I [18F] kinda dislike going to the gym and being active and I don’t know how to fix it

@rey56bi YES!!! I cannot emphasize this enough. “Fitness” influencers are not a healthy choice to follow if you’re struggling mentally and with body image. There are a few that I enjoy (such as Liv from FitFoodieLiving because she is about muscle building and has good recipes) but otherwise people like Tammy Hembrow, Jen Selter, etc.. definitely did more harm for my self-confidence than they ever did good.

Also to add, martial arts, kickboxing, Krav Maga, and the like are all very empowering and that can add a whole other level of intrigue and excitement.
 
@anylene Find something you like to do, don't be afraid to change your activities up if you don't like what you're doing, and set some non aesthetic, incremental goals for yourself. Aesthetic only goals can be frustrating and demotivating. What do you want to get better at? Work towards that.

And give yourself a lot of grace-- changing your routines takes time. I went from 10 minute yoga videos and occasional walks 8 years ago to squatting 1.5x my bodyweight and biking for 20+ miles but it was a very gradual, non linear process directed by what I liked and what made me feel good.
 
@anylene I’ve found that exercise of any kind — running, biking, weight lifting, rock climbing, whatever — gets more enjoyable as you get more fit. It’s kind of a “you get out of it what you put into it” sort of thing. There is definitely a mental barrier to push past, but think of that as a way for you to gain strength as well. It’s easy to be the person who says “this sucks” and goes back to the couch. It’s a lot harder to be the person who says “this sucks, but I’m going to keep doing it.”

In the wise words of the monkey from Bojack, “It gets easier. But you gotta do it every day. That’s the hard part. But it does get easier.”

Discipline is a hard skill to learn. But your future self will thank you.
 
@ameliacheyenne Fully aligned with this. I found dance and love it and now I do go to the gym but it’s to get better at dance and I cross train with rock climbing.

Finding something you enjoy that keeps you active has a downstream impact.
 
@anylene I absolutely understand. I used to be this way as well. Literally could not convince me to break a sweat. I suggest finding some type of activity that you like and just remember; it gets easier and if you can find movement you enjoy it'll be a game changer.
 
@anylene Hi! I'm a physiotherapy student and just finished my course on training physiology, so hopefully I can share some helpful info I learned.

It's very common right now for people to workout alone, but research shows that group training increases both the enjoyment and willingness to continue working out.
The gym is not for everyone. My advice would be to test out as many different classes as possible that have different focuses. For example dancing or spinning for cardio, body pump for strength and yoga or pilates for flexibility. There's others like martial arts, kickboxing, running groups, zumba, ice skating, adult ballet, swimming, volleyball, etc.
You will definitely enjoy at least one of them. Stick with what keeps you active, don't get caught up in it not targeting very specific body parts.

Otherwise stick with this formula:
150-300 minutes per week of moderate activity (moderate is 60-74% of your max heart rate) or 70-150 minutes of high intensity exercise (75-94% of max heart rate). You can combine them as well.
Cardio: 3 days per week. Strength targeting the major muscle groups: 2 days per week.
 
@anylene The gym is not the only option. The best recipe for losing weight & getting active is finding an activity that you will do.

You know what else tones your back and legs? Hiking. Especially hiking with a weighted pack. Dancing. Cycling. Even yoga and pilates will do it if you do it frequently enough.

So if you hate the gym, I would consider other forms of activity that you do enjoy and do that.
 
@anylene I hate the gym!! Definitely find what you love to do that will keep you moving. At one point I even rode the bike outside. That’s if weather permits. If not definitely at home workouts have changed my life.
 
@anylene What are you doing at the gym? I think having a specific purpose is good. This could mean following a specific weight lifting program + 15 mins of cardio, or it could mean taking pre-structured classes. Something where you progress and can track progress. With weight lifting you should be adding weight to the same exercise almost every week, and if you’re doing yoga, you should be improving in doing the poses (watch YouTube videos about how to do each pose correctly). Some sense of progress and purpose could make it better now that you have a ‘habit’ of showing up at the gym.
 
@anylene I hate the gym. The only thing that keeps me going is I take classes, and once the instructor learns my name I hate disappointing them more than I hate the gym :p. Probably not the best way to look at it, but I figure one day I’ll hate it less and then I can rely on myself to motivate me.

