25F / 110lbs / 5'4 hungry and in need of advice!

Hey ladies, so long story short i'm recovered from anorexia (i was 81lbs), joined the gym (i've been lifting for about 3 months now) and my goal is to have more definition on my abs and gain more muscle.
The thing is, calculators say my TDEE is around 1660, but i've been eating this much and still feel RAVENOUS. I'm always hungry and having a lot of cravings and my strength decreased A LOT.
I'm afraid to eat more and gain unnecessary fat, since i don't have much muscle to have a high TDEE. I go to the gym 5-6 times a week but still can't lift too heavy (i don't have enough strength) and take about 6k-10k steps a day. Is there any chance that my TDEE could be any higher than that and that's why i'm so damn hungry? What do u ladies think i should do? I'm scared to bulk because i still have some fat covering my abs and i don't think i could handle a cut given how hungry i'm all the time.
 
@stosa Yeah, it's not the same as someone trying to lose or maintain weight loss, and I don't think you should be counting calories in anorexia recovery at all.
 
@eternum That depends on the person and mental stability. Some psychologists and nutritionists actually recommend calorie counting for people who are not emotional when tracking .. especially in the beginning as people who have had eating disorders have skewed hunger signals so when they eat intuitively they severely restrict . Tracking in the beginning can be very useful in order to ensure 3000-3500 calories intake. If there’s an irrational fear of counting then it’s imperative to see a dietitian who specializes in Ed. They will give you visual estimates of what 3000 calories looks like plated with sensible snacks and meals so that you don’t have to count yet still meet sufficient nutrition. Otherwise you are very likely to never really recover or prolong recovery. Very few people truly recover long term on their own: just to clarify it can be done but it’s quite rare to see long term recovery without the aid of a dietitian and therapist
 
@stosa Sorry, I'm no expert and that makes perfect sense. I just worried about the OP and such a low calorie intake. That's how much I would eat to lose weight. Either way I think expert help would be useful.
 
@eternum Which is why I said 3000 calories minimum. Many Ed recovery books out there recommend this as a MINIMUM so not sure why the downvote. Eating more than enough is essential for full recovery
 
@anactualchildofgod How are you calculating your TDEE? Are you accounting for your exercise? Because your TDEE of 1660 does seem low to me, especially for someone exercising so much.

If you want to gain muscle you'll need to be in a surplus (and typically some fat will come with it - but minimal if you eat clean). If you want to gain muscle while losing fat then you can eat at maintainence but it will be a slower process. You won't gain muscle in a deficit though which it sounds like you are in.

Maybe try increasing by 100-200 calories up to about 1700/1800 per day and check your strength gains after 2 weeks to see if you've made any progress?
 
@zekavica i always calculate it as "slightly active", since i don't lift heavy i fear i may overestimate my energy expenditure during workouts. Do you think i may be miscalculating?
Thanks for the advice! i'll definitely try to increase my intake.
 
@anactualchildofgod Yeah from what you have described I would say you are at least "Moderately Active" if not more. If you increase it I think you will notice a difference, especially in strength gains. I would try that and then adjust again in 2 weeks if need be (i.e. increase again if still feeling very hungry and not getting stronger in the gym).
 
@anactualchildofgod First of all, I hope your recovery is going well and huge congrats on the gains!

Secondly - I wanted to ask whether you might consider intuitive eating rather than calorie counting? I've heard it said that for people recovering from anorexia, calorie counting can sometimes be a bad idea. If you stick to whole foods, with a focus on high protein intake, hopefully it will help you feel satiated and to develop a good relationship with food :)
 
@anactualchildofgod You should not be counting your calories at all during recovery. Extreme hunger is a very common side effect of recovery. You need to just embrace it and get it out of the way. The longer you resist, the longer it will persist.

You should talk to your dietician about your extreme hunger and they’ll be able to suggests foods to help.

This is not the time to be worrying about calories.
 
@anactualchildofgod Extreme hunge is normal in recovery from anorexia and can last a long time especially if you continue to restrict your calories.

Not that knowing it makes it easier!

I would try eating a bit more for a while, and remember your fat distribution is going to be off (as in different from how your body would normally sit) for ages due to the eating disorder as well. It does take a long for the body to settle down, the only way to not prolong that is to nourish yourself really well. And by ages it can be years not months but it doesn't last forever.
 
@anactualchildofgod Trust that if you feel hungry, your body needs food. I’m a similar height/weight and I notice that when I am relatively active, my body will adjust to and thrive on higher calories. Add slowly, and you’ll probably begin to feel when youve hit the right amount of calories. Pay attention to when you feel hungry too. You may benefit from extra protein closer to the times you work out, or may be able to add a few extra calories to meals you’re already eating. Sometimes one extra egg at breakfast or a protein shake solves the problem, and sometimes you really need to add another meal. I’m guessing you can eat a lot more than 1660. I’m usually suggested a little more than that, and I’m shorter and less active than you are. You might be underestimating your activity level when you use those calculators.
 
@anactualchildofgod Some people just have faster metabolisms…I’m 5’3, ~115lbs, and I am always hungry. I work in a male-dominated career field and easily consume more calories each day than most of them…it’s usually a topic of discussion because I am literally always eating. It may not last forever, so I’m enjoying it while I can! Maybe you just run hot too lol. But I think it’s all about balance. Just eat until you’re satisfied (not stuffed), eat healthy, and stay active.
 
@anactualchildofgod I have had a lot of success with WFPB (there’s a sub). I was struggling with bingeing and restrictive eating. After a year of a terrible existence, I tried this way of eating and I’m shocked how much I can eat. Tonight I ate an egg white omelet with a plate full of vegetables and beans in it (not WFPB but egg whites are pretty much all protein) AND a huge ass salad with a WFPB ranch that I wanted to bathe in it was so good. This entire meal was 450 calories and I enjoyed every minute of eating all of it. It was practically 2 plates of food (usually I do one). I keep saying to my partner “how is this real life??” I never understood WFPB could be so satiating. I’m amazed. I’ve tried this before and failed miserably. This time I have rice, potatoes and beans all cooked and on hand at all times. I eat a lot of starch to keep me full and happy.
 
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