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Getting a gym membership today and I’m already anxious and embarrassed
- Thread starter joanie59
- Start date
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- Tags
- female fitness
@joanie59 Imy first experience at a gym when I was 18 was horrible. I had a promotional free week. So I went in and was assigned a training. I was a real skinny kid, but thought I was pretty strong. I told the guy I some experience. Well he put me through a very fast, very heavy weight circuit. I ended up in the bathroom, dry heaving. I heard him follow me into the bathroom laughing. I was really mad and embarrassed. I ended up getting him suspended for a while. I have always had great experiences ever since, but I'll never forget the first one.
@joanie59 I'm wondering if this is a symptom you have of social situations in general, where anxiety and overwhelming overthinking spins you out.
Proud of you for facing your fears and taking action.
A few things that help me:
First rule to remember when you have social anxiety is everyone is far more concerned about themselves than they are of you.
Second, allow NO ONE in this world to disturb your inner peace and inner belief in yourself. If they don't add value to your life, anything they do or say isn't worth wasting your priceless time on.
Third rule don't give people who do nothing for you any power over you.
Fourth rule, give yourself permission to take up space.
Fifth rule: looks, words and attitudes only hurt if you apply meaning and take it personally. If you take nothing personally it just bounces right off.
Sixth rule - be like jello! Retain your good nature and your fearless childlike wonder and optimism, its contagious!
Time is the most valuable thing we are given. How much time have we wasted giving it away to worry, overthinking and anxiety?
The follpwing low value people aren't worth wasting time on (narcissists, jerks, thieves, cons, abusers).
Proud of you for facing your fears and taking action.
A few things that help me:
First rule to remember when you have social anxiety is everyone is far more concerned about themselves than they are of you.
Second, allow NO ONE in this world to disturb your inner peace and inner belief in yourself. If they don't add value to your life, anything they do or say isn't worth wasting your priceless time on.
Third rule don't give people who do nothing for you any power over you.
Fourth rule, give yourself permission to take up space.
Fifth rule: looks, words and attitudes only hurt if you apply meaning and take it personally. If you take nothing personally it just bounces right off.
Sixth rule - be like jello! Retain your good nature and your fearless childlike wonder and optimism, its contagious!
Time is the most valuable thing we are given. How much time have we wasted giving it away to worry, overthinking and anxiety?
The follpwing low value people aren't worth wasting time on (narcissists, jerks, thieves, cons, abusers).
@joanie59 Hey I'm glad it all went well. It is overwhelming to do something new when you don't know your way around the place or who is going to be there. But you're here now. I find it helps to really focus on why I'm there and what my goals are. That way I'm less likely to get distracted by others. Hope this helps. Welcome to bro life. Just kidding I'm lady. At any rate, best of luck!
@joanie59 are you planning on only doing cardio? or will you lift weights? because if you will lift weights in the future try to watch YouTube videos on how to do the exercise. I used to be scared af to go to the gym without my bf because i had no idea what i was doing, but now that i know how each machine works im not scared anymore
@joanie59 Hi there! There have been a plethora of wonderful responses here, so I won’t go too into detail on some of the things others have mentioned, though I may state some related information.
As many others have said, (and I have social anxiety so I can completely relate) please don’t worry about sounding “dumb” at the gym. Back when I was in college (as long ago as up to last year), I worked at a gym. Not once did I ever think anything negatively about a prospective member coming in, unless they were a jerk to me for no reason. Actually, many of my new members ended up in wonderful conversations! I took several people on a tour that casually mentioned that they haven’t been in a gym ever or very few times, and that they don’t know how to use much of the equipment. Usually, when you are trained to give a tour, it’s generally noted on the tour which machines have explanations on them...however, no one is perfect and sometimes this can be glossed over, especially if the employee is alone and people are piling up at their desk, so if they don’t mention it, ask!
Even very fit people who have never been to that location before received a tour. Occasionally I did have some people that had been a member before, cancelled, and wanted to sign up again, so those were really my only exceptions to giving tours (and for the record, I asked them directly if they wanted one or not since they were familiar with the gym).