Tl;dr find a class/instructor you like and just ride the hate. I can do something I hate for an hour if I like the person who is telling me what to do.
 
@anylene The gym is not the be all and end all.... step aerobics on youtube (C Dorner Fitness), working out with dumbbells at home to a DVD (Cathe Friedrich, Jillian..) or youtube (Sydney Cummings, Caroline Girvan, C Dorner...), Les Mills programmes like Combat on LMOD app (SO MUCH FUN!), couch25k to get out in nature and walk and run... find your fitness passion
 
@anylene I lift weights. I hate lifting weights, but i do it anyway because i love the results. But i also do yoga, which i do enjoy, and i like going for walks and swimming. You either have to find a type of exercise that you like, or just keep doing what you're doing even though you don't like it, because the results will be worth it.
 
@anylene Now you know what work could be like….

Why don’t you like it? Do you notice if you feel better afterwards at all?

I don’t always like the thought of going but the workout makes me feel good and I feel great afterwards so I do it for those reasons.

Also, chose to suffer a bit now so you don’t have to unwillingly suffer later (I.e. diseases and movement issues).
 
@anylene Something to remember is that weight loss and body recomposition happen over time. You will not see a crazy transformation in a few months. You’ll notice it over time - even over a few years. And honestly, unless you’re taking pictures regularly, you may not notice it at all! But then once you look back at those pictures you’re like wow, that’s nuts!

Try some different forms of exercise than what you’ve been doing. I got into fitness with spin classes and now I lift. Do I enjoy it? No. Do I love the way I look from my years of dedication? Yep, sure do. That makes it worth it.
 
@anylene The number of people suggesting dieting here to someone with a history of disordered eating is 😳

The most important thing is to not force yourself to do a workout you hate. Hard is ok! Sometimes there are days we just don’t feel like going. The important thing is to keep at it, and if you don’t like something, try something new. I usually go through phases of 1-2 years of a particular style of workout. I did 2 years of Beachbody HIIT, 1 year of Orange Theory, 1 year of lifting at a global gym, 1 year of home body weight workouts, 2 years of CrossFit, 2 years of home workouts (haha covid), another year of CrossFit, and now for the last year, I powerlift and walk. The point is I keep going and trying new things until I find a groove I like, when I start to hate it I try something different.

“Looking like you work out” is very much about diet and genetics, and requires multiple years of consistency, but the health benefits of working out are undeniable. Try to find some benefits you enjoy that aren’t about how you look. I personally sleep better, feel stronger, and my mental health is much better when I’m working out regularly.
 
@anylene If going to the gym just isn’t your thing, don’t force it. You’ll hate every moment and probably won’t see the progress you want, like you’re experiencing now.

There are plenty of ways to get fit that aren’t the gym (which is arguably pretty boring). Do you like to swim? Try doing that consistently. How about biking? Buy a cheap one on facebook marketplace and have fun riding trails and stuff. Are there any sports you’re into? Personally I love volleyball and play with my roommate sometimes, but it could be anything.

Also if you’re in University take advantage of their free exercise classes. Mine has a recreation and wellness center that has free classes available all week for all sorts of classes, yoga, pilates, kick boxing, etc. They have different levels usually too. I’ve done a few of those and they’re fun! And free!!
 
@anylene I don't like the gym. I train calisthenics and practice yoga at home, take a pilates reformer class, ride my bike, and go on lots of walks and hikes. I'm looking into taking up a martial art next.

Try everything you can - sports, classes, outdoor activities, online workout videos, all of it. A lot of fitness facilities offer free first sessions so you can try out an activity before committing. Take advantage of all of them. See what you like. Be willing to be a beginner and feel awkward. It's ok.

Finding something you truly like makes such a difference. Doesn't mean it's not hard, but it means you can focus on the thing you enjoy about the activity instead of just the aesthetic outcome. Physical change takes time, but once the mindset shift happens, the time passes in a totally different way.

If you're prone to obsession about your diet and taking things too far, consider seeing a therapist and/or dietitian who specializes in eating disorders to discuss your situation and your needs.

And honestly? Cull your social media. A lot of it is poisonous bullshit that will erode your self-perception.

Keep up the amazing work!
 
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