I’m mentally weak

[eternaldragon]

I (F29) started crossfit I think February 2023, initially I was going 2-3 times per week and then I decreased to 1x weekly due to different health issues, and also because I do other activities.
I never did sport in my life until I started crossfit and I really liked it at the beginning. I found it extremely challenging but empowering and also I saw my improvement in strength, stamina and endurance which was satisfying.. however I have an issue that is not improving, which is the fact that even after so long, I still struggle a lot with the WODs. Most of the time I can’t finish them, and my weight is always below average. Typically im one of the worst of the class, and I try to not focus too much on that. But the problem is that im weak, for others they may think im physically weak (which is true), but I believe my biggest enemy is my mind. Even before starting the workout I feel I won’t be able to do it, during the workout I feel like im dying. Often I give up or go much slower and I believe my body could actually push through but my mind says “no you can’t”. This is especially in high intensity workouts, and with cardio. I thought by just continuing going this would improve but it didn’t. Was anyone in a similar position? Do you have any recommendations?

I also have to add that I have an autoimmune disease and i think my fatigue could be a factor on why I have less energy than others.. but still believe a lot of it it’s mental

 

[renewedfaith]

@eternaldragon First off: Comparison is the thief of joy. Stop comparing yourself to other people. You do you.

Second off: We all are struggling in the workouts. We’ve all been there. Everyone walks into some workouts doubting themself and giving up mid workout. It’s supposed to be uncomfortable. Embrace the suck and be thankful for the results. It’s a long game but you’ll get there.

I’ve recently been going through some mentally challenging times and a friend of mine who is also my coach related it to lobsters… The lobster is always growing but its shell is not. There becomes a point to where the lobster starts to get very uncomfortable in its shell so it goes to safe place to shed its shell in order to grow a new one. For the lobster the discomfort is actually a sign of GROWTH! If you want to grow mentally and physically seek out what is uncomfortable!

Lobsters

 

[jameszo]

@eternaldragon Listen friend. In 2008 or so when I first started it was me and 3 housewives (i was about a 47 year old dude at the time) doing some workout at our small gym in Loveland ohio.

I shit you not. I was still trying to finish and these three gals were coated-up and leaving. I distinctly remember hanging from a bar trying to do “knees to elbows” and they were out the door.

Since then, I went on to compete at the CrossFit games 4 times. How? I just kept showing up.

Keep showing up. Do the work. Make every rep clean and perfect. Skip nothing. Avoid the temptation to short reps to catch up to the crowd.

Every squat below parallel, every wallball touches the target. Every chin over bar, etx.

Scale as necessary to keep the intensity level as prescribed by the workout. Trust yourself

Fuel properly. Hyrdrate. And keep showing up. Your fitness will catch up.

 

[vmikelash]

@jameszo I just started about a month ago and had a similar experience, except that the 5'2 lady beside me was super pregnant and went on to destroy me (I am 6'6) in both time and weight. This is encouraging.

 

[dezydezunashamed]

@eternaldragon I like to set small goals for my workouts. “Run this 100m and then I can walk” however when I get there I say, “you know that fire hydrant doesn’t look that far away. I’ll just run there and then walk. Oh look at that, I’m almost to 200m I’ll get halfway and walk. Etc…” I’ve slowly leveled up. Sometimes I walk sure but it’s improvement

 

[firedup]

@eternaldragon I coached many, many years ago and we had an athlete with almost the same challenge you have. It was actually very disappointing and depressing for us staff as well as her usual classmates whenever she didn't show up because we knew why she didn't. She felt and expressed that she was "slow, inadequate, and always felt like she was never making progress". In short, we simply created a scaled version for her that truly made the workout an easy flow for her. She of course still couldn't help but notice the difference in how much her WOD was scaled when comparing to other athletes but the point was that she was actually showing up and simply MOVING.

To add context, our average class size was about 5-10 members.

 

[marcmp]

@eternaldragon Mental toughness is a skill to be trained like anything else, just keep trying any you will get better. Real key is not to be too harsh on yourself - don't compare yourself to others and don't fixate on one or two bad bad sessions. If you can push yourself just a tiny bit more with a little consistency then progress will come.

 

[windblown24]

@eternaldragon Many days, I look at the WoD and think “I guess today is one of those days where I just worry about keeping moving.”

It was 2 years before I could climb a rope. It’s almost 3 years and two days ago I strung together 3 double-unders for the first time. I still don’t have a strict pull-up.

Like someone else said, you’re ahead of everyone who didn’t show up!

I know you need more than a pep talk but you are not alone and you got this!

 

[carleranie]

@eternaldragon There’s a very fit female at my gym that ALWAYS scales and does alternate movements. She’s been doing CrossFit for years (probably since it became a thing to do). She doesn’t GAF. She does her thing. There’s nothing wrong with that.

 

[osc_100]

@eternaldragon I’m a few years younger than you and have had similar medical issues. I got into CrossFit in 2016 and dropped off in 2020 Covid since my gym closed down. After a few years I’ve come back and realized CrossFit is really not a healthy workout for my medical issues/situation. I would recommend you try low intensity workouts, I’ve been doing calisthenics and trying to get into power yoga (I’m more a fan of weights so don’t do as much yoga as I should), but I realized low intensity workouts are just as effective and it is SO MUCH EASIER to have healthy self talk and be consistent. I’m not worried so much about my pace compared to others, or how good I could be doing, I just focus on doing it and at the end of the workout I’m surprised by how much I’ve accomplished. But I can’t do group workouts for that reason of comparison - it really does not help my self talk at all because I see other people further in their journey than I am and I should never hold myself to their standards. Just some food for thought, as it is now I think you’re doing great since you haven’t given up!!!

