Feeling like I don't look like I workout

@seaweed09 I used to deadlift but I don’t anymore because I felt like it was putting too much stress on my back. I was DL 225 as my mac when I stopped. I’m not sure what’s telling about that?
 
@hendricks62 I've been going to the gym and lifting religiously since around 2016, a couple days ago I was talking to a co-worker and they asked if I knew what a squat was :|
 
@hendricks62 I’m 5’4 and 145 lbs, and my lifts are about the same as yours. I definitely think I look more like I workout than the average person, but I’m certainly not jacked or anything. However, if I get a few pounds below 140 lbs I start looking pretty ripped up top. I like looking like that, but I don’t like how I have to eat to achieve it!
 
@hendricks62 I have felt the exact same way :) I lost weight and now I both feel AND look fit. From bmi 26,2 to 22,8, 10 kg loss. For me, it has been amazing losing a bit of weight. Ofc this is not right for everyone, but if you are not happy about your body and have the mental health to make different food choices (eating less) I say go for it.
 
@hendricks62 Same!!! I do more cardio (endurance running) than strength training (otf, silks, climbing) so maybe I look more skinny fat. Definitely not ripped though bc I love food and food loves to cling to my midsection lol. But oh well...I know I’m strong and can run for a long time and that’s all that matters to me! :) oh, and my clothes still fit which is also very important...can’t go too off the rails with the diet or I’d have to buy new pants 😱
 
@hendricks62 I relate. I have been working out my entire adult life and look dough-y. I've stupidly just recently realized that it's because of my fat layer. I won't look fit if fat is covering the muscles.

I'm petite and don't look chubby but my body fat isn't low enough to look defined. So, my goal now that I've recently turned 50 is to look buff for the first time in my life. 🎉

I'm counting calories and making sure I get at least 100g of protein. 7 lbs down - who knows how much more to go - but I'm starting to see definition and it's exciting!
 
@hendricks62 There’s no one way to work out and people look different depending on all sorts of factors, including genetics (bone structure, fat distribution, potential to build muscle), diet, exercise, etc. I think the media definitely skews our perceptions of fitness. Most girls on Instagram are genetically blessed with a certain type of figure, maintain low levels of body fat through their diet, lift bodybuilding style, etc. Similarly, before I started working out, I always received comments from my dates (all were actual athletes) that I was in “great shape” and must be working hard at the gym when the reality was that I was weak af, had terrible endurance, and ate nothing of nutritional value (I was just slim with extreme proportions). I certainly remember foolishly thinking that fitness came in only one image, but I’ve since come to see it in a variety of shapes and sizes.
 
@hendricks62 I think it’s also a height thing. I’m your height, and I have tried and tried lifting heavy and I never ever look muscular. We have longer muscles across our longer limbs and it’s just harder to look defined without significant dietary changes (which I personally wasn’t into).
 
@hendricks62 I bet you do "look like you work out". People who are fit move differently, have a different confidence when picking something up or just getting out of a chair (though after leg day... confidence might be the wrong word lol). Being shredded isn't the only way to "look like you work out". I used to play rugby, for 8 years. We had skinny girls, small girls, tall girls, big powerful girls, you name it, theres a position for your body type in rugby. The difference between when they were new, and when they were fit and game-ready wasn't in how visible the muscles were, it was in their response time and ability to sustain a movement. At your dimensions you would maybe be a lock or on the back line, and anyone would hesitate to say "well she doesn't look like she works out" with you running right at them about to tackle their asses.

Anyways, I get that what's most important is how you feel about yourself, but you probably look like a strong badass to most people. You're being your harshest critic. Try not being harsher on yourself than you would be to a good friend that you respect and care about.
 
@hendricks62 I feel this. When I was a teenager, I was a competitive gymnast and I trained 20-30 hours a week. I definitely had levels of strength that I can't really imagine right now. There was a while where I could do a fair number of muscle ups! But I never really looked like an athlete or had visible muscle definition, like my teammates did. Just my body type I guess.
 
@hendricks62 I’ve worked out for years but always had a layer of fat covering my hard earned muscles. Then I got my wisdom teeth out and lost about 7 pounds the week I couldn’t eat solid food. Suddenly everyone was telling me, you look so great! You look beautiful! Etc. It honestly was so hard for me to get back to eating regularly because I was mind fucked. I had lost more weight that week not eating than I had in all the time I was dieting and exercising. Dont worry, I’ve gained it all back and more.
 
@hendricks62 Honestly you may not be eating enough to support muscle growth. 2200 calories seems very low for someone with your stats & training intensity. Depending on your age & the exact intensity of your workouts, a standard TDEE calculator would put you between 2400-2700 calories. You may just not have very much muscle mass despite being strong (that OHP!!!).
 
@dawn16 That was my thought too (in addition to all the valid points others are making about how social media has warped our ideas about what fit women look like, etc). Growing muscles big enough to be visible at a healthy/non-fitness model level of body fat requires a bunch of FOOD, not merely a sensible amount of protein. Can't make something out of nothing. 2200 calories is probably just keeping the lights on for her with 9 hours of intense exercise a week.
 
@alan Yeah, I always think this whenever the topic comes up. If you eat fairly normal, you'll look fairly normal.

My muscles are quite visible with chubby levels of body fat. If I lift my hands behind my head lounging about on a zoom meeting, my shoulders and biceps pop out and look big, and have been noted. My thighs stick out past my knees standing relaxed. If I flex, muscles pop everywhere. I love big muscles, but I also love being soft, so I've got both of them going on lol.

I don't track food, but I eat a lot. If I get fast food, my favourite is a quadruple baconator, adding up the nutrition info it's 1900 calories. I consider a box of mandarins, or a dozen apples, or 3+ pounds of blueberries to be a snack. A normal breakfast is two huge fish sandwiches, or 3 cups of cooked oatmeal, and I eat 2 plates of dinner.

And I intend to continue getting a LOT stronger and bigger.
 
@carolsheats I have a reclining office chair and like getting comfortable if I'm just listening, but it's also a really good position for my shoulders and arms to make their ever increasing size known lol!
 
@alan This was also my first thought. Growing visible muscle requires significant bulking. A few years of “recomping”will make someone look better but it won’t grow the muscle mass needed for that “jacked” look.
 
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