Is it just me or do we get ignored at parties/bars because we’re short? like people can’t see or notice us in the crowd

[woollybear]

@jamesgonebatty true! thanks for the reminder

 

[rossylisy]

@woollybear Yes, because I don’t have problems in situations that aren’t crowded/people are sitting.

 

[lin]

@woollybear Oh gosh yeah! 4’9” here. I remember in the days I used to go to crowded bars or clubs, conversations would always happen way above my head. I’d feel so ridiculous nodding and shouting to be heard from down below lol. Worst part was all the drinks being held up over my head and sloshed around - I always went home with so much alcohol in my hair!!

 

[falldown]

@woollybear Definitely relate! It feels like I’m a kid sometimes and I’m not seen as an adult. It sucks because sometimes the people that DO notice are creepy and infantalize because of the height.

About the club, maybe it’s the environment? Especially if it’s crowded, everyone’s bumping into each other, and everything is so high-energy. Not sure, but you’re not alone on this op

 

[woollybear]

@falldown yea forgot to mention this too. i feel like i always attract creepier guys than my friends do…

 

[creator123]

@woollybear It's not just you and you're not imagining it! I'm 5'1" and I just disappear in large crowds. Everyone looks straight over my head at the normal-height people around me. Wearing heels doesn't even help because all the other women are wearing heels too! I always say that women over 5'4" shouldn't be allowed to wear heels.

Men definitely ignore me at parties and bars, though I'm sure they're not doing it on purpose. They just don't see me! And if they do see me, they're not interested because they think I'm 15. I have a hard time getting the bartender's attention for the same reason.

 

[oldwatchman]

@woollybear I can relate…the exception would be the creeps that be attracted to very short females. Sometimes I think they see us as an easy mark.

 

[jmh1030]

@woollybear No, but I have a pretty direct personality. People accuse me of lying or being wrong about my height (4’11”) pretty regularly. Maybe my body proportions but also maybe my personality make people think I’m taller. I’ll literally be in the same room with another 4’11” girl, and people will believe her height but not mine I don’t let people use me as arm rests, shove me around, etc.

That said, I’ve never been noticed or hit on that much by men. The most attention from men I ever got was when I lost a lot of weight. I’m never even been that fat, really, but the fact is, men just really hate fat women and only want thin women.

 

[woollybear]

@jmh1030 would you say you’re very skinny and maybe that’s why you appear taller?

even when i’m wearing heels that make me 5’1 some people will still guess my height is 4’10

 

[jmh1030]

@woollybear No, I’m not that skinny. I’ve weighed anywhere between 105 and 130 as an adult, and I’ve gotten that comment regardless of my weight. Some of my friends say it’s because me legs are long in proportion to the rest of my body.

 

[eldgrim]

@woollybear You’re not imagining it. This is my experience too. No personal space, it’s so suffocating.

 

[cadtalk]

@woollybear Im 5“2 and never experienced it to this extent. People usually do notice me (and I never wear heels, I really am 5“2) and they also hit on me if I’m alone. My fiancé is also 6“2 and normally tall men like me the most. I do not look like a teenager though, as some state that as a reason to get overlooked, I always had curves and bigger breasts and a big butt so maybe that’s why I don’t get particularly ignored?

I live in germany and most women are taller than me, but there’s a good amount of smaller women and they never complained either.

I’m really curious as to why this happens to you?

My sister is by the way 4“8 and she really does look younger and she gets noticed and also hit on often. People also don’t push her around or something like that. Maybe it has to do with culture? I don’t know where you live

 

[woollybear]

@cadtalk i’m from the united states

 

[subitoit]

@woollybear As an American who does a lot of professional work with people from Germany, Switzerland, Iceland, and the Netherlands, I've noticed that people are much more polite in Europe, and the misogyny I see here, I don't see there. Something about our culture seems very broken to me.

 

[dawn16]

@woollybear Totally get ya. I just feel like a child who is somewhere they don't belong so I just don't any more.

 

[oldwatchman]

@woollybear One time in a crowd a total loser thought it was funny to use my head as an end table and try to rest his beer there…not funny at all.

 

[sweetkf]

@woollybear Yes! I feel so claustrophobic in crowds and can never get a bartenders attention either.

 

[cinemike]

@woollybear This is why I have a theory that we often befriend other short women - we can talk to them more easily in crowded situations, etc.

 

[pete71]

@woollybear People aren't ignoring you because of your height. They're out drinking, having fun and not paying attention. Most people will get knocked into or pushed by accident when by the bar, regardless of height. But the more you adopt this mindset the more it will ring true for you. I don't think height is the issue here.

 

[elisvac]

@woollybear I can relate to this. And I have a soft voice so people just don’t hear me. It doesn’t help that my mouth is a foot lower than their ears.