 

[sojchd]

@eternaldragon I have the worst self-talk, I look at how others are doing, it's all bad. BUT...

You can scale. Find the right moves/pace/distance for you so you're not redlining your heart. Absolutely no one will care if you did 6 calories on the bike instead of 10 or 12. Or if you did just the barbell instead of 75#.

Time caps. They are there for yours and my enjoyment. I have zero qualms with planning around the time cap. In fact, I like to think of it as, "Well, this way I'm definitely getting 15 minutes of workout in!"

And, lastly, just because others are cleaning up doesn't mean anything about your workout. It's hard to remember this but you're doing you. Yes, some people are more fit than you. Maybe everyone in your class is. So what?

Remember... We showed up and we did something, no matter how good we performed. That puts us ahead of 75% of the population.

 

[chuwee1980]

@eternaldragon I’m typically last in my class to finish and am constantly scaling, but I don’t care. I know I’m doing my best (or just moving my body which is sometimes all I need). If I see that I’m egregiously behind in a workout I’ll shorten things (running especially) so I finish relatively close to the pack, or if I’m extra dying I’ll scale more.

One thing that’s really helped me feel okay about doing that is having my Apple Watch heart rate zones displayed, so I can be like “okay well I shortened that run from 400 to 300 meters but my heart rate is pumping so obviously I’m still working hard.”

 

[sthanlyn]

@eternaldragon You're still fairly new to CrossFit, which is an intense sport to start, especially considering you said you don't have a sports competition background. It's totally normal to be last in a workout or not be the strongest one in class; everyone has been there, even if they're not new to the sport. Just focus on what you can do. Don't chase other people in a WOD, just focus on pushing yourself a little more than you did yesterday. As long as you do that and give your best effort, you will see improvement, physically and mentally.

As for the mental side, this is a tough one. Sometimes workouts are more mental than physical, for example, CHAD1000x. It's not a very challenging workout physically (it's no Murph or Fran), but the mental challenge of staring down 1000 box step-ups, knowing the only way out is through, can be very intimidating. In those times, you have to tell yourself that you can do it, you can do hard things, to just keep moving one rep at a time. If you don't, from my experience you won't give as much effort in the workout if you're telling yourself you can't do it, that it's hard, that it hurts. And that will only make the work harder and the workout take longer.

Mental toughness tip:
I first got into CrossFit after watching the Games documentaries, specifically the ones on the 2015 and 2016 Games. Also the old series "Road to the Games" on YouTube follows some of the athletes as they prepare for the Games. In the docs and the YouTube series, you'll hear some really great things from the athletes on how to sharpen your mental toughness. You'll get some great quotes and lines that you can say to yourself when a workout gets hard. One of the most influential quotes I remember from when I first started helped me greatly with the mental side of CrossFit. It was either from Katrin Davidsdottir or her former coach Ben Bergeron. It was something along the lines of, "if your thoughts were being played over the loudspeakers, would you be proud of them?"

Having little quotes, or inspiration from seeing Games athletes training and competing, that you can remind yourself of when WODs get tough could be a really helpful tool in gaining mental toughness, which is a necessity in CrossFit. Hope this helps!

 

[smokey3]

@eternaldragon WODprep.com has a mental strength online course for CrossFit. DM me if you need help finding it.

 

[crazyhouse]

@eternaldragon I have the same problem and also have autoimmune. I suggest 2 things.
1- talk to a coach about it. I got my own mini workouts for a while during the wod and it helped.
2- I stopped crossfit and started remote training with my coach. I went back to basics on what I enjoy (lifting). You see progress week over week and builds confidence

 

[miktay]

@eternaldragon Look up the "Mindset Matters Podcast" by Shelby Hildebrandt on Spotify. I have only recently started listening when I found her podcast a few weeks ago.I am still working my way through the episodes, but she does a great job talking about the emotional and mental struggles she's going through, breaking them down and discussing them. Really helping me with my own struggles of comparing myself to others when I should just be running my own race. I would give that a shot and see if it helps at all.

Edit: Spelling.

 

[midge121]

@eternaldragon I don’t know what kind of autoimmune disease you have but wanted to mention that I joined my CrossFit gym to cure my autoimmune disease. I had done some research and understood that the underlying cause of my disease is insulin resistance. In 9 months I have reversed the insulin resistance (by building muscle & lifting as heavy as I can). But the trick is consistently getting in classes. I noticed classmates that only go for a 1-3 classes per week talk a lot more about being sore and workouts being harder. So I started setting a goal for 4 times a week. Now I am symptom-free and my body has adapted so well to the routine and often attend classes 6 days in a week because I’m loving the results. But yes, the WODs are always a struggle and we are right there with you. Keep up the good work! You got this! Maybe you can reverse your health conditions like I did

 

[pelicansfly]

@midge121 Are these classes an hour long or shorter? Thanks. I am up to 3 classes and pretty sore, but 4-6 days seems like a pummeling.

 

[midge121]

@pelicansfly Yes they are an hour. It took time to work up to 4 but my coach said that people who go 3 days are usually more sore than those with more frequent attendance.

 

[kurtschisler]

@eternaldragon Thank you for posting this. Great to know I'm not alone and the comments have been super helpful. I'll echo what others and you have said: show up, do the work you can, and keep in mind you are amongst a tiny percent of the population who even try to do this. I keep repeating to myself "you're not dying, it just hurts" and that seems to help!