Some struggles living in Japan and deciding to take back control of my weight

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prodigalson8523

New member
I live in Japan, a place of petites who are super skinny ladies.
I’m 35, American with German ancestry. 150cm.
It’s so hard to see other people who are your hight, but that are so much more lean. These ladies do Hot Yoga and dance. No strength training and lots of pickled veggies.
It was great living in Japan at first. Lots of walks and I was teaching kids classes. I went from 70 to 55kg. Perhaps the skinniest I’ve been in my adult life. I must have been on a constant calorie deficit because I was just eating yogurt for lunch and pork with udon for dinner. Haha.
After 7 years and a change of jobs, I am now again 73kg.

I don’t fit in here at all.
Even the Extra Large size barely fits me.
Clothes are made for small chested people. I’ve resorted to sometimes using chest binders to fit into clothes “normally”.

I went to get my bustier fitted for my wedding dress I’ll wear next year. I felt so embarrassed that I went from being a B cup to an E cup ( could be the Pill too)

My partner is a fitness guy. Super fit and he’s been teaching me about nutrition and such. We usually share meals together, but I’ve noticed that even though the food is nutritious. I don’t lose weight. And I feel like it just goes up.
I walk more than him, so I had wondered if there was something wrong with me. I got checked for hypothyroidism ( my dad has it ) and it was normal ( I mean, yay! But still felt lost )
I go through days where im so stressed, I crave sweets like a madman. It’s really the core issue to my weight. That and that I eat like a normal hight person.

After getting frustrated and had a big talk with my partner, we’ve decided to start counting calories together. He eats pretty late (8pm) and I have to tell him I can’t eat so late. I think it could be hindering my ability to lose weight.

Im starting off my taking control. I’ve been researching how petite bodies can be healthy and fit. That 1400 is the lowest I should actually eat to lose weight.

I’ve learned that instead of cardio, I should do Strength training! Luckily, my partner has heavy weights at home. And that I should get back to walking more!! 10,000 steps each day is my goal. (It’s so hot here in Saitama now though)

I’ll get my wedding dress fitted next Saturday. I’m hoping I can drop a couple more kg so that I can feel and look good and make myself proud at my wedding. My partner is very supportive and I’m pretty lucky about it.

Wish me luck!!
 
@prodigalson8523 Just want to pop in and say I understand your struggle. I’m an American living in China and shopping for clothes very quickly became my absolute least favorite activity. I’m not super overweight for my height but since everyone here is tiny, I stand out horrendously (and I already get plenty of stares just for being a foreigner). I’m finally at the point where I don’t care about running and working out in public but I used to be so self-conscious of the stares (I wish I was exaggerating but people still very much do take pictures of me in 2023) that I refused to do any type of exercise where other people could see me. Now that I’ve changed that mindset, I’m seeing some progress.

Funnily enough, my boyfriend is also a huge fitness guy. Very good about his diet, consistent with working out, has a freaking six-pack, the whole deal lol. He’s very patient and loving though, and super happy to help me with my fitness journey. Like he’s so excited to watch me progress and is my number one cheerleader. I love it hahah.

We can do this!!
 
@prodigalson8523 It's funny how the norms are so different there. I am actually Asian (though I grew up and live in Canada) and even I was out of place when I used to go back and visit relatives. There are so many "One size fits all" stores and I couldn't fit and they'd be like "It's okay, it's for Asians" and I'd just laugh because...I am too? My Caucasian sister-in-law went to China and she's probably a size 4/6, but taller, but they looked at her and exclaimed "no no no, nothing for you!" And culturally it's very acceptable to tell someone if they're too big, too small, too short, whatever, so I was just told all the time. Luckily I am still very culturally similar so it never bothered me, I just found it humorous. It's been a number of years of my fitness journey so I am actually very lean and strong now but it's a toned North American standard and not the stick-thin waify Chinese preference - so I still don't fit in. It is what it is.

