Help this dad fight “dad bod”

L

lostandfound123

New member
Hey everyone,

Here’s my situation:
  • I’m in my late 30s
  • New dad (5 months in)
  • Not new to exercise. I’ve always been relatively fit. I’ve lifted weights, done some distance running, and played sports.
  • My main sport these days is tennis
  • Main goals include all around fitness, stay injury free, and don’t do anything that will negatively impact tennis (e.g. a lot of overhead volume is probably a bad idea).
  • Since becoming a dad, I’ve tried and failed to stick with a program. The reason for failure is my schedule and energy levels are too unpredictable right now.
Which brings me to my ask:

Are there any programs built with a lot of flexibility?

My ideal scenario would be to have a routine I can choose from based on:

Duration: (15, 30, 45, 60 minutes)

Intensity: (recovery, endurance, strength, power)

This might be too specific of an ask though, so my backup question would be what are some programs with a lot of built in flexibility?

My equipment:
  • Home gym
  • Single kettlebells up to 88lbs
  • Dumbbells up to 90lbs
  • Trap bar and barbell
  • Landmine
  • Chin up bar
  • Weighted vest
  • Bands
  • Echo Bike
  • Treadmill
Put another way, what would you do?

Thank you.
 
@lostandfound123 So I’m a 40yo stay at home homeschooling dad. I started a fitness journey in 2020. I had the same equipment and goals. I’m a tall dude 6’6’’ chronically overweight for most of my 20s-30s. At the time I topped out at 360lbs. Over the last three years I’ve lost 100lbs. Here’s what I did:

0-40lbs lost: Switched to intermittent fasting (18-6 window). Basically removed breakfast and all evening eating. Two meals (lunch and dinner) and an afternoon snack. I started working out 5 days a week. Note: at the start I had a 4yo and a 9mo (no “I’ve got young kids excuses”). You can find time. Even if it’s only during naps, waking up early while mom sleeps, evenings when mom can cover, or splitting up workouts in pieces done through the day. During this time my workout focused heavily on the 10k kettlebell swing challenge with body weight exercises done between swing sets.

40-100lb lost: I realized that intermittent fasting only works so far. I adopted a heavy CICO methodology and logged my food (Fitbit app). I focused on being in deficit and using my Fitbit tracker (inspire 2) to track biometrics and steps. I committed to 7k steps a day and quickly boosted that to 10k. I haven’t missed a day in 2 years. That included the days I had the flu and was shitting my brains out. I NEVER MISS MY STEPS. My workouts evolved over time ranging from kneesovertoes guy routine, to kboges everyday, to a traditional bodybuilding brosplit im doing now (with bands and weights vest). The last 60lbs proved one thing. I can’t outwork my fork. My fitness is all in the kitchen. I average 500-700 zone minutes a week. 100k steps a week. I work out 5 days a week and 90% of the success is not working out, but meal prep and staying honest with food.

100-120: I’ve got 20lbs more to go to my goal. I’ve added muscle over the years and I’m honestly in the best shape of my life. The scary thing is it doesn’t take long to get here. My last 20lbs has been the hardest. I’ve been on a plateau for nearly 10mo. I’ve come to the realization that the last 20 are a macro nutrient issue. I’ve got to cut carbs and increase protein. It’s what my body works best on. It’s going to be hard but I’ll get there this year.

Gear I can’t live without:
  1. My kettlebell(S) I’ve got three.
  2. My thick power lifting bands I attach to my squat rack. And a hook handle attachment. I can use those bands for nearly every isolation exercise. And train to failure reliably.
  3. Treadmill. Some nights I need to get my last steps and can’t go out because it’s raining or it’s dark. The treadmill gets me those steps. It’s also great on off weeks where my daily exercise is to get 20k steps (10miles). I also picked up an elliptical. The wife and I workout together and watch shows in the garage while the kids are in bed.
If I were to say where to start it would be this. Get a Fitbit. Get 10k steps a day. Track everything you shovel into your mouth. You need to know what’s going in (food) and out (activity). Because when you’re shoveling that fourth donut in you know who’s to blame. The last thing is stay consistent never give up. It’s a long game. Good luck!
 
@cyberherbalist Awesome journey.

So, I’d normally say the “just get it done” advice is a good. And if I were really out of shape, I’d probably bump it up the priority list so that I can keep up with my kid and not die prematurely.

In my case, I’m relatively muscular, lean, and fit. Exercise is a habit that dates back to my teen years, so I’m not new to this. Was I more fit before she came? Yes. But I’m by no means out of shape.

Unfortunately, disregarding my new circumstances and “just doing it” gets me sick/injured right now.

My wife is dealing with postpartum injuries so I’m taking most of the night shifts while also running a business. I’m sleep deprived, working harder to make up for some her lost income, and put time with her and my daughter at the top of my list right now.

