Your body is someone else’s goal

[twallacejolly]

Hello you beautiful people,

I just wanted to say that after creeping on this subreddit for a while now, and searching soooo many times for posts about working out in a sports bra (if it’s okay, how people feel about it, hang ups about it, etc)...I finally did it today!

I wore a sports bra and high waisted sweatpants and I think this is my new favourite way to work out. I have yet to try leggings and sports bra, but I feel so encouraged after today.

And guess what?? I had the best workout of my life! Not once did I have to adjust my shirt or wonder if my form was good, because I was hidden under a loose top. I could see my muscles getting pumped, and I could see my sternum expanding and contracting as I breathed. I could see my body in a whole new way. A body for ME.

Just to be clear, my arms and back/bra fat (you know what I mean, right?) are my number one biggest insecurity. When I was overweight, I carried it all in my upper body. Until today I didn’t feel like I had the “right” to wear what I ACTUALLY wanted to wear, and I didn’t want people to think I think I’m hot (Such a weird self limiting belief amiright??)

I was inspired by this subreddit but also HopeScope. If you don’t know her, check her out on YouTube!

She said something which is really the point of my whole post. And this is really what I want to share with you:

Paraphrased: “Never forget, your body, WHEREVER YOU ARE AT, is someone else’s goal. Someone else is trying to get your body. And if you think about it, you know it’s true.”

I am also lucky enough to go to a gym where lots of women wear whatever the f they want and the men are very respectful. It’s a nice mix of hardcore weightlifters and families. Very chill vibe, which made it less scary. But still.

So please remember!! You don’t have to wait until a magical day when you feel “good enough” to wear what you want. You’re good enough today! You deserve to see your hard work! Whether you have 10 lbs or 100 lbs left to your goal weight, or even if you feel too scrawny or boobalicious or whatever! I’m not saying dress skimpily, just don’t dress to make other people feel comfortable. Dress to make yourself comfortable. You already deserve it. You are already worthy of your beautiful body. And someone out there wishes they had yours.

 

[sazzyv1010]

@twallacejolly I was just looking through top posts and saw this. I needed that reminder today.

 

[englishantebellum]

@twallacejolly Inspiring! Whenever I put on my workout gear, my mind focuses on whether or not I look good on it, not if someone finds me attractive which is irrelevant because I'm always in the ladies' section anyway. Also it gives me that extra push to actually go to the gym if I see that I look good on my gear because I always wanna look that good

 

[stefanm]

@twallacejolly Thats amazing! And I've a similar problem that is also the exact opposite. In my gym everyone wears a nice pair of high wasted leggings and a crop top and/or a sports-bra that has this wide band making it almost a crop-top and bra in one. Now, I find those... annoying. I've a bit of a pouch that folds over a normal wasted pair of pants so high-rise does look better but at the same time, its just so warm and uncomfortable. I also own only one pair of leggings with a pocket. Which is honestly a huge deal. So I wear this one pair regardless because everyone one else does too. My gym is super warm and I'd be much happier with a pair of loose shorts and a racerback shirt/stringer over a sports bra. But combines with my pair of gym shoes with socks I look very ... lost in the 80ties/is-totally-new-here-and-hasn't-bought-her-first pair-of-gymsharks-yet. The leggings make my form fuck-ups even more obvious. I just can't help myself from trying to fit in.

 

[chrisfromcuba]

@twallacejolly It took having a heatwave for me to start wearing shorts when I worked out and I’m so glad I did. I felt the same thing that I didn’t want to appear too full of myself - I think that’s mainly cause cycle shorts have become a trend now. In the beginning it felt weird, but then I realised every single guy at my gym wear shorts all year round so what was the big deal. I’m hoping someday I’ll feel comfortable wearing just a sports bra at the gym too. Well done op!

 

[mosesjustice]

@twallacejolly But im not someone else

 

[jimlye2008]

@mosesjustice Mood. I hate this fake positivity stuff. I think people should strive to feel neutral about their bodies at best, and I think it's valid to feel bad about your body if it isn't what you want.

 

[limeleaf]

@twallacejolly Best. Title. Ever!

 

[jimlye2008]

@twallacejolly "your body, WHEREVER YOU ARE AT, is someone else’s goal"

Sounds fake but ok I think most people at the gym are there with a very specific goal in mind- and I think most people are not it. My body as it is now wasn't even my goal body 50 lbs ago.

 

[outdoorguy]

@jimlye2008 I think there is truth to what this post says. I actually watched the video the OP mentions in this post a while back and felt pretty inspired by what Hope has to say in the video.

After 2 & 1/2 is years of dieting and working out, I am just 4 pounds away from my original goal weight that I set when I first started out. I have moved my goal posts by about 15 pounds lighter now that I see the potential my body has; however, I’d be over the moon if I had known at the beginning of my weight loss journey that I would actually reach my original goal weight!

I’m going to Bali in less than a month and even though I have new goals that are unattainable by then, you better believe I’ll be really proud to hang out at the pool/beach/yoga studio at my original goal weight. I am my previous self’s goal body. I know that I am the goal body of someone out there, even though it isn’t perfect by my own standards at this point.

I think the message is that wherever you are, there is someone out there who would really like to have the body you have or have the endurance or strength that you have, so you should try to be happy and have a little pride in what you have accomplished in your fitness journey, even if you are down by just 5 pounds or (in my case) nailing a yoga pose that you couldn’t do 6 months before.

I know it doesn’t apply to EVERYONE out there, but it can apply to many. I have a coworker who has been fighting the good fight in the weight loss arena for a while, and though I’d never say it out loud or to her, I know she would be pretty dang happy to have the body I had even a year ago.