It's okay to get some motivation out of your current environment, but I also encourage you to find your own health and fitness standards that make you feel your best. Good luck!
 
@simsodep8388 Thank you for sharing your experience!! Glad you’re on a healthy path~ the stick thin look is so attractive but unhealthy. It’s good to have a different perspective on it and just laugh.
 
@prodigalson8523 That's really all you can do! I had a stick thin friend tell me she just eats a couple pieces of candy every few hours so that she's not hungry for a real meal, and to trust her, it works! And I'm sure it could work but uh .... no thank you. Just another thing to laugh about. I've also lived in rural Canada where people are generally larger and everyone there thought I looked anorexic when I was at my heaviest. It just made me realize everything is so relative. There's no ideal and there's no perfect. Just try to be a healthy you :)
 
@prodigalson8523 I am from South Asia and the struggle is real. Majority of girls are thin and it feels like there is something wrong with yourself. You just walk in the street and see someone thinner than you and immediately it feels bad, but comparing with others is just harmful is what I have realized. Best of luck in your weight loss journey. I wish you all the best.
 
@prodigalson8523 Don't do weight lifting instead of cardio. Do weight lifting and cardio. Both are important for health/longevity, and both help with weight loss. Taking up running really helped me get to a healthy weight.

I spent all of June in Japan and had really hoped that I would be able to buy clothes (finding petite clothes in the US is so hard), but all the clothes are super high waisted and completely shapeless. They will only work for women with no chest, no shoulders, and a long torso.... the exact opposite of my build. Even if I lost more weight and became a stick, I could never shop there. It must be very frustrating for you.
 
@prodigalson8523 GIRL, I FEEL YOU.

I'm 41f, 150cm, living in Japan. I'm Japanese, but grew up overseas and have been overweight pretty much my entire life. I was 73kg at my heaviest and I'm now down to 56ish. My lowest was 52 and I want to get back to at least 52 because the last kgs make all the difference on such a small frame!

The biggest thing to keep in mind is that so many Japanese people are malnourished. Not malnourished to the extent that they're going to die right away, but in the "I'm 160cm and my goal weight is 45kg so I'm going to only have one onigiri for lunch and a single serving of nabe for dinner" kind of way. And it is so. fucking. normalized. There's even a famous comedian who is known for only eating abura-age (thin fried tofu) and not even a lot of it. Nutritionists told her on a TV show that the only reason why she hasn't died yet is because the abura-age gives her just enough protein and fat to keep going... and the studio audience/other guests just laughed about it.

So yes, you're seeing all these petite girls walking around, but many of them have eating disorders to look that way so be careful about who you're comparing yourself to!

I think that you're on the right track re counting calories, weightlifting, and walking 10k steps/day. I would also track macros if it's not too overwhelming for you because you can lose too much muscle if you're not eating enough protein. Eating late won't hinder your progress - it's sheerly about how MUCH you're eating, not when. Have you logged all of your food? I was so shocked when I realized just how much I was eating in any given day when I first started my weightloss journey (well, my most recent, longest, and most successful weightloss journey - not the half-assed ones that I tried when I was younger!). I had no idea just how much one serving of peanut butter or cereal actually was and almost had a heart attack when I realized I was eating 5 servings in one go! If you haven't logged anything yet, I would suggest that you first start off by investing in a food scale (you can get them for like 2,000 yen on Amazon) and weigh/log your food to give yourself more context.
 
@callumdoherty Thank you for sharing your perspective!! I can agree now I really shouldn’t compare myself. And now I realize that my coworkers and others around me don’t have a healthy diet. Because of what you mentioned about time, I’ll be more considerate about the amount I eat with my partner at night. He been feeling guilty eating without me. He likes to do things together. Haha My partner and I have been starting to log all the food we have this week (kcal/Protein/ Fats/Carbs). He made an Excel sheet that’s easy to use.

I had cereal today and I regretted it haha. I’ll do protein banana shakes from now on.

