How to calm down after weight loss?

[birdinmypalm]

For context, I’m 5’1” and started at 175 lbs, currently at 134 lbs. I’ve been stuck in the 130s for the past 6 months, but I’m assuming it’s mostly muscle since I think I’m still losing weight (i.e., pants I bought a month and a half ago are already way too big.)

To lose weight I have been counting my calories and ensuring I get plenty of movement in my day. However, after doing this for a year and a half I really want to dial it down. It’s exhausting counting my calories every day and hyper focusing on if I can make it to the gym or not, and honestly it has been so annoying that every month I have to buy new clothes since nothing fits. Privileged problems, I know, but I’m hoping some other women can shed some light on how they changed their habits after losing weight.

For me, I think I have hated my body for so long and felt out of control over my weight, that counting my calories/tracking my workouts and liking how I look has finally let me feel in control of my body. So now I am so scared to stop counting my calories/ miss a workout here and there because I don’t want to feel out of control and gain that weight back. The only way I know if I can have a little snack or how much of it is due to counting my calories, so I’m worried without counting I’ll have no idea if I’m going over or not.

Anyone else been in my shoes? I’ve been loving this fitness journey and do not want to stop eating well and working out, but I just want to calm down a bit. Like today I’m going to brunch and all I can think about is how I’m going to record what I eat and if I can squeeze a gym trip in…

Also, if anyone has pants/shorts recommendations lmk! I’m buying a new size every month and currently nothing fits my curvy body type.

EDIT: I know I should eat at maintenance, I’ve been hovering around/just under that for a bit. I just don’t want to track my calories anymore! It’s exhausting

 

[jeanjason0209]

@birdinmypalm Are you still eating at a deficit right now? If so try an intentional maintenance break for a few weeks - it will be good for your mental health, probably good for your body, and will be good practice for the rest of your life. Experiment with the more flexible maintenance calorie budget and see if you can eat more intuitively within it - I feel like we get really out of touch with natural hunger and satiety cues when we are eating to a strict budget, both feeling like you have to eat everything you’ve planned and like it’s never enough. It takes a while to tune back in to what your body actually needs and wants. The increased energy might let you have better workouts and be more active all day!

Work on building the habits now - you can restart the cut any time but you’ll have a much softer landing when you decide you are “done” with weight loss.

 

[birdinmypalm]

@jeanjason0209 This is a really good piece of advice. I was eating at a 500 calorie deficit and once my plateau started I changed to just a 200 calorie deficient, out of fear of going back completely to maintenance lol. I think you’re right a good stepping stone could be tracking at maintenance, although I wish I could just stop tracking at all. But like you said, it’ll help me be more intuitive and hopefully understand my body and hunger better. Thanks for the tip!

 

[prayer_warriorinprogress]

@birdinmypalm I think also if you have some set meals that you know the calorie and nutrients content of, that you eat regularly, you can move to not tracking those. So you might not track breakfast and lunch but track your dinner. Then slowly move away from that to not tracking. Your weight might also go up momentarily from eating more but it is usually water weight that will settle down

 

[birdinmypalm]

@prayer_warriorinprogress Love this idea - at this point I eat essentially the same breakfasts/lunches regularly, but dinners and snacks can fluctuate. I will def try to incorporate this!

 

[jeanjason0209]

@birdinmypalm I think not tracking is totally possible! For me, it only works if 1) I am eating whole foods most of the time with enough carbs and protein and fiber and thinking of calorie-dense food as treats; 2) if I’m really paying attention, stopping when I’m satisfied (not full!) and not eating when I’m not hungry; and 3) if I’m staying pretty active with a high TDEE. The first two are hard in a modern food environment full of hyperpalatable foods and constant social pressure to consume and is really where building sustainable habits and lifestyle is important.

I would actually suggest that you just stop tracking partially or even totally if your nutrition is overall good and you have a lot of fatigue around counting, or move to a daily journal without weights and numbers as an intermediate step that keeps you on top of your diet quality without white knuckle counting. Stay consistent with activity and keep track of your measurements/weight so you can adjust as things change. If you find that not tracking makes things go off the rails then you know you need to build more habit infrastructure.

 

[birdinmypalm]

@jeanjason0209 You're absolutley right, if I'm not going to track I need to follow what you said. This weekend I tried to "not track" aka at the end of the weekend I went back and guesstimated what I ate, and when I don't count beforehand I absolutely eat past the point of satisifed. It'll be a hard adjustment but one I'll have to make if I want to dial down the constant counting.

 

[jg_lrd]

@birdinmypalm If you haven't lost weight for 6 months, you probably are at maintenance already, so keep that in mind.
Breaks are good, IMO... Even if you gain a few pounds back, I think it makes it easier.

 

[elephas]

@jg_lrd I have been stuck in the early 160s for months now exercising counting deficit seriously stressed though so does anyone think it’s that or have any other opinions on this it’s very depressing and distressing.

 

[birdinmypalm]

@elephas I hear you, I've been stuck in the 130's for 6 months even in a deficit, eating high protein, and consistent exercise. I think I really do need to go back into mainteance, and even maybe gain a couple pounds back, and then go back into a deficit. I've heard your body slowly starts to adapt when you're in a deficit, which is why you need to "reset" by giving yourself more calories for a few months. But I have been too scared to try it, lol

 

[elephas]

@birdinmypalm Omg right I know tweaking things but it’s like this 20 pounds is cemented to my body I was in the early 140s and I’m fine with that just want to get back there I’m having a lot of fluid retention from my med condition it’s just SO distressing I’m also try to exercise more I’ve been walking at least a few miles every day mixed with some strength stuff that I wasn’t doing I’d love to switch with you 130s a dream lol

 

[elephas]

@birdinmypalm Can I ask how you dropped to the 130s from 175 if you don’t mind??

