Help a busy dad stay sexy?

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grandslam

New member
Hey y’all,

I’m a busy dad with newborn twins (with colic and reflux) and a toddler. Pre-twins I wasn’t super strong but I was proud of it. V9 boulderer, strong 1arm pull-up, 20 1arm pushups, pistol +45 lbs., love barbels but never got serious because of constraints. 5’9”, 173 lbs, 35.

Time is tight. I am not training much and probably will never train that much again. I’m back at work at a demanding job, sleeping 4hrs a night, every shower is a huge victory. But my waist has gone from 32 inches to 35 while my weight is the same. I’d like to curb the backsliding but I’m not sure how. Really want to get back to fitting in my jeans and looking good.

Calorie counting apps have always been super time consuming, and so I’m hesitant to use them at a time when I’m trying to spend less time on my phone and more time with kiddos. (I’ve never done a great job counting, I eat pretty well but have never tracked macros for long.) Is that the answer, because I’m not sure how I will find the time? I carry a notebook everywhere, so food journaling seems more doable but idk if it’s helpful. Is the answer more willpower? What have other people done? I should have more time soon to start lifting 3/week for maybe an hour.

I could believe that the answer is just to bite the bullet and track. But looking for advice.

Thanks so much!
 
@grandslam There are times in your life when your priority can be to get shredded, and their times in your life when your priority should be to fulfilling your obligations (like, to your kids and partner, but also to yourself through basic self care).

First things first is sleeping enough, and eating right. Four hours a night is not enough sleep, for basically anyone. And I think you probably know what I’m going to say about Oreos (or other processed foods, or worse- alcohol).

Get your sleep in order. This will help you manage your stress. Managing stress right will let you resist cravings for eating garbage. Eating right will give you the energy to start introducing workouts that target your goals. And if your goals are to fit back into your jeans, your workouts should focus on big muscle groups with appropriate intensity. (This might look like “cardio” but it doesn’t have to be long, steady state cardio like endurance athletes train. If you want to jog with a stroller, great. If you have an exercise bike, treadmill, erg machine, battle bike in the basement, also fine.)

Getting your heart rate up consistently (30 min a day?) has the added benefit of 1) helping you sleep better and 2) helping with stress, so it’s a virtuous cycle.
 
@aijeleth24 RE Sleep - did you miss the part about new born twins? It's still good advice, but might not be applicable for another few months (depending on how 'newborn' they are).

OP, you'll get there. Give yourself some grace during these next few months.
 
@xeno32 The point is that the priority needs to be sleeping. If OP finds himself with a spare 30 minutes, he shouldn’t be trying to sneak in a workout. He should be using it to sleep.
 
@aijeleth24 Phew, needed to read this today. Even with a 4 year old we’ve had what can only be called a real run of crap luck the last 3-4 weeks and exercise has totally fallen off - exhausted, anxious, low on sleep, and relying on junk food. Cheers for the reminder dude, I’m gonna start at the top and rebuild when everything is back to where it should be
 
@grandslam Busy busy busy. Tracking probably is the best path forward, but it can be simplified. When I am overly busy I eat the same one or two meals for breakfast, the same one or two for lunch, and the same snack/protein shake, leaving dinner as the only meal to actually invest any brain power in/have flexibility. I make sure the routine meals have me in spitting distance of my protein target but otherwise I don’t get bogged down in the macros. I just ensure dinner doesn’t blow out my target calories and it can be whatever you and your family are sharing.
 
@grandslam Good question. I had to think about how I arrived here. Like lifting you start broad and with poor form, and in no time it’s second nature. I started with legionathletics calorie counter to get a starting target on tdee(I’ve never bought a product or agree 100% with his advice but overall some good tools and articles on the site). Weigh yourself and over weeks adjust your calories higher or lower a couple hundred if it doesn’t trend the way you’re hoping. I have perfectly fine results using 0.8 grams protein/lb body weight/day to set my protein target and it keeps my meals palatable. So with the calorie and protein targets figured out, I did use the free version of myfitnesspal and a trial of MacroFactor to help figure out my routine meals and get familiar with macros and calories in food. I found it is easier for me to leave just under half my calories for dinner. It allows that meal to truly be whatever and if it undershoots on calories I have a routine dessert of Greek yogurt and fruit. I abandoned the apps once my routine meals were established since it becomes “I have the same calories left for dinner, and same grams of protein to reach my lower limit of protein” every day so all you figure out is how many calories is dinner, and is there room for dessert today? This is what works for me, you need to tweak it to suit your situation but I hope it gives you some ideas of how to make tracking less cumbersome although you do need to invest the effort up front
 
@grandslam Eh, my adherence was so bad with the apps that pen and paper/reading labels did more for familiarizing myself with food than they did. I like the concept, just couldn’t get into it and they don’t convey all the details for micros as clearly as the label.
 
@lilyheart Those things are kinda skills and can be learned. I’m not jacked or anything. You see some ripped people in this sub including yourself you freaking beast
 
@grandslam Like others have said, take them on walks as much as you can. My Littles loved going on walks when they were younger, and walking is a great way to get out and burn calories and great on mental health as well.

The only thing that I have found that helps me now is waking up at 4:30 in the morning to get to the gym. Honestly, it’s the only time I have and at first I hated doing it but now I look forward to being a morning person, whereas before , I was never able to wake up earlier than 7 AM unless the babies were awake. If you can do something like that it’s also great but I understand they wake up early with possible colic and twins is a completely different dynamic as well. Good on you for trying to find different ways to stay fit in healthy. I wish you the best!
 
Also, I’m sorry about mentioning waking up early. That may have been a little insensitive because I realized after I wrote that you are only getting four hours of sleep. And sleep is definitely a necessity to living a healthy lifestyle so I am sorry if I offended.
 
@dawn16 Not insensitive at all! I think this is key dad advice and that’s my normal routine. These kiddos have so health problems that mean our sleep is actually great considering our circumstances. I expect to start sleeping through the night in three months. Things are on the upswing
 
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