The food scale is on my shopping list!! Forgot to get yesterday.

My cal intake so far has been 1200-1400 so far, but that’s because I cut out the chocolates, famiMart pasteries, and Frappes.
(The Frappes at Fami helped me survive my morning walks in 38C weather 💀)

You’ve been really helpful!!
 
@prodigalson8523 I’m from Singapore and am Chinese. Over here we are a bit more “westernised” so the super skinny culture isn’t as deep so not as many women are super skinny. However we are still heavily influenced by k-pop so getting to very slim status is still a goal for many women including some of my friends.

Growing up I had a lot of unsolicited advice from friends, relatives, aunties and colleagues. I followed their advice and it led to nowhere honestly. My weight yo yoed from overweight to normal to skinny for years and I always went back to being overweight. It was a constant cycle. I was following their diet tips and exercising. It led to nowhere because my willpower ran out. I could not stick to the exercises I did not enjoy in the first place.

I no longer wanted to hear unwanted advice from others. I still do get passive aggressive comments nowadays when I mentioned I strength train and how much I eat. No, I am going to pursue fitness my way and on my own terms. It’s amazing how self-love can change one’s perspective: I used to think that I really hate exercising but it’s not. I just didn’t like what I was doing or was being influenced to do.

I am the fittest I have ever been and have been maintaining for years now. It’s also amazing that when you are fit, you will want to continue being fit and enjoy being active. I really enjoy moving my body( I honestly can’t sit still for long) and all fitness things related. I’m game to try them out.
 
@prodigalson8523 The time you eat doesn't impact weight, just overall calories. Of course, unless it triggers a behaviour change - like if a late dinner sets you up for late night snacking or people that eat more if they have breakfast. But ultimately, it's total calories.
 
@prodigalson8523 I am also about your height (152m) and was 79kg at my heaviest during my darkest of times. Came to Japan at 65kg and the first couple of years I cycled everywhere (15km+ a day) to save money. I had a budget of 300-500 yen for food everyday so that also helped my weight loss and I yoyo’d between 56~63kg constantly. Only as of recent did I naturally dip to keeping a constant 52-54kg because I picked up running at the gym to replace my resistance training while reading scientific articles for my capstone.

I fell in love with running and as I heard of the Tokyo marathon, me and my partner both applied. We’re awaiting results, but regardless of the outcome I will continue my runs.

I also used to compare myself to the smaller framed girls all the time and being stuck in Japan during the pandemic did not help. However, when I did get to visit the Netherlands last January, it opened my eyes to how distorted my views on myself are. I have started on working on loving my body more and prioritizing fitness level and how clothes fit on me over the scale.

Hope you’ll find your rhythm and means to stay active while also bettering a better dietary regime that works for your longterm health goals!

(Ps. Also Saitama girl over here!)
 
@triceratops Whoohoo!! Saitama gals unite!!

Thanks for sharing your experience!!

I hope you get into the marathon!! That’s wonderful you have found a way to enjoy exercising. Hoping to enjoy Ring Fit Adventure and nuobell weights haha
 
@prodigalson8523 The ultimate dream is to have a dedicated gym room in the house someday so we cut down our gym costs tbh. But time will only tell if that dream is viable. Until then, goals of what I can do will be more motivating than just goals focused on aesthetics only.

You go girl!! Hope you have the wedding of your dreams 💕
 
@triceratops A gym room can be done! My partner and I are renting a house, so his remote work area is also a weights and bench press area haha
He goes on about not wanting a gym membership. I almost got one for Anytime Fitness. So expensive! >
 
@prodigalson8523 I’m also in japan, early 30s and in the 70-75kg range, but I’m 158cm.

The pressure is so hard! And it’s been hell trying to lose weight with my desk job and zero free time lately.

I started dating a guy really into fitness recently so maybe I can convince him to help me like your bf 😂😂

I’ve been focusing on upping my fiber and protein and seeing small results recently.
 
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