 

[birdinmypalm]

@elephas Absolutely!

In the past I had tried to force myself to do cardio (which I hated) and try diets like keto or low carb and of course none of it ever worked. So February 2023 I did a full mindset change. The two biggest things were 1.) being mindful of my food, and 2.) incorporating movement I enjoyed.

I knew restricting myself in terms of food would not work for me. So instead I used one of those online calculators to figure out what a deficit would look like for me, which was just over 1300 calories. I decided to not cut out food, but instead eat within that deficit and try to add more veggies/fruits/etc.

I became very mindful of what I was eating and found meals that would keep me within those calories. For breakfast I did lots of eggs and turkey sausage, lunches I would do wraps or salads, dinners I would really do whatever. Like if I wanted pasta I would get protein pasta, add a protein (usually chicken,) and put a salad at the beginning of the meal to help me fill up. If I wanted pizza, I had pizza! I just added other things to the meal so instead of eating 3 slices of pizza I would have 1 slice and veggies or a salad or whatever.

Substitutions was a huge part of my journey! If I wanted a wrap, I used low calorie wraps. I bought low fat shredded cheese, low calorie ranch, etc. The main thing for me was eating a large protein source (I like chicken and salmon) and then whatever else I wanted, being mindful of how many calories I was consuming and using low calorie substitutions to be able to eat more.

The other half, like I mentioned, was finding movement I enjoyed. I joined a new gym and quickly found that I liked doing group classes. I hated slugging myself to the treadmill or elliptical and forcing myself to move for like half an hour, it was boring and painful in my opinion. Now I regularly do cycling classes (I still don't love cardio but doing it in a group helps me enjoy it!) and my favorite is bodypump, which is a class that uses light weightlifting with a lot of repitions. It has helped me developed muscles and feel stronger than I ever have! I know these are very specific recommendations - I think the lesson here is to figure out what types of movement you enjoy and can be consistent with.

Oh, I also used the app Lose It! to track my calories, monitor my protein intake, and record my weight. It has been a really long journey with lots of learning opportunites - I am happy to talk more if you are wondering anything else!

 

[elephas]

@birdinmypalm Omg ty SO much for all of that info. Idk if you mentioned but how long did it take you? I just started making sure I walk every day and I used to hate it but now I enjoy it and am going to start going on my Peloton again in the morning. I think that’s what caused the weight gain I was in the best shape doing that 2 to 3 times per week and working out in the morning before work. I keep trying to go back to the things that got me there. Did you use walking for movement how much walking do you think at a time for a good calorie burning session?

 

[birdinmypalm]

@elephas I started this whole process in Feb 2023, so it's been about a year and 3 months. I hear you, you really have to find movement that you enjoy doing so you can stay consistent. I often go for walks! If I'm going on a walk on a day that I did not work out I try to make it longer, usually at least an hour. It sounds like a long time, but you can always break it up into smaller walks throughout the day! Def would reccomend finding music, a podcast, or audiobook you like and only listen to it during your walks - it'll encourage you to walk more so you can listen to it!

 

[elephas]

@birdinmypalm Funny too I do the same thing with pizza a slice or two but always try to have salad with it and I do like the idea of salad before dinner. I just read that somewhere and I was trying to do it consistently.

 

[tobyp]

@birdinmypalm I think it would be good for you to just take a break and eat at maintaince for a while.

Also find new fitness goals that aren't weight related. Strength goals like x number of push ups, bench x amount, do pull ups, etc. Or an endurance goal of cardio for x amount of time. Or speed goals for cardio.

A lot of times people get caught up in gym time is your punishment for eating. And you get sucked into this meal is so heavy I need to burn these calories off.

Try to refocus exercise as, "this will help me squat heavier" instead "I feel so fat for eating that donut I need to hit the gym".

The nice thing is, if you lost weight once, you know what works and how to do it. I lost 75lbs before covid. My mental health went to shit during the pandemic and by the end of 2022 I had gained 50lbs back. So in 2023 I lost those 50lbs and I'm now 100lbs down from my highest weight. You know what you're doing. It will be ok.

Also for clothes, it used to be thrift stores but they've gotten so expensive lately. Most of my clothes come from places like TJ Maxx and Ross. I also luck out at Kohls with their clearance and Kohls cash.

It's more expensive but there are several clothing rental companies that you could just rent some nice pieces for events. That way you aren't buying dress clothes that you know wont fit you again next time you have to go to a wedding or go on an interview.

 

[marieflore]

@birdinmypalm i’m 5’3” and plateaued at 130 pounds. months of it. i refused to eat less than between 1,200-1,300 calories with the occasional birthday party or work function on the weekend (so 2-4 days a month around 1,700-2,200). the answer was exercising even more. in addition to the 3x per week weight training, i added pilates to every single day that i wasn’t weight training and increased walking. this wasn’t a burden to me, i love pilates! i stopped weighing myself for a few months. i did this week, and it was 122! 120 was my goal.

 

[elephas]

@marieflore I just started walking at least a few miles every day hoping to break my plateau

 

[birdinmypalm]

@marieflore Wow, that's great! Love to hear that you pushed through. I'm in a similar boat, maybe I can incorporate more walking in my day along with exercise but I don't have too much more time to dedicate to adding more exercise to my typical day.