I [18F] kinda dislike going to the gym and being active and I don’t know how to fix it

@anylene I struggled for a long time trying to enjoy exercise until I discovered Les Mills classes. Now I’m a Les Mills instructor. There may not be any LM offerings where you are, but you can find strength, toning, and cardio group exercise where you are. A good mix of all three of these combined with proper nutrition and water consumption will help with weight loss.
 
@anylene 35F here. If I had to give my 18-yr-old self advice, I would say to her, "Find movement that you enjoy. That's it."

For some people, that's training for a half marathon (they like goals!). For others it's going to spin class (they want a workout that feels like going to a club). For some, it's kayaking or hiking (they want to be outside!).

Personally, I like yoga, hiking, gardening, occasional tennis, long walks with my dogs.... I only like going to the gym to lift with friends/my husband which I do twice a week and I only do it for the community (not really fitness goals).

Any movement counts!!! Just do what truly brings you happiness (and stretch more even if you don't like it... your 35-year-old self will thank you).
 
@anylene My wife and I were looking to get active but we had the same issues, gyms aren’t for everybody. She found a fitness coach on youtube - Madfit and we’ve been using her videos religiously since. She offers and app service with exclusive videos and health meal recipes but her youtube channel is packed with videos and they’re all at home based workouts, some minimal equipment required (free weights/resistance bands). I would definitely recommend checking her out if you are looking to stay active and maintain some comfort by staying home.
 
@anylene the mental state is harder then lifting any weight. Training your mind to be stronger then your desires or wants is the most difficult task you will EVER have. You have to find a way to motivate yourself, try different forms of exercise like hiking, biking, swimming, lifting. Switch it up. And when you finally start seeing results, trust me you will be hooked from there :))
 
@alesus2 And it doesn't have to be structured. Just moving more or challenging yourself in simple day life does help as well.

I do vertical push-ups using the counter while waiting for something to cook. I'll take stairs slowly two at a time, focusing on engaging the right muscles and being balanced. Purposely carrying a lot of groceries or something heavy.

Kids are crazy strong because they play and run and move their bodies in ways that, as adults, we don't do. But those movements are all super helpful in just being balanced, working different muscles, and overall fitness.

My addition to your comment(not really responding to you per say) is just being mindful of how you move and being more intentional in your everyday life can help move the needle as well.
 
@anylene I HATE cardio. I LOVE weight lifting. But what I've found I love even more is aerial arts. On a whim one year for my birthday I decided to try it. The studio near me offered a 3 pack of beginner classes. I tried aerial silks (not a huge fan, though I thought I would love it), lyra (which I absolutely adore), and a flexibility class that is geared towards aerial artists. I've also bit the bullet and tried a pole dancing class at the same studio. I am incredibly uncoordinated but have a blast every time. I'm still level 1 at most in Lyra and Pole, but I get out of the house, get active, and have fun. I have unexpected muscle, and more flexibility after every class.

I've continued going through cancer, surgeries, job changes, job loss.... It has taken 40 years to find something that I would do consistently. 40 years to find something that was FUN and I would do without needing a workout buddy. Keep looking for a fun way to incorporate fitness and movement in to your world.
 
@anylene I played so many club sports in college. Active video games, martial arts, basketball, flag football, soccer, softball, tennis, and rowing. And beer pong (nostalgic sigh.) I envy you.

Why am I just so jealous of you? Because college is a great time for you to play around with movement and find fun. Also a good time to see if your insurance covers a dietitian or similar services.

You can get active and discover all you're capable of. You can change your weight in a healthy way if you want to. Ask your gym buddy to try something with you. If she can't, just show up. And report back!
 
@anylene Staying active is important. The number on the scale is not really that important, but your cardiovascular health is, and I highly doubt that being at that weight is putting you in any imminent risk right now. There are other ways to stay active. Swimming, rock climbing, jogging, hiking, jump rope (my favorite! love learning tricks), dancing, weight lifting, etc. Whatever you enjoy doing so that you keep doing it. However ... it seems your struggle is the relationship you have with your body, and that is what is creating the barrier between you and exercise. I know it's a hard struggle, I've been there too. I still struggle with body dysmorphia at times. But if you can learn to treat exercise as doing what's right for your mind and body, instead of like punishment to yourself, I'm sure you'll find something to stay active and healthy. But it's easier said than done, I know. Please stop comparing yourself to others, like you said, your background is different, and you're different. So you can't compare yourself to impossible standards, because you'll never look like anyone else. Regardless, you're worth the effort to stay healthy. Best of luck friend!!!
 
@anylene I haaaaate the gym. I strongly dislike working out in front of other people (even people I like).

Walks outside, jogs outside, and some weights and bands at home works well enough for me.

I'm never going to get massively muscular from this, but it keeps me at a comfortable weight, my calves are fire, my heart rate is healthy, and I'm happy with how I look in a bikini (but very importantly - I count calories and practice CICO).
 
@anylene I hated going to the gym too, or just doing any sports. I thought me and the gyms just weren't meant to be.

Then I found crossfit and fell in love. I slowly siwtched to weightlifting and now lifting/weightlifting is part of my life and I'm in love.

You definitely do not have to do either of those things, but I would 100% suggest you try different activities, to find one that makes you excited. Ones that make you feel good about doing them, and not make you focus on the length of progress. You want exercise to be a safe space, not a zone of torture.

It could be things like yoga, or spinning, but also things like aerials or archery or tennis. Especially that you`re in a university, there's probably tons of clubs around that would allow you to try new sports, and see if one sticks.

