Is it just me or do we get ignored at parties/bars because we’re short? like people can’t see or notice us in the crowd

W

woollybear

New member
(this is coming from a 4’10 woman’s perspective)

(i know this isn’t necessarily fitness related but i can’t find a subreddit that’s just for petite-women in general. when i search i only find sexual accounts or petite-fashion, petite-fitness etc)

i feel like at any crowded event or party- like q bar, club, house party, etc. i feel almost invisible sometimes. i will feel so confident getting ready to go out- my outfit looks good, i look good

but then once i’m out i feel like parties are the worst time to be short. as a woman, i don’t mind being short usually but at parties/bars i feel like people don’t even see me.

they knock into me, they knock into my drinks i’m holding and i almost spill them, i get pushed around cause people don’t see me, people can barely hear me when i talk to them cause they’re so high up

i feel like being short is a reason i don’t get hit on as much. i know im attractive and good looking, and i’ve had really attractive men be into me, but at parties/bars my taller friends (girls who are 5’5 for example) always get approached more than i do. i just feel like the short best-friend tagging along that doesn’t get noticed. i know there’s guys out there who have a thing for short girls but i feel like for most men it’s just a turn-off that i’m so short or they literally just don’t even see me or notice me when i’m out. i feel like parties are the time when tall girls thrive

i try to dress in a way where i’m more noticeable and stand out, like wearing red instead of black but still i feel like people just don’t even notice me because of my height

anyone else relate?
 
@woollybear I am 5’0” and I can absolutely relate to this. It sucks, I feel like people just see the top of my head lol. And, i am not curvy, so I just feel short and scrawny compared to everyone else. Even if I wear tall heels it doesn’t really help. I don’t know if there’s anything I can do, just wanted to say that I relate and empathize.
 
@kolibri I am also not curvy. I have a rectangular body shape and had a friend in high school tell me I looked “like a 12-year-old boy”. Now I’m 38 and have much better friendships, but I’ll never forget that.
 
@thepenitentthief Ugh I’m sorry, that’s the kind of stuff that will stay with you. I haven’t experienced that in person, but I have read the exact same thing online many, many times about our body type. Even though I was an adult when I first read it, it made me pretty self-conscious about my figure. I can’t imagine how I would feel if I first heard it as an impressionable teenager. Glad your current friends are decent people.
 
And to make this fitness related, one day I was using the assisted tricep dip machine, taking a short rest before my next set, and was standing right next to the machine. A guy came up to start using it because he literally hadn’t seen me.
 
@woollybear The worst was always public transport. When I lived in London and the trains were crowded, people would squeeze around me and I’d get a lot less personal space than other people. Once someone actually used my head as an arm rest.

I don’t remember being ignored at bars and clubs though. But I always wore the kind of heels that I don’t think my old lady feet could handle anymore.
 
@woollybear 5'0" here. I have a very "loud"personality (animated, excitable, confident) at parties/bars/clubs so I typically don't have that experience. Strangers sometimes pick me up or pat my head a lot, though. My husband is shocked by how often that happens.

However, I do have that experience while commuting by public transportation or walking on city steeets. I'm constantly having to move so they won't hit into me, and if I choose to walk a straight path instead... total shock at my existence once they've knocked right into me.
 
@pbaker Yes! I hate the picking up thing. I’ve gotten literally, physically picked up by strange men at clubs numerous times. What the hell.
 
@woollybear I think it just depends on the environment you’re in. I’m 5’1, my best friend is 5’9 & I definitely get shoved a lot more than she does but men don’t necessarily talk to her more than me. I’m not sure it has to do with height, it’s just kinda random. My friend feels like she gets ignored all the time going out, so again, maybe it just depends on where you’re at.
 
@woollybear No. The only time I feel this way is at a concert where it’s standing room only. Then all the 6+ footers feel like they need to stand right in front of me.
 
@woollybear I notice this too - I’m 4’10 as well - but I think it has more to do with RBF and body language that makes me seem unapproachable (usually bc I feel uncomfortable in crowded spaces).
 
@woollybear I’m not trying to get hit on or attract attention at parties and clubs so I can’t speak to that part. But yes, I do feel like people don’t notice I exist at 5’0. Stuff like being knocked around in a crowd, almost every time I’ve posed for a group photo some tall person stands directly in front of me (don’t mind this so much tbh I hate photos lol), same thing waiting in line at a bar… when I say something or pointedly push back in front of them, it’s always “oh sorry I didn’t see you there!” Stuff like that.

I also have a fairly young and childish looking face, so that paired with being short, I feel like people often don’t take me seriously. I’m in my 30’s but people still refer to me “that girl” instead of “that woman”, if that makes sense. I sometimes think I’ll be seen that way until I’m a wrinkly old hag 😂
 
@woollybear Fully relate.

In my case I feel like it's because I look like a teenager due to my height and physical appearance. 5'1 and 90 lbs

Even if I wear make-up or change my clothes- I always end up looking like a 15 year old trying to look 20.
 
@solego lol i’ve been told i look like i’m in high school by a few people but that doesn’t really bother me because i’ll just look younger when i’m older 😂
 
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