Current order:
  • wife and daughter
  • business
  • tennis
  • training
  • friends
With training this low on my priority list, it can’t get the same time and energy I would have given it before without taking from something I consider more important right now.

This doesn’t mean I can’t train or even train hard. It just means some days I have 15 minutes and no energy. Some days I have 60 minutes and enough energy. And some days my energy and available time do the match up.

I’m thinking a better goal for me right now might just be to get in what I can when I can, accept that I won’t make a ton of forward progress like I would on a program with progressive overload, and be okay with remaining in striking distance until training can move up the list again.
 
@lostandfound123 I hear you on the sleep deprived lane. I’d say this. I was able to do the 10k kettle bell swing challenge in minimal time. I took it with me when I traveled. I was able to do 25 reps in 20 sets in under 40min (30-40sec rest between sets). It was simple and easy to do, and I could focus on other things while doing it (phone calls, planning, etc). You get the muscle stimulus and cardio wack.

If that’s too much I’d look into the kettlebell complexes that are time bound and rep focused. For example, do as many of X kettlebell flows in 20 min. You sweat hard and do a bunch of work in a limited time. Good luck it sounds like you have a lot on your plate.
 
@landedmapleleaf I have two bells that are the same weight. These are my 45 pound bells. It allows me to do single arm kettlebell movements, and double arm movements, as well as various carries. Then I have a 60lb bell for two handed volume swings.

I have three sets of these bands.. I hang them from different points on my squat rack. I have them to assist pull ups, To do arm workouts, back/rows, and shoulder workouts. I have a set of rings for push-ups. And a weighted vest for ATG split squats, vmo squats, and a box to do jumps and step ups.

Edit: I forgot to add I have two of these handles that hook to the bands.
 
@cyberherbalist
quickly boosted that to 10k. I haven’t missed a day in 2 years.
Click to expand...

This is incredible especially to someone struggling to even do 5k (I work from home and live in a typical North American car centric suburb/city). Do you walk a lot for your job or because of the city you live in?
 
@jccarlos26serra I'm a stay-at-home dad (two kids). I homeschool and shepherd these kids to all their events/classes. I'm not going to lie, when I first started tracking, getting 3-5k was hard. I had to really examine my daily choices with respect to all basic movement. I didn't realize I was so sedentary.

7k steps is basically 3.5 miles. At a brisk pace, I can do that in just over an hour. So think of it as stretching 75 - 90 minutes of walking throughout a 15-hour day.

Here are a couple of hacks I put in place (I do these things without even thinking):
  1. All A to B destinations get a bit 'extra.' For example, if I go to the store, I park in the back. If I'm going out to the mailbox at the end of the street, I'll walk the cul-de-sac first and then turn to the mailbox.
  2. I make extra trips for all things. Yeah, I'm a man and I can carry all 20 grocery bags, but I'll take two at a time and make 10 trips. When I'm cleaning up around the house I don't do it efficiently. When I'm brushing my teeth I'm pacing the hallway for two minutes. When I'm on a phone call I go out to the garage and pace while on my headphones (my wife does something similar and paces an empty conference room instead of sitting at her desk). Take the long way to the bathroom at work.
  3. If I'm not at 5k steps by 2-3 pm I go for a quick mile walk. It's about 20 minutes. Also know your distances. I've got 15 minutes, I can get a quick 1000 steps by walking to the blue house in the next neighborhood. I've got 30 minutes I can make it to the park and back. Having those distances ready for different 'walking' needs makes it easy to snag steps.
  4. I plan step breaks by knowing what's coming up the next day. If I know I'm 'stuck in meetings all morning (aka dance classes)' then I'll get a quick mile or so on the treadmill in the morning. Nothing better than starting your day at 3k steps instead of 0.
  5. I purposely push myself to get out and move with my kids. I spent most of my life overweight. If I'm not moving, they are likely not moving. I want to instill good habits in them. And I want to engage instead of dying slowly staring at my phone. I look back on how many days I sat on the couch just staring at my phone. I don't want that anymore.
  6. At the end of the night, I can watch TV on my treadmill. It's an easy way to finish up a bad step day.
  7. I know this sounds stupid, but when my wife and I are catching up in the evening and talking about the day, I'll stop her and ask, can we do this pacing in the garage or pacing around the kitchen/living room. We immediately start walking around and talking. It sounds dumb, but it works. We're both bought into getting our steps and movement.
  8. When the weather is good (clear days and summers) I get my steps easy walking around the neighborhood or going out walking with the kids. Since you're WFH you have a great advantage here. Take a meeting on a walk. Take your lunch on the go. We have a two-mile loop in our neighborhood that we walk every evening after dinner. It's a quick 4k steps and can make the difference.
  9. Audiobooks first. I only read-read when I'm going to sleep. This has been a big saver. I read ~40 books a year and that put my butt on the couch too much. I made the switch to audio and boosted my input to ~70 books a year. I spend a lot of time walking to read. Walking to podcast.
Here's a video of a guy doing 20k for 30 days. You'll see a lot of the same advice above. I like the 20k step days (I have a week of them coming up in two weeks). They are always fun and a challenge. I've discovered in this process that I love long-distance walking. I routinely go on long 10-15 mile walks on paved trails nearby. I hope this helps. It seems odd, but once you 'normalize' to getting your steps, you'll look back and marvel at how easy 7k is to get. Good luck!
 