Additionally, many gyms will offer a free PT session with a trainer establish your baseline, quickly go over your nutrition, and run you through some exercises to see where you stand. If your gym does offer this, take yourself up on the offer! There isn’t anything to be ashamed of, and while this is a nice offer to the member (surprisingly, most people did not want this free session when I worked there!), they should treat you well, without trying to rope you into any sessions, for the record. The members I signed up that did take this session were often those that were anxious about being in the gym and unsure of using the equipment. It helps to familiarize you with the layout of the gym, as well. For the record, occasionally I’d have regulars that would not know how to use a piece of equipment so they’d ask me, and I never thought anything of it!
I completely understand where you are coming from with this. As many others have stated, most people are focused on their own workout, and only make themselves aware of you if you are close to them, so they can make sure everyone is safe and nothing interrupts their workout. To this day, even though I’m familiar with gyms, if I ever go to a new location of the chain I frequent, I take my boyfriend with me because I get anxious about not knowing the layout of the gym...but once I go once, I’m fine. If you have a friend or anyone who can even just buy a pass for the day (if your membership does not allow you to bring a friend), then bring a person with you, so you can have someone to comfort you while familiarizing yourself with the layout. Then there’s always the classic “get yourself some nice headphones” advice, which does work! Most people are too focused on their own workout to notice you. You may occasionally see a jerk or someone obnoxious in the gym, but the vast majority of the time, most people are very friendly. Most people tend to ask if you’re using a piece of equipment before sitting down to use it, or will ask to work in, or even apologize if they happen to get into your way or something. Most people are very friendly at the gym. If you are paying for your membership, you have the same rights to be there than anyone else who does.
I also suggest (if it allows with your schedule) starting out at your gym at less crowded times, which at many places is early in the morning at opening (weekdays), from 12-2 (weekdays), and very late at night toward closing (most, if not all days). On weekends, early afternoon tends to be a bit less crowded. I still really only go toward less crowded times to this day, but having less people around lessens anxiety and will allow you to get things done either faster (to get you out of there) of slower (to allow yourself to take as much time as you need on equipment).
As others have said, if any gym staff treats you horribly, leave and find another gym. Gym staff will not dislike you unless you are a jerk, and trust me, the highlight of working at a gym is all the close friendships you gain. I still talk to several of my regular members regularly, and when I set foot in the location I worked, someone tends to recognize me and start a nice conversation (though this is the reason I never go to that location anymore, because people tended to talk to me so much I couldn’t get my workout in!). The employees LIKE talking to the members and creating relationships. One of the employees at the gym location my boyfriend attends will ask him about his progress, the weight he’s lifting, and will often spot him when he’s there to workout himself. Same with the other gym staff. Many gyms have a very “community” feel to them! I can really only think of a small handful of members I disliked, and it was really only because they were either entitled, nasty, or they’d leave eight plates on the leg press and never re-rack their weights on their way out at close.
Best of luck to you on your new journey! Please let us know how everything went! I’m so proud of you for going out, facing your anxiety, and signing up for a membership! You have all our support here!
As many others have said, (and I have social anxiety so I can completely relate) please don’t worry about sounding “dumb” at the gym. Back when I was in college (as long ago as up to last year), I worked at a gym. Not once did I ever think anything negatively about a prospective member coming in, unless they were a jerk to me for no reason. Actually, many of my new members ended up in wonderful conversations! I took several people on a tour that casually mentioned that they haven’t been in a gym ever or very few times, and that they don’t know how to use much of the equipment. Usually, when you are trained to give a tour, it’s generally noted on the tour which machines have explanations on them...however, no one is perfect and sometimes this can be glossed over, especially if the employee is alone and people are piling up at their desk, so if they don’t mention it, ask!
Even very fit people who have never been to that location before received a tour. Occasionally I did have some people that had been a member before, cancelled, and wanted to sign up again, so those were really my only exceptions to giving tours (and for the record, I asked them directly if they wanted one or not since they were familiar with the gym).
