@oikonomia Well... I dunno if this resonates with you at all, but I think a challenging part of freeing ourselves from the beauty standard is that there's nothing to replace it with.
Like, you might know you feel better not drinking, less heavy, with less makeup--but since we're inundated with cultural messaging about the kind of woman we're supposed to be physically and socially in order to be "hot," when we start to give that stuff up, we... feel less hot. It's not that we're actually less hot, though. It's that we don't have a story to tell ourselves about the new, different kind of hot we are.
I bet you're super fucking hot, tbh. You mean you're not hung over 3 days a week, not puking on your friend's porch during a party, spending time on self-awareness and personal development outside of trends, and developing muscles to fill up your frame? That sounds hot as hell! That's exactly the kind of woman I want to be!
Maybe you just need some positive comparisons here--what do you like about wearing less makeup, drinking less, and making these other changes in your life? What could you do now that you couldn't do before? If all you're doing is negatively comparing yourself to the women who are living the way you used to, yeah, I bet that feels pretty bad... but you made these changes for great reasons, so it might be time to learn how to take those reasons more seriously!
Regarding your friends: Maybe mute or unfollow them temporarily. If all their posts are doing is giving you FOMO or making you feel bad, it might be time to focus your attention elsewhere. Followers don't translate into money, fitness, or mental peace. They're just anonymous eyeballs from strangers. You already know chasing that kind of stuff with a hard-partying lifestyle has made you unhappy. Refocus your energy on something that does!
I really admire you for being so willing to shed the go-with-the-herd mentality.
Like, you might know you feel better not drinking, less heavy, with less makeup--but since we're inundated with cultural messaging about the kind of woman we're supposed to be physically and socially in order to be "hot," when we start to give that stuff up, we... feel less hot. It's not that we're actually less hot, though. It's that we don't have a story to tell ourselves about the new, different kind of hot we are.
I bet you're super fucking hot, tbh. You mean you're not hung over 3 days a week, not puking on your friend's porch during a party, spending time on self-awareness and personal development outside of trends, and developing muscles to fill up your frame? That sounds hot as hell! That's exactly the kind of woman I want to be!
Maybe you just need some positive comparisons here--what do you like about wearing less makeup, drinking less, and making these other changes in your life? What could you do now that you couldn't do before? If all you're doing is negatively comparing yourself to the women who are living the way you used to, yeah, I bet that feels pretty bad... but you made these changes for great reasons, so it might be time to learn how to take those reasons more seriously!
Regarding your friends: Maybe mute or unfollow them temporarily. If all their posts are doing is giving you FOMO or making you feel bad, it might be time to focus your attention elsewhere. Followers don't translate into money, fitness, or mental peace. They're just anonymous eyeballs from strangers. You already know chasing that kind of stuff with a hard-partying lifestyle has made you unhappy. Refocus your energy on something that does!
I really admire you for being so willing to shed the go-with-the-herd mentality.
