@dawn16 There is correlation, but it's generally because of unhealthy lifestyle, not just obesity. Many people can have the conditions you noted despite doing everything they can to be healthy. There's people out there that just have shit genetics/luck. There are "average weight" people who have had multiple heart attacks and strokes because they have unhealthy life styles. There's people on this sub who are a healthy weight, but have shit cardiovascular health and others who have great heart health but can't lift a container of cat litter. I don't think either extreme are necessarily healthy.
I'm not trying to argue with you. I'm just trying to point out that health is not just weight. I deal with medical information on a daily basis. I see people with all of the conditions you mentioned and they aren't overweight and have never been overweight. I've seen it way too many times where doctors see a thin or normal-weight person and completely dismiss the patient's concerns or completely miss red flags because they have bias. I've seen it way too many times where someone is younger and of normal-weight but has more health conditions than a 90-year old.
@hiskid8883 She never said health = weight. She said weight was strongly correlated to negative health outcomes. It's a statistics and long-term risk thing.
@hiskid8883 Here’s a question for you...how many overweight people in their 90’s do you see. The answer is basically none. The absolute WORST thing you can do for your health is become overweight. Genetics are one thing and we can’t change them but we have things called modifiable risk factors with weight being the most important.
@milan45 Lots of people think, "I'll be happy when I'm skinny, or when I weigh 'x' amount." A lot of the time, people reach their goal weight and find that they're still not comfortable in their body, or they don't feel pretty, confident, etc. The reality is that the changes to your appearance don't change who you are.
You should prioritize your health, both mentally and physically. That means, finding your version of a healthy body and acknowledging/accepting that you can't control the way people react to your body at any size.
Know that you can be healthy without being skinny. You can have a healthy/athletic body without being a size 2.
Yes! I love your idea to focus on being strong vs weight and aesthetics.
@eternal1551 I’ll second this. My weight loss wasn’t MAJOR, I went from size 8-10 US to 4 awhile back (about 30 lbs) and didn’t notice a change in the attention/harassment I got. The only different attention I got was from family and close friends.
Like @samshine1 says, I also didn’t ever feel like “okay I’m done!” Or “okay I did it!” Even though I had reached all my goals. My body didn’t look like what I thought it would. It’s weird what things others will respond to and what you will respond to. It might not be what you think.
@milan45 This is actually reallllly common, typically in childhood trauma victims actually. I don’t want to make assumptions or ask personal questions, just something for you consider personally. If that strikes a chord for you, look up the Aces Too High study.
@milan45 This is exactly why I’ve always hit a wall with respect to losing weight as an adult. I was always the chubby friend and therefore somewhat invisible. I’m currently a normal BMI but my focus is being strong, which somewhat reduces my anxiety. Also, as you get older you care less and less what people think of you.
@milan45 This is exactly why I’ve always hit a wall with respect to losing weight as an adult. I was always the chubby friend and therefore somewhat invisible. I’m currently a normal BMI but my focus is being strong, which somewhat reduces my anxiety. Also, as you get older you care less and less what people think of you.
@milan45 I've always been quite thin, so it's a bit of a different scenario, but when I was at my heaviest , I realized how much of the unwanted attention I had been getting was due to my weight. However, I am much healthier, stronger, and happier in every regard at a lower weight, even though I experience more harassment and discomfort. A non-fitness related thing that has helped is dressing in a no-nonsense and mature way to curb certain men's attraction. For me, that's business casual even when not at work. Also, even though I couldn't care less about wedding rings, I wear mine when going out.
@esnipe Man that’s a bummer. Those are not the clothes I feel most powerful or most myself in, and I get so down when I’m hiding myself from the world to try and feel safer.
@esnipe Came here to say exactly this... like you, I had the opposite problem. The looks doubled when I was “heavier” because I had a curvier body type (Mediterranean build). It always made me feel super uncomfortable & dislike my body even more. When I lost weight, people finally started focusing on my face, and I was confident for once.
But honestly in the end I chalk it up to people not knowing how to behave. Regardless of body shape, no one should make anyone else feel inferior.
@milan45 This is an interesting perspective. Thanks for opening up and sharing.
Two things:
Yes, absolutely focus on being healthy and having fitness needed to do whatever you determine matters to you. Being a healthy weight is important too though. Your body will function better and your life will be healthier.
Working on mental and emotional fitness is fundamental too! Therapy might do you some good, as well as any other mindful practice like journaling, yoga, meditation, etc.
Health is about the whole! Being fit and weighing less can feel safe too.
