Early morning gym goers, with family, how do you balance going to bed early with time for your partner?

[larrie59]

Also, are you waiting until your kid is in bed to clean the kitchen? Do it as a family. I spent time as a SAHM and fell into the trap of never cleaning until my kid was in bed or occupied. Now that I'm working again I'd rather have those few hours to myself, and I realized it's actually important that he sees what goes into maintaining a house.

 

[kashif1248]

@larrie59 I clean the kitchen as I cook. (my wife does not and it drives me nuts, but that's another story lol) so basically I always empty the dishwasher as I'm cooking breakfast in the morning, load dishes through the day and while I'm cooking dinner I put whatever I use in there as I'm done with it. I don't want to have to do things after eating. Basically forced this habit due to many years of having to run kids to various practices and now that they're in high school and I don't have to do that I keep the habit up.

 

[unbridledwild]

@dougnarg The balance is making more time for your husband at the expense of your morning routine. Pick a day during the week to stay up later and either don't workout in the morning or truncate it and spend more time together on the weekends. While exercise is something we have to build our lives around to some extent, it shouldn't ever be at the expense of our relationships.

I think it's also worth determining whether it's strictly a lack of time together or intimacy.

 

[chevycountry]

@dougnarg I just don’t work out early every day. I make my schedule each week so at least two days aren’t early or are rest days.
I also do all the cooking so my husband does the dishes ever night. Most nights we spend time together after the kids go to bed and he cleans the kitchen after I go to bed.

 

[stephensalazar]

@chevycountry Yeah I feel like none of the other posts in this thread take rest days into account. It’s not a huge stretch to program for 3-5 days in the gym and 2-3 days to rest/take advantage of more family time. Factor in more available hours on the weekend and things are much more doable in most situations.

 

[docrocks21]

@dougnarg Wow this is my life as well! The one thing that we made clear is that the gym is non-negotiable for both of us. I do my best to be engaged and present prior to bed time at 10. Then on weekends I try my best to offer more time to my partner for her to do things on her own! 5 year old as well! 5 am comes early so if we need to chat we need to get to it !

 

[bailamar]

@dougnarg We both split the chores to finish as much as we can as quickly as we can. We do things that make this easier, for example we started training our two kids to scrap their plate and put it in the dishwasher at the age of four. We cook and clean at the same time and together to minimize the clean up. Some nights we are just too tired to finish cleaning the kitchen and get to it the next morning. Either way it's time with each other even if we aren't relaxing.

We skip TV some nights for intimacy and sometimes we just cut off the TV at 9:15am (my bed time). She will lay there with me until I fall asleep and on occasion get up and go to another room if she wants to stay up.

9:15pm is a must for me because 4am is coming, and my wife knows this is how I manage my stress and health. Yes, I'm a lucky guy.

 

[queenenny]

@dougnarg 3 kids here. Wake up 5am to workout in my home gym. Asleep by 10 the night before. When it first started it was hard on my wife. All of it was really. The change in diet. Time etc. but now she gets it. I try to keep thing pretty exciting. Always hot in pursuit. Gaming her up and shooting my shot if you catch my drift. We spend special time together a bit more as soon as I get home from work nowadays and often, spend special time 2-3 a day in the weekends when we just have more time in general. The main thing that helps alleviate her guilt is I’m absolutely never butthurt or guilt trip her.

 

[trustjesus]

@dougnarg I mean he can wake up early and spend time with you then also. Why is it all on you to make it happen? If he’s the one who expresses not getting enough time with you then I feel he needs to also be one to rise to action and help meet his own need instead of having it handed to him and expecting you to make the sacrifice. Maybe he can join you at the Gym occasionally and go for a quick coffee after wards on the way home?

 

[candleinacave911]

@dougnarg What time does he wake up?

 

[dawn16]

@dougnarg My wife and I have had similar issues, for different reasons. She’s in school so often after she finishes dinner, she leaves me with the kids at the table. She goes to study, I clean up, get them showered and to bed, etc. By the time I have my gym bag packed and meals packed for the next day, it’s 9:30. I like to go to bed early because I get up early to take the kids to school and then work out. So if I don’t get some lovin’ at 9:30, it’s probably not happening for me being anxious about getting some sleep.

SO, as much as it sucks ti go down as ask my wife to stop studying, that’s what I’ve had to do. She doesn’t like it any more that I do, but that’s just life. If we wanna have sex, that’s how it’s gonna go until she finishes school.

I’d say that your husband needs to fit his couples time into your routine. You can try to accommodate, but ultimately for you to be a good wife, you need to get sleep and get your workouts in. Stopping you from doing that will only lead to other problems.

 

[doveinflight]

@dougnarg I go to bed at 10 and wake up at 5am to workout. My 2 year is in bed by 6:30-7pm. We have 3 hours in the evening and usually go to bed at the same time. My wife falls asleep on the couch and then plays on her phone in bed for hours. Drives me nuts.

 

[kaiisbae]

@dougnarg I stay up later than I want to most of the time to spend time with her. I still get about 7 hours of sleep since I go to the gym around 6:30. But I’m also a stay at home dad and don’t shower often

 

[dawn16]

@dougnarg I leave for work at 430am

So morning workouts don’t work

Since having our son currently can only make 2x full body workouts a week work

I go after work for 2 hours then I go home and we switch and she goes for her workout

It is what it is we’ve both been training for long enough we can maintain on 2x a week till our home gym is finished

 

[pansantamiko]

@dougnarg I found it easier to switch the gym to after work. When my kids were toddlers, I took them to the gym with me because they had a child care service, this was a MUV fitness. My wife would prep dinner while I was at the gym and we would eat when I got back.

With COVID I set up a home gym, and the routine is basically the same but the kids are older and don't need to be monitored while I'm working out

 

[davis32123]

@dougnarg Home gym is where we work out together.

 

[rooha]

@dougnarg I live on less sleep. I rarely goto bed before 11 and I’m up at 5 for work daily.

 

[picturemebroken21]

@dougnarg We just both go to bed early, try to be asleep by 10 (rarely happens) and get up at 5. We have a 2yo and 2mo. My wife used to be a night owl but since having kids she’s now a morning person so it works for both of us.

 

[romanticcode]

@dougnarg My husband knows that early morning gym time, and early bedtime during the work week is non negotiable for me. We don’t have children, but due to our work schedules, we only spend about an hour together on work nights (I go to bed much earlier than him). However, we make it a priority to spend Saturday nights together (we both usually work Saturdays), and Sundays together.

 

[rae29]

@dougnarg I don't balance. I go to bed. Full stop. Wake up before the kids. Water, Coffee, creating. Get the kids food ready for school and leave