Additionally, many gyms will offer a free PT session with a trainer establish your baseline, quickly go over your nutrition, and run you through some exercises to see where you stand. If your gym does offer this, take yourself up on the offer! There isn’t anything to be ashamed of, and while this is a nice offer to the member (surprisingly, most people did not want this free session when I worked there!), they should treat you well, without trying to rope you into any sessions, for the record. The members I signed up that did take this session were often those that were anxious about being in the gym and unsure of using the equipment. It helps to familiarize you with the layout of the gym, as well. For the record, occasionally I’d have regulars that would not know how to use a piece of equipment so they’d ask me, and I never thought anything of it!
I completely understand where you are coming from with this. As many others have stated, most people are focused on their own workout, and only make themselves aware of you if you are close to them, so they can make sure everyone is safe and nothing interrupts their workout. To this day, even though I’m familiar with gyms, if I ever go to a new location of the chain I frequent, I take my boyfriend with me because I get anxious about not knowing the layout of the gym...but once I go once, I’m fine. If you have a friend or anyone who can even just buy a pass for the day (if your membership does not allow you to bring a friend), then bring a person with you, so you can have someone to comfort you while familiarizing yourself with the layout. Then there’s always the classic “get yourself some nice headphones” advice, which does work! Most people are too focused on their own workout to notice you. You may occasionally see a jerk or someone obnoxious in the gym, but the vast majority of the time, most people are very friendly. Most people tend to ask if you’re using a piece of equipment before sitting down to use it, or will ask to work in, or even apologize if they happen to get into your way or something. Most people are very friendly at the gym. If you are paying for your membership, you have the same rights to be there than anyone else who does.
I also suggest (if it allows with your schedule) starting out at your gym at less crowded times, which at many places is early in the morning at opening (weekdays), from 12-2 (weekdays), and very late at night toward closing (most, if not all days). On weekends, early afternoon tends to be a bit less crowded. I still really only go toward less crowded times to this day, but having less people around lessens anxiety and will allow you to get things done either faster (to get you out of there) of slower (to allow yourself to take as much time as you need on equipment).
As others have said, if any gym staff treats you horribly, leave and find another gym. Gym staff will not dislike you unless you are a jerk, and trust me, the highlight of working at a gym is all the close friendships you gain. I still talk to several of my regular members regularly, and when I set foot in the location I worked, someone tends to recognize me and start a nice conversation (though this is the reason I never go to that location anymore, because people tended to talk to me so much I couldn’t get my workout in!). The employees LIKE talking to the members and creating relationships. One of the employees at the gym location my boyfriend attends will ask him about his progress, the weight he’s lifting, and will often spot him when he’s there to workout himself. Same with the other gym staff. Many gyms have a very “community” feel to them! I can really only think of a small handful of members I disliked, and it was really only because they were either entitled, nasty, or they’d leave eight plates on the leg press and never re-rack their weights on their way out at close.
Best of luck to you on your new journey! Please let us know how everything went! I’m so proud of you for going out, facing your anxiety, and signing up for a membership! You have all our support here!
@mostjolly Such a lovely response, thank you so much! This makes me feel much more in peace with it
meisisijesu1
New member
@joanie59 We all start somewhere. I was just as anxious as you were. I had a membership to 24 hour fitness so I went really late at night when no one was around so I could get acquainted with the gym. When I got more comfortable, I started going during normal hours. It’s scary until you realize everyone is there to better themselves and no one gives a crap what you’re doing. Also don’t be afraid to ask for help if you need it.
enduringjourney
New member
@joanie59 Im so sorry about your bad experience in the gym! I know you've heard this a lot, but usually people in the gym only focus on themselves. Im pretty sure if there are some assholes in the gym who laugh at you, you can tell them to the gym owner or one of the gym staffs and they'll take care of this. And for the machines, to reduce your anxiety you can start watching youtube videos on how to use them. You got this, good luck!
