Feeling like I don't look like I workout

@hendricks62 this is really silly advice in face of everything else that's been said here, but I totally felt like that too until I started doing bodybuilding poses in front of the mirror a few times a day LOL it's just nice to get visual confirmation that my muscles, in fact, do exist.

About 16 months ago I weighed what I do right now (but with less muscle) and freaked out and decided to go on a 14-16 week cut, just to realize that I didn't have enough muscle mass to really look good at that weight even though I wasn't necessarily weak (85x5 bench, 155x5 squat, 200x1 DL @ 118lb). I think going through all that helped me stop putting so much focus on appearances so I could eat and train in a way that makes me happy and supports my strength goals. It's okay if someone passing by you on the street wouldn't guess that you work out; if they saw you in the gym they'd know.

p.s i saw your comment about deadlifting and back pain and I was wondering if that's the case with sumo too?
 
@aussie77 I honestly really haven't tried sumo before! Do you think it's better on your back? Also yah this is my fear of cutting is that I would look even weaker with no muscles lmao
 
@hendricks62 Oh yeah sumo is much easier on the lower back!! I think it's worth trying out at least once to see if it's comfortable for you. Since you've been going to the gym consistently since 2016 and since your lifts are what they are, it does seem like you'd have a good amount of muscle definition if you were to cut. At the end of the day you seem very healthy and strong so there's no need to rush the decision or do a long cut if you decide you want to end up doing it. I do agree with all the other comments saying that you should consider getting around 120-150g of protein especially if you do decide to cut since that will help build/preserve muscle mass.
 
@hendricks62 I feel like I don't look like I work out. I've been working out since July 2018 pretty much every day and lifting for about 2 years. I used to watch my diet quite strictly but now I eat intuitively at around 2300 and approx 100g protein, but I'm not tracking it so that's just a guess.

The thing is you probably do look like you work out and you just don't realise it. I went on a date with a personal trainer and he said I absolutely look like I work out and he can tell I'm in great shape? When I'm thinking I just look "average" or normal.
 
@hendricks62 For whatever it's worth, last summer (I think?...a while ago anyway) I was complaining to a coworker that I felt like I worked really hard but I didn't feel like I looked like I worked out. She completely disagreed with me and told me I definitely did look like I worked out and I was kind of crazy if I couldn't appreciate it, haha.

So, it's entirely possible that you don't think you look like you workout but people around you definitely do. We are rarely the most objective judges on what we look like!
 
@hendricks62 Chiming in as another tall person (5'11/176lbs) with what I guess is an 'atheltic build'. No one can tell when I gain or lose 20 lbs (maybe in my face) but otherwise even I need to be completely buck naked to tell any difference. I'm wondering if this is the same for you? Our builds are just different!

I can tell I've gained muscle when I'm posed, but not when relaxed. Imagine my surprise when I finally measured myself to realize I have a 33in waist and I was like ah, that's why I don't look 'tiny' despite beefing up my shoulders lol. It's definitely a bummer! But I'm still happy with my progress, and it seems you are, too.
 
@mese0478 Yes! I feel like when I'm relaxed you can't tell at all but yes when I flex you can tell a bit obviously. I definitely think the height could be contributing to me seeing my body like this
 
@hendricks62 My diet is shit but I work out twice week and work in retail. My deficit just isn't enough to actually show some change and it's kind of hard to make peace with that. But it's the action that counts, not the look.
 
@hendricks62 Yup. I feel just like this. I’ve been active since March of this year. I lost 10 pounds and slimmed down a lot (I’m 5’2, so the weight loss was really visible), but I’ve been trying to gain muscle since the summer time and I’ve been in a caloric surplus for two months. Ive only made visible gains in my hamstrings. My glutes are also more lifted, but other than that, all I can see is fat gain. Quad muscles? Nope. Glute gains? Nope. Abs? HA! I trained abs 2-3x a week for 3 months and made 0 progress. The lack of visible muscle gain is really starting to bog down my motivation, especially since ive really been struggling with 2 jobs and being a full-time student. I know muscle gain takes a lot of time, but I can’t help but feel like I’m doing something wrong when I see so much progress in other people whose timelines are similar to mine. It makes me feel like I’m not training efficiently, despite the fact that I educate myself as much as I can. When I was running and doing cardio often, I was training 5-6x a week but once fall semester came along, I had to cut my training down to 3-4x a week. I’m not sure if this has something to do with it, or if I don’t have enough volume/getting enough sleep, I dont know. But I’m feeling pretty dysmorphic seeing fat gain in my middle region and no muscle, despite getting the necessary amount of protein that I need for my height and weight each day.
 
@hendricks62 Once a friend asked me “show me your 6 pack!!” When I protested that I don’t have anywhere close to a 6 pack, she said, “but you work out every day.”

Anyway I showed her my stomach and she was very disappointed.
 
@hendricks62 By "looking like you work out" sounds like you mean "looking like you have really low body fat and tons of visible muscles."

If you pay attention, people who are fit DO look different - even if they're not very lean.
 
@hendricks62 I dealt with this a lot a few years back. I'm a PhD student who had a tendency to stress eat my first 2 years of grad school. As a result, I put on weight. I'm also a personal trainer, and when training clients, I was so self-conscious because I felt I didn't look the part.

However, the thing that kept me going was realizing that the look of ripped abs and chisled arms says more about either your genetics or your ability to cut by restricting calories. It doesn't say anything about your strength, coordination, or knowledge. Having a six pack doesn't make you any stronger than someone who doesn't have visible abs. Think about what strongman competitors look like. They're some of the strongest people around, but they typically carry some extra fat that hides some of their muscle mass. Keep doing what you're doing! I've learned to value ability over appearance, so try looking at it that way. Nice numbers, by the way 😀
 
@hendricks62 The fact you listed Bench/Squat/OHP and not DL may be telling (half joking here), but the real question I have is...don't look like you workout compared to what?

Every fitness model you see not only (very likely) takes steroids, but also (definitely) has had the pictures /videos you see edited, has make up on, is being viewed only from flattering angles, knows how to pose, etc.

The important thing to remember is THEY DON'T LOOK LIKE THAT EITHER.
 
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