My parents found pickleball and they fucking love it. They went from being decently active to now sign up for tournaments and events, and they do their thing 4x a week now. They trained before. My mom likes running and my dad has a gym in the basement of his house, but they've never been as excited about working out as they are now, every time they talk about pickleball.

I'd also suggest figuring out different time during the day. I hate morning training, I do best at around 2 to 7pm, so I tried to stay within those zones, otherwise it just doesn't feel good.

Also remember it takes about 6 to 8 weeks for you to feel and see changes. It takes time.

And if you want to physically change, you need to fix up your diet as well, which requires a lot of commitment, but just going to the gym will not be enough if your goals are physical/aesthetics. It is COMPLETELY okay if they aren't and you decide that you just want to gain the benefits of exercising. But if you do want physical changes, you need to change your diet as well.
 
@anylene I'm 40 and hate going to the gym. I discovered CrossFit in Nov of '23 and it's the first thing I've ever stuck to.

I don't have any self discipline, and I hate having to decide what I'm going to do at the gym, and CrossFit takes that decision away. You also can't go and just, half-ass the workout because there's a whole class of people doing the same thing as you, and you feel compelled to actually do it.

I'm down 35lbs, and finally below 200lbs. I feel better than I have in a long time, and my stamina is way up, and just doing things in general is easier than before.
 
@anylene I hate the gym, but I've been doing Chloe Ting exercises for a month now with just a mat and it's so fun!! Well, relatively haha. Her website lets you track your challenges, rate exercises, upload progress photos, add diary entries, and it even has achievements!! She also has healthy recipes, and encourages you to eat well and treat yourself nicely. The videos are all super calming and encouraging - even if you're struggling, she has constant reminders to just do your best and take breaks when you can.
 
@anylene I’m a gym girlie and I love it, but I have to say, it does absolutely nothing for me weight loss wise. Getting stronger and more toned yes, but whenever I do lots of HIIT or intense cardio (running or spinning) I just get super hungry! Best exercise for weight loss is walking I swear. If I’m trying to cut fat I just go for long walks in the sun with a podcast on. Puts me in a good mood for the day too! These days I try to think of the gym as more of a playground than punishment. I’m there to throw some heavy stuff around and have fun, not slave away on a treadmill! The more fun you have when you’re exercising, the easier it is to stick to long term.
 
@daptel Same here. I enjoy the gym with my podcasts and go consistently plus swim a couple of times a week but have not lost a pound. I don't gain weight either though, and my heart stats are great so there's that.

Years ago, when I needed to lose 35 pounds, all I did was walk (with a little bit of jogging thrown in) every single day for 50 minutes (all at once---not spread out over the day) plus cut down on my sat fat intake. It took me four months. There is a lot of data out there that just about anybody will lose weight if they walk everyday for an hour and don't increase their food intake.
 
@anylene Trying a different method of exercise was huge for me! I got into long distance biking as part of physical therapy and it was the first time in my life I hit "athletic" markers around an activity I did. I hated it constantly and sticking to the routine for my health made me immensely miserable and concerned around doing a time consuming task I didn't like. I have now moved on to doing a powerlifting routine and tried some other lifting goals but this is the one that feels good to me to focus on.

Keep trying different forms of athletics and eventually something that makes you feel satisfied will appear for sure.
 
@anylene I don't agree with most saying join classes...I like to be in my own zone with ear buds doing the things I want to do. At first you said toned & then dialed it back. I strength train with weights & machines and tend to be either all in or taking a day off. You also said you are concerned about athleticism and machines have instructions & are solo events surrounded by other solo events lol. I say go for strength training as technically muscle is the only thing that can structurally change you and you are so young your body is capable of great conditioning & recovery. Also, as you are young & mentioned "people u see online" let me say that the bulk like almost all is bs as far as fake, filters, steroids etc. I am super strong & quite fit and when you mention just not feeling it, I feel like I am dragging at times due to hypothyroidism and you mentioned you are overweight which both mental & physical being issues, check it out, easy cheap TSH test can be bought online like $35 as it is something that gets worse with age & fyi any abnormal number means you have it. I also vote for weight training & machines & solo activity for you so that you are not subject to missing a class time or if a friend isn't feeling the gym that you don't miss it due to another reason. Also, muscles change quite quickly especially if you add protein & the larger the muscle the more it will burn fat even at rest. Best of luck, you can do it!
 
@anylene I teach at a uni as a Gp fit instructor. What classes are you taking? If you’re taking Pilates and yoga…. It may not do much for weight loss, tbh
 
@anylene I dislike exercise. All of it. I do it bc it’s good for me, and I reward myself with cute gym clothes. I enjoy the endorphins and how it makes me feel. Pick a type of fitness you enjoy - weightlifting is best long term but the best fitness is one you will stick to!
 
@anylene Please find a group class or type of movement you do like. You might not like any of it at first bc you sound unhappy with yourself and you may judge yourself harshly or fear others judgement. But if you can find a class you like and let yourself enjoy it, man that will propel you in a whole new direction. And please please let one of them be indoor cycling… I taught for over 10years. It is a DARK room where everyone is worried about themselves and you have someone telling you what to do but you don’t always have to do it to the maximum extent and a good instructor will provide modifications for limitation. It’s so good for people starting out bc it is low impact. It is always hard AF but you just keep getting better. I promise you a good atmosphere and class is so worth it. A lot of places will let you try workouts for free if your campus doesn’t have any.
 
Back
Top