How do families with young children find the time?

R

ryspi76

New member
I’m very overweight; I’ve surfed weight consistently.
My most recent surge of activity was swimming 4-5 times a week - often leaving my partner either solo with the kids in the morning, or essentially not seeing her / spending quality time together some nights

With a one hour commute each way to and from work.
I have a 7 and a 4 year old.

The kids start school at 8:20am; I arrive at work and 9:20am, leave at 5:20; home at 6:20 - leaving one hour with the kids (who are at their worst) before bed time.

I want the gym to be an “us” activity we can do together. It’s quality time, and we’re more likely to be consistent if we keep each other honest.
I just don’t know when we’re going to find the time.

Kids that age in a gym crache 3-4 times a week seems cruel - as if they’ll enjoy ur for a week then hate it…..

When am I supposed to do this?!
 
@ryspi76 Options:

Go to bed at 10, get up at 5, gym until 6:30, come home and help before work.

Go on weekends. You have time.

Gym child care twice a week, and once a week go to the gym alone, and your wife goes alone once.

Run outside around your neighborhood for 30 minute stints, you won't be gone that long and won't be much missed.

Weight is really about your diet, but exercise will also extend your life. Make time for it and set an example to your children that exercise and health and wellness is something that life is actually about, it's not something that you just try to fit in in the cracks around the edges.
 
@luisesvelle Cannot overemphasize the diet impact as a parent. It takes 0 minutes of your time to eat a calorie deficit and lose weight. Anecdotally I’m 215lb man in my early 30s and it still takes me a good 45 minutes (not counting gym commute time) to burn the same 500 calories that takes 0 minutes to just not eat by reducing portion sizes at meals.
 
@luisesvelle Does anyone Wii fit anymore or jump rope? Hop skotch? The old agility courses using ladders, dots, and low bars? We still have public “work out” equipment near playgrounds and parks that have ellipticals, rowers, bars, etc. 4 years old isn’t too young to learn how to ride a bike or rollerblade or skateboard. I’d suggest trying to make it a family thing - walk to the park and let the kids run around. Do a HIIT body weight workout with your spouse, then finish it off with some fun “races” with the kids. Who can skip/bunny hop/frog hop/bear crawl/crab walk to the tree the fastest? If manageable, use the kids as weights. Bench press them, swing/carry them for a kettlebell thrust or goblet squat, give piggyback rides.

Talk to the kids about goals, even nutrition basics. Have a fitness goal (50 push-ups or a sub-40 5k) and weight goal (# lbs by X date). Ask them to help remind you or get involved (like ask them what 3 veg/colors should be on your plate for dinner). Track and share your progress. Heck, even incentivize it for them - if mommy and daddy meet their goal, we can all do a movie night! Bonfire! Zoo! Bowling! It might be easy to give up on yourself, but stick a cute picture of your family near your goal sheet/phone screen saver and it ain’t so easy to disappoint them.

They don’t need to be dramatic changes. Build up tiny habits that will all contribute over time. Start taking 1 stair each day during lunch (like just go and do a step-up). Then 2, 3, a flight of stairs, 3 flights of stairs, etc as you build up. Have 1 single cube/slice/leaf of vegetable on your plate each meal. A kernel of corn or slice of zucchini. Eventually you’ll add more. And if the habit doesn’t work for you? Fine, change it. Do 3 squats every time you flush the toilet. 3 calf raises every time you wash your hands. Hamstring stretch while you brush your teeth.
 
@luisesvelle Totally agree. You definitely have time in there to do it. You have to make time for it. One thing I’ll say is it’s hard at first but once you get into a routine you won’t want to miss your workouts. I look forward to that time because it’s me time. I can really just throw on my music and lose myself in the gym for a while. It always makes me feel so much better mentally and physically. I also have an hour long commute to and from work. Leave the house at 6AM and home by 4:30PM. Come home spend time with family and any house chores I have to do. My kids are all older now but when they were young we’d have them in bed by 8:30-9 then I’ll hit the gym for 60-90 minutes 5 days a week. I honestly like to do it all during the week and then enjoy my weekend with the family or work on home projects. It’s all about getting a routine down.
 
@ryspi76 Do bodyweight exercises at home in your living room. No equipment needed.
If you have the TV on, you can do 15 minutes worth of squats, lunges, pushps, sit-ups. Start on your knees if you need to, only squat to half it you need to.

I also have a long commute, and two kids in sports across 3 counties, and I work 50-60 hours weekly, and I'm in school. And I have a hundred pounds to lose.

I have a kettlebell in my office. I do 10 reps before I sit down.
When I'm at the printer I do a squat for every document I scan. I do a squat for every page I print.

When you're starting out, it doesn't really matter what you do as long as you do something, and build consistency into your day
 
@ryspi76 Used equipment->Home gym. That’s what I did, anyway. The added bonus is the kids can see me in there, which is an example of positive behaviour, and they can join in whenever they feel the urge (within reason, of course). Beyond that, there is no travel time, and I never have to wait for equipment 😉

You can do a lot with a decent set of resistance bands and an anchor. Black Friday is coming, so keep an eye out for deals on used equipment as people upgrade and/or replace their gear. Then early to mid February will be a good time too. That seems to be about when people start to give up on their “new year, new me” resolutions and try to recoup some of their holiday spending by unloading some equipment. At least, that’s how I built my gym so far 😉
 
@healthchristian They would generally be playing with their toys, reading, playing in the yard, doing whatever chores they have been assigned, watching a television show…Pretty much whatever they would normally be doing with minimal supervision. It did tend to extend my workouts when they were younger and more needy. But now they are 9 and 12 and pretty much take care of themselves when I’m in “The Workshop” 😎
 
@ryspi76 Can’t speak to making your wife buy into the plan, but your weight is primarily determined by diet. Add 30 min of cardio every morning, waking up at 6am, and you will be well on your way. You have time.
 
@ryspi76 Workout at home! I’ve gotten pretty far with working out at home to Sydney Cummings and Caroline Girvan on YT for free. And getting where you’d like fitness-wise is 80% built in the kitchen - I eat whatever fits into my macros, and it’s been great so far. It takes two weeks to build a habit, so keep at it!
 
@ryspi76 I wake up extremely early (3:30-4:00) twice a week so I can work out before the kids wake up. I have a 5 and a 3 year old. My husband hits the gym after I get back and then goes straight to work. We also have a family membership at a Y with childcare, so usually on Saturday mornings we can work out together. My kids actually love the childcare at the gym!
 
@ryspi76 Can you get yourself a piece of cardio equipment, an adjustable bench and adjustable dumbbells?

Once the kids go to bed you can workout together, one does cardio, while the other does weights, and then alternate days. 30 minutes a day. Cardio or weights, rest 1 day a week. Make the workout area as fun an inviting as possible.

Or maybe you both get up earlier than the kids and do it in the morning? Just pick a program that is as time-efficient as you can make it.

To your point, I've always hated swimming for general conditioning, it's just so impractical for so many people. Great for some people, at certain points in their lives, or people with pools, but otherwise, it doesn't seem great.
 
@ryspi76 If my kids (8, 5) didn’t have to be at school until 820 I’d workout in the morning. I drop off my kids at 720 and depending on how much work I have, either go straight to the gym or go work for an hour and then get to the gym by 10.

Regardless of what you do, it’s a commitment. Dying young is more cruel to your wife and kids than taking them to crèche or leaving them with the wife.

Also, you can always just eat less and go on walks. Take the family along. You’ll burn as many calories as most other forms of cardio. Walking is underrated.
 
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