didn’t have back then is the “lost time” mentality - something that can get you through difficult times in training.
Personal example: I was going to play rugby for an amazing club when I was 17, but decided to focus on school. Got into university and didn’t play well - always thinking that if I just pushed through at 17 maybe I’d be playing much better and helping my team win games. But it’s a huge maybe. Maybe I would have gotten sick of rugby. Maybe I could have gotten a career ending injury. Maybe I could have been amazing - who knows? What I then decided is to focus on what I can do in the now. I started eating healthy, going to the gym, training much more. I ended up being in the same level as people who have played much longer than me. You have it in you to make it up for lost time - focus on that. Focus on making up on lost time and soon enough you’d catch up with the “what if I started earlier” vision of yourself. Hope this helps!

 

[paradis]

@dawn16 All the numbers in your comment added up to 69. Congrats!

  17
+ 18
+ 17
+ 17
= 69

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[thewayyoushowjesus]

@paradis Nice!

 

[sharice1996]

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[heart4youth]

@angelina70 A rule to live your life by: only worry about the things you can control. Otherwise it’s wasted energy.

You can either be lifting now, building your dream body today.

Or you can cry over your past, like an old raving man screaming at the weather wishing it would change.

Also the fact you’re having regrets in your early 20s is good. It shows your growing. Just act, don’t mourn.

 

[srig447]

@angelina70 I have dealt with the same feeling! At 20 (1.5 years ago) I really wished I took gym more seriously when I started at 16/17 as I had made very little progress up to that point.

Good news is you can actually make a lot of progress within 1-2 years of starting and look better than 99% the population (sounds like a long time but it really isn’t). There’s nothing you can do to get the time back, but you can work extra hard (if it’s important to you) to try to make up for the lost time.

 

[lyndam]

@angelina70 38 here, started a year ago. Trust me bro I know, at least you started now and are doing it now.

Channel that feeling, and use it whenever you feel like not going.

 

[junipham]

@angelina70 Listen to the Alan watts recount of the proverb of the many and the hors of something. Basically all this random stuff happens and when it's a good thing they say "what good luck" but then as a result of that something worse happens and they say "oh what bad luck"... You get the picture.

You can't possibly know, no can anyone, what a path not taken may have led to. You may have joined the gym and gone every day, and been hit by a bus on the way and died, or lost a limb, or anything. It's infinite.

Find peace that you made the decision not to go then, and you can still make the decision now not to, or to go, it's all in your power. As for what could have been or what will be, you literally cannot know and therefore shouldn't regret.

 

[kaiisbae]

@angelina70 I definitely wish I would have made fitness and specifically weightlifting a part of my life much easier. I grew up a nerdy kid, and unfortunately lifting is associated with meathead bro’s, so I never considered it. I was always pretty active and skinny, but now that I’m lifting and really enjoying it, I wish I had gotten into it much sooner.

Oh well. Nothing to be done about that, just keep working hard now in the present.

 

[dreameater]

@angelina70 Shit. I look back at myself when I was in high school and college and then now, and constantly compare how my body and my stamina was back then. If I woulda kept up with myself and taken care of what I had, I wouldn’t have to be starting my fitness journey all over again. I’d be 80lbs lighter and able to do a proper sit-up.

What you need to start doing is stop beating yourself up about what COULD have been. Easier said than done, sure… but tell me this. Instead of being harrowed over the fact that you should have started back then… be proud of yourself for doing it now. Be confident in your mind and your body for the effort you’re going to put in TODAY. And tomorrow. And the next day.

I’m insecure about my weight. I’m insecure about my lack of fitness. But after I started going to the gym, it’s sort of melted away. Because it sucks to be insecure when you’re doing nothing to change It. But a body in the process of hard earned change is NOTHING to be ashamed of.

A person who makes an effort, whether starting 5 years ago or starting today, is a person worthy of praise and pride.

We all have our own journeys. We all make our own mistakes. When you start to get down on yourself, praise the little things, like the fact that you’re making efforts. And remember that there are people just like you (like me) who wish they would have done more way before this point. But shit, here we are. Enjoy the journey. You’ll be a stronger person after that. And maybe you’ll be able to help other people down the line who feel just like you.