I think this post / Hope’s message kind of encompasses what body positivity is all about. It’s about not beating yourself up for not being perfect. I go to the gym at least 6 days a week. That’s simply not attainable for most people. Maybe 3 days a week is not attainable for some. Some people will never have the time or resources to go to the gym/hire a trainer/ buy high quality health food and supplements.

The message is that there IS someone out there who wants the body you have and may even find it unattainable due to time or economic barriers. I get that weight loss is possible for everyone on every budget, but sculpting your body to be toned, tight, and aesthetically drool-worthy to the masses (the boat I am guessing both of us are in) is not feasible for everyone. Therefore, I bet your body and mine fit what someone else would deem their goal body or the best shape they’ve ever been in.

 

[ashastrio]

@twallacejolly I still get a little self-conscious about doing that (I’ve had kids too), but I’ve got rockin abs and I try to strut my stuff and show off my hard work when the confidence hits me . Thank you for the reminder to give no shits and just go for it regardless!

 

[twallacejolly]

Hi everyone, I can't believe how much attention this post got! I was pretty sure it would get seen by like two people, tops.

I just want to say, I've been seeing alot of people say that this whole "body positivity" mumbo jumbo isn't for them, that you are too fat or too skinny or too disabled or too mentally ill, or scarred. I get it. Before I lost weight (the first time, it's been a journey), I HATED more than anything when people told me I was "beautiful" or "perfect the way I was". They just didn't understand what was going on for ME. I felt dismissed by the whole thing. BUT.

I genuinely think everyone on this sub is BEAUTIFUL. And I know some of you are reading this and thinking I dont mean YOU, But i do! Because full disclosure here: I am a professional esthetician. Not only that, I am a waxer. That is literally all I do, 50 hours a week. For yeeears. I have seen you, or someone who looks just like you, naked.

I have seen so many bodies, so many csection scars, so many genitals, so many self harm scars (you are not the only one with cuts on your inner thigh, trust.)

I have seen people's bodies after decades of self neglect and abusive relationships, kids and divorces, triumphs over obesity, and the loose skin and stretch marks left behind.

I've seen deformities and missing limbs, body hair so thick there's no sign of skin, and alopecia normally covered by hats and wigs. I have seen stitches and moles and saggy boobs and fake boobs and plastic surgery scars and colostomy bags.

My clients are all ages, all races, all genders, and come from all socio economic classes. I have yet to meet someone who was genuinely ugly. Every single one of my clients, every single one, has something about them that I wish I had. That anyone would wish they had. As soon as I start a conversation with them, they are the most beautiful person I've ever met.

Everyone has a story, and the things you have been through, the person you are, COMBINED with what God (or whoever) gave you physically, makes you the most perfect creature you could possibly be right now.

I know you may think this does not apply to you, but even if you think someone doesn't want what you have physically, maybe they want something you have internally. You are beautiful and I am proud of you.

 

[saddamhusen085]

@twallacejolly oh god I cringe every time someone tells me that I don’t need to lose weight because I’m “beautiful just the way I am” lmao I mean I appreciate the sentiment but seriously I own a mirror and a scale and can see that I am not in a healthy place! I’m working hard to change it for my physical and mental well being but support to achieve my goals rather than dismiss them would be so nice!!!

 

[twallacejolly]

@saddamhusen085 Totally! I think people are hopefully coming from a good place but it’s sort of helpful to figure out who my real friends are. My boyfriend and coworkers luckily are also on a fitness journey and it helps so much

 

[saddamhusen085]

@twallacejolly Oh I’m sure!! I’m fortunate that my boyfriend is really supportive also. I know he loves me the way I am but he also knows how important this is to me and he tells me he just wants me to be happy and healthy. It makes the process much easier when you have people who support you and encourage you along the way

 

[holingragged]

@twallacejolly Good for you! But I just want to put this out there, if you're working out in a gym you might want to wear something so you're not lying on the equipment with your bare skin. The equipment is covered in other people's sweat and is pretty dirty, and you might get acne on your back.

 

[3mississippi3418milwaukee]

@twallacejolly Ugh I need to remember this because I’m way too hard on myself sometimes. I feel most confident in a crop top and high waisted joggers even if you can see a little pooch

 

[shnn18]

@twallacejolly So, I think that might be true for most people, and who knows maybe for me. But like, I'm a person with a body that's not only fat, but bizarre. Truthful or not, I don't think anybody wants to look like me. My body is ugly, and hearing stuff like "Your body is someone else's goal" when I was younger just made me feel alienated.

What worked for me was acknowledging that, there's no article of clothing that I can wear and fool someone into not realizing I'm fat. No matter what I wear, I will look like a fat person with freakishly enormous legs, because I am a fat person with freakishly enormous legs. There's no choice where I keep that a secret. There's only the choice where I wear the things I think others want me to wear to avoid having to look at how fat I am, or the things that I genuinely want to wear and feel moderately better about myself. That's it. Those are the choices. I will look fat in a one piece or a two piece or a tshirt and pants, so I might as well wear the things I want to wear, and do the things that I want to do. I'm fat either way. This is my body, I get to use it for whatever the heck I want to use it for.

 

[twallacejolly]

@shnn18 I bet you are 100% someone's goal with your awesome attitude! Even if you don't align with what you believe to be a societal standard, you deserve to exist and exist the way you want to. I think you're awesome.

 

[pappamurf69]

@shnn18 Yeah I agree I have scoliosis and used to self harm. I'm so screwed with my clothing choices and people/societies judgements. I just do what I want now because I have enough on my plate without the added discomfort of pandering to other people's sensibilities.