@cyberherbalist Thank you for such a detailed and in depth answer. I’m struggling with the 5k steps so I will make that a reasonable goal first. To be honest it’s a very easy goal to hit if I even go for a 15 minute walk. One day 7-10k :D
 
@lostandfound123 I became a father when I was working full time shift work at a hospital and studying for my specialist medical training. I've tried most programs. I still believe you cannot beat Bryce Lane's Have it All Program. It's over 20 years old and still one of the greatest programs ever made for 'short on time, don't want to think'.

It's the ultimate in simplicity:
  • Two compound exercises (My favourite combinations were trap bar deadlift + clean and press, barbell Zercher squats + weighted pull up/dips, or sandbag shouldering/HSPU)
  • 20 minute session
  • 3 or 4 days per week ( I often did three because I was busy)
  • Set a timer, start doing lifts, when you hit a session where you can do 50 total reps in 20 minutes, add some weight and work back up to 50 over the next weeks.
It really is that simple. I got into pretty ridiculous shape doing this. I would recommend starting at ~60% 1RM and working into it. If you're using kettlebells, you can just stick with one weight and work up to 60:20, 70:20, 80:20 etc.

Accept that progress will be slow if you're sleep deprived. On days where you don't feel up to pushing it, just do 20 reps (1 rep on the minute) with your current weight, or do 50 reps with 50% weight, or something like that. It's very flexible.

Let me know if you want to know anything else. I have spent a lot of time doing and thinking about this program over the years!
 
@itsmybeautifulsoul Never seen this methodology before, I like the simplicity and ability to have different focuses.

How often would you switch up your two chosen exercises. For example, how long would you run Trap deadlifts and clean and presses before moving to your other chosen combinations?
 
@scottcuster Simple answer: As long as it's still working.

Detailed answer:

If total reps per session were going up and I feel good, I would continue. If stalling out there are a number of approaches:
  • You can keep the exercise the same and drop the weight and aim for a higher rep total, or increase the weight with a lower rep target. E.g. a few weeks at 30 total reps may give you the strength increase you need when you go back to your old weight, or 80 total reps with a lighter weight may give you the strength endurance/conditioning boost you need.
  • You can change to an alternative form of the same exercise. E.g. go from trap bar deadlifts to deficit trap bar deadlifts. Or barbell clean and press to double KB clean and press.
  • If I was getting bored or feeling overuse niggles coming on, I would change up and do two new exercises.
  • As I said, the idea is extremely flexible!
I think there are two places for this program:
  1. To get through busy, chaotic periods of your life.
  2. To get out of your own head if you are in 'paralysis by analysis'.
I've only ever run it in 3-6 month blocks. I'm sure you could run it indefinitely, but you would need to be smart with your increments, recovery etc.
 
@itsmybeautifulsoul This is good stuff. I used the 50/20 program for years- I have not used it for the last 3 years, but in the past, when i worked a lot of nights, weekends, holidays, 36+ hour shifts--- I used the 50/20 system. As I recall- there was an entire forum on Rosstraining.com that i cannot find the archives now....

Basically i used the following

Day 1- sandbag bearhug squats/shouldering (50/20). Finisher was 5-10min of chinups/sandbag carry for time. if you have extra time/energy- do some hill spriints 4-7 (I live on a hill)

Day 2- clean/press Keg- 50/20. Finisher was 5-10min of jump rope etc whatever you want.

I borrowed this program from a guy named Leeroy on the Rosstraining forum.

If anyone knows if that forum is archived-- its a diamond mine.

train hard!

V
 
@itsmybeautifulsoul damn. i hope time has treated you well.
I am 49 yo now and in better shape than ever.!!
💪🏾😁
crazy as it sounds-
i recall you had a program where u listed shouldering SB, Thick bar curls, sprints etc (based on 50/20)..
would you mind ( if u recall it)
reposting that one??
I need to mix things up a bit and want to get back into this one and the program u listed specifically back then was awesome…
Thanks in advance.
I just discovered reddit!
 
@trackerbodean I was JHmuaythai on there and logged 50/20, with a big chunk of that being this very version from Leroy!

can’t remember it exactly as didn’t get round to archiving my log before it got wiped, So would be great to hear what Leroy says
 
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