@joanie59 Usually, 99% of the people at the gym are focused on themselves and their workout. When I workout at the gym, unless you are within 2-3ft of me (and may potentially interfere with my workout) or you're doing some wild & wacky shit (like slow dancing the macarena on a bench or shouting EASY BAKE OVEN while during crunches-both are real examples), I am unlikely to notice you. And even when I do, it's limited "huh" and then back to ignore. If I am staring at you, it's far more likely that I am trying to remember if that was set 3 or 5 and the look on my face is due to combining squats with math, not judging you.
Having said all that, some people are jerks. Part of their workout includes making themselves feel better, that they are fitter/faster/stronger/whatever than everyone else by making fun of others. It's likely that their doing this to compensate for their own insecurities, as the fittest people in gym are generally too focused on getting fitter to worry about anyone else. Easy to say, but harder to believe when you're walking through the gym and hear someone snicker or call you names.
Since you can't change their response, start working on changing yours. Everyone is at the gym to get better, so if you feel unfit well then duh-you belong at the gym. Be proud of taking the first step to improving your health! Invest in some headphones and build an awesome playlist to keep you focused on your workout. And maybe take a class or hire a personal trainer to help build your confidence in what you're doing with your workout. But don't let other people stop you from improving yourself.
And the gym staff has seen much more embarrassing stuff after 5 mins in the locker room than you signing up for a membership (why people feel the need to air dry parts of themselves with a hair dryer in public, I'm not sure). They want you to feel comfortable and be a long time member. So walk around on the tour and ask the question you think is dumb-if you get a bad vibe, go to another gym! Part of the fun of fitness is learning new exercise or finding new machines and figuring out how they might fit into your routine. Embrace the learning curve and don't let anyone throw shade on your growth!
Edit: also keep in mind, how impressive a workout is 100% relative. A 3km walk on the treadmill for a 200lb person on their first day in the gym is a lot more impressive than a 5km run for a fitter person who regularly runs 10km.
Having said all that, some people are jerks. Part of their workout includes making themselves feel better, that they are fitter/faster/stronger/whatever than everyone else by making fun of others. It's likely that their doing this to compensate for their own insecurities, as the fittest people in gym are generally too focused on getting fitter to worry about anyone else. Easy to say, but harder to believe when you're walking through the gym and hear someone snicker or call you names.
Since you can't change their response, start working on changing yours. Everyone is at the gym to get better, so if you feel unfit well then duh-you belong at the gym. Be proud of taking the first step to improving your health! Invest in some headphones and build an awesome playlist to keep you focused on your workout. And maybe take a class or hire a personal trainer to help build your confidence in what you're doing with your workout. But don't let other people stop you from improving yourself.
And the gym staff has seen much more embarrassing stuff after 5 mins in the locker room than you signing up for a membership (why people feel the need to air dry parts of themselves with a hair dryer in public, I'm not sure). They want you to feel comfortable and be a long time member. So walk around on the tour and ask the question you think is dumb-if you get a bad vibe, go to another gym! Part of the fun of fitness is learning new exercise or finding new machines and figuring out how they might fit into your routine. Embrace the learning curve and don't let anyone throw shade on your growth!
Edit: also keep in mind, how impressive a workout is 100% relative. A 3km walk on the treadmill for a 200lb person on their first day in the gym is a lot more impressive than a 5km run for a fitter person who regularly runs 10km.
byrightpaths
New member
pitcreature
New member
@dlnott78 This is such good advice! I’m a regular gym-goer and it was still nice reading this. One more thing to add, try going very early in the morning or very late at night when the gym isn’t busy. It’s less intimidating when there are few people there. You can even ask the front desk people what the least busy times are.
@dlnott78 You have just reminded me of the one guy I remember from the gym. He was hanging from the lat pull down machine with his feet in the air, presumably trying to do doing pull ups but just flailing. It was comedic, but definitely a good reason to do the induction and learn what the machines are for.
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