Lily Myers "Shrinking Women"

@sabrina_ "You have been taught to grow out / I have been taught to grow in." WOW. This hits so hard.

"And all of them started with 'Sorry'"... hand over mouth. WOW.
 
@sabrina_ That was awesome! Definitely brought some perspective.

It is interesting to see how differences in upbringing can affect how we interact with the world, whether we are assertive, or passive.

One thing that kind of relates to this and fitness, is that from a young age on a greater whole, women are taught that they are physically weaker than men and should not try so hard. They are told they should not grind, sweat, grimace, when working out or participating in sports. They should not eat a ton for performance. This mentality is not really looked down on, but it is also not overtly encouraged.

Of course not every female is brought up that way, but many are. Many are given choices to do sports but are not pushed as hard into it. They are not told they are strong physically and mentally from a young age and therefore think that doing 50 push ups or benching their bodyweight is impossible.

I really like the powerlifting movement because it empowers women to push past that barrier, as do many other sports.

I only hope we move from the perspective that not only accepts a woman that sweats, grinds, and grimaces and eats for performance (not for frailty), but also encourages it.
 
@dawn16 The eating for performance thing definitely rings true for me. If there is a gathering I always keep snacks in my bag beacuse the guys stuff there faces with no consideration for whats left for others to eat, that's considered normal and I'm expected to be happy with only a light meal because I'm a women.
 
@sarahanne1982 Yes, absolutely. Like if I order a steak at the restaurant and my husband gets the salad they always give the steak to him. I am like... uh, hand it over.

But for real. Women are on a whole taught to be 'dainty' and small. That means eating less and taking up less space. It is so empowering to do the opposite. With confidence.
 
@sabrina_ I watched this when I was a white belt in jiu jitsu and was struggling with letting myself put all my weight on my partners. I had this mindset that I was just too big and heavy for them. Which is dumb because I never had problems with anybody else's top pressure, and we all rolled with these dudes who are much bigger and heavier than me. This sport is the thing that made me finally see the space my body takes up as an asset and not a flaw.
 
@babo2013 Purple belt here - this makes me smile. The number of new ladies who are afraid of being "white belt spazzes," makes sense, but they're likely not engaging enough. I get taps when I get to mount, and no effort trying to pass guard or hold side. It's funny! I have to convince ladies that they won't hurt me during their first week. I've got 6 years of experience and know how to tap dammit!
 
@abosie Yep! My epiphany happened during a women's group private class I set up with my coach. We spent like four months on "knee surfing" (knee on belly, knee on chest, etc). You have to get over it or else you don't learn it right.

It always warms my heart when a new lady shows up and tries to wreck shop. A lot of the ladies at my gym cross over from the tae kwon do program and are a lot more timid about personal space at first.
 
@babo2013 😀 it is always refreshing when a mew lady goes tough!

(Also, I stalked your profile history and we go on pretty much the same subs - keep being awesome. OSSSSS)
 
@sabrina_ Something that has helped me is eliminating 'just' out of my emails. Rather than 'I was just writing to see you if received my previous email' I will instead say 'did you receive my previous email'. It's amazing how empowering eliminating a tiny word has made me feel!
 
@nzube I feel like 50% of my emails start with "I just wanted to follow up on..." or some such. It's a habit that annoys me because I know I overuse it, but I'm not sure how else to phrase things, and most of my emails are to higher-ranking people so I do need to kiss ass to some extent. It's a hard line to toe, being deferential but not pushover...
 
@fmontanay2 When trying to understand a situation or in some instances challenge what was said in an email, I used to say "I just wanted to clarify" or "Just to make sure I understand.."

Lately, I've switched to, "To clarify, " or "Making sure we are all on the same page, ". Subtle change but it's been a transition
 
@nzube YES! I had to check myself every time I called someone at work because I always started the call with "Hi it's just euwadulthood from placeofwork". Removing the 'just' had a pretty significant impact on the tone of the rest of the conversation.
 
@sabrina_ Thanks for sharing this. This hits close to home and is something I try to be mindful of with two young daughters. Lifting definitely moved my focus from losing weight to being strong. I hope that's the habit my girls come away with.
 
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