I [18F] kinda dislike going to the gym and being active and I don’t know how to fix it

@anylene I can relate to this. I was also not an "athletic" child, suffered from body image issues (grew up in the 90's), and was often teased about my body proportions (because I was an overweight child, I got very very skinny in HS- like weak skinny and I have very long arms/ legs and a short torso that was often pointed out as "looking weird"). This does a toll on your self perception and you start to pair fitness as something that isn't for you, that "isn't you" and you often feel inferior and insecure in those environments.

It is more than a fitness journey at this point. Learning to love your body and feel good on the inside is more than just having a fit body. I would even argue that my relationship with my body and self changed first, and then I started to see visible progress. I am 35 now, and quite literally in the best shape of my life. I am about 20lbs heavier than I was 10-15 years ago, but I am stronger than ever. I lift, climb, backpack and teach a cardio kickboxing class in the evenings. No one would ever know that I was bullied for "not being athletic" when I was younger, but I was.

What shifted my progress was a few things: 1. Fuck what people used to say about me not being "athletic"- I am an adult now and can decide who I want to be. 2. I am already deserving to be in any fitness space, I do not have to earn it/ be worthy of it, 3. Stop caring about what your body looks like, and start caring more about what your body can do. 4. Therapy.
 
@anylene Hey! Totally reasonable to feel like it’s a chore. Just like with taking classes for school, I’d offer the advice to break it up with fun stuff. You wouldn’t take all of your super heavy courses at once, so don’t do that with the gym either! See if your gym offers fun classes like yoga, Zumba, dance, etc. it’s still movement and it keeps you in the habit of working out but it’s not as exhaustive and repetitive as just weightlifting and cardio.
 
@anylene When I was on a campus I made myself walk to the library 2-3x a day. It got me up to 10k steps (along with other activities). I hate gym, but like being physical so whenever there's an opportunity to move something heavy, dig a hole, shovel snow, carry someone's groceries, whatever, I take it. I worked a labor job a couple of summers and it was like getting paid to go to the gym. My arms never looked better.

If weight is your concern, that is managed in the kitchen. Cardio is for your heart, mental state, and immune system. More muscle mass will burn more resting calories, so weight training activities are critical for maintenance, but slimming down is healthy diet. Not calorie restriction! Intermittent fasting can help if you want a jump start, but don't try to stave yourself thin, feed yourself healthy. Idk what that weight is on your frame (I'm 6'0 and 175 with decent muscle tone is a size 6 on me). Don't worry about the number, focus on getting strong, gaining endurance, and nourishing your future body.
 
I always think of that scam/genius fitness company that was also a moving company. The gym "members" moved boxes in and out of trucks and apartments XD. Can you find a part time job that requires durational activity?
 
@anylene I’m the same as you that I’ve never enjoyed physical activity/sport/working out, even as a kid and I’m early 30’s now. I do envy people who enjoy it too. Group classes are sometimes fun. Please just don’t be like me - keep doing it even if you hate it. You may not see or feel a difference but it 100000% better than doing nothing.
 
@anylene Stop thinking about exercise as a vector for weight loss and aesthetic. When I changed my goals for working out from “aesthetic to health” going to the gym became a lot easier. At your age, that’s harder to realize, but as I’ve gotten older, working out has been more about long term health and quality of life or weight control.

When that mental changed took hold, I started looking at working out as an investment in my long term quality of life.

Also, don’t follow fitness models, that’s a recipe for bad self esteem. Find people with figures that resemble your’s and I think that will help give you a realistic goal.

For instance, one of the fittest women at my gym, has a very average figure but she can power clean 175lbs and deadlift 325lbs while running 3 miles in 24 minutes. Soooooo… physique is definitely not everything.
 
@kalaimani529 Oh, I also changed who I followed on social media and focused on people that were body neutral or positive but also athletes. And lastly, it didn’t happen overnight it was a slow transition, that mantra played in heavy early on. Especially on days you’re so sore you can move!
 
@kalaimani529 There were a few things; I started thinking about long term life goals. I grew up in the Midwest, a lot of my family is really inactive, I still want to be able to hike a mountain, rock climb, travel or scuba dive in retirement. As I read up on the long term health benefits of fitness, especially resistance and weight training it made it obvious I’d have to do that to have the life I wanted later in life.

Secondly, I read on the benefits now and a book on a new theory of thermodynamic burn and BMR. The more active you are, even I. Your twenties or thirties, the less aches and pains you have.

Then as I started to force myself to workout, thinking about it as an investment in my long term health (during hard WODs where I was slow/weak I’d just repeat the late of “I’m just here to avoid osteoporosis and heart disease”) eventually I really started to enjoy it. As I was able to lift more or run faster, I’d develop new goals.

Precipitating factors included hiking a mountain in Maine and feeling like I was going to die even though I was relatively thin, my mom’s stroke, and sister’s RA. All of that started helping me reframe working out as a tool for future mobility and quality of life.
 
@kalaimani529 For me, I see fitness as a learning opportunity. I’ve become very interested in flexibility and mobility and have a bunch of skills that I want to be able to do, in working on them I’m learning new things and working on my fitness, in a way that is manageable and longterm.

The way I view it is that I didn’t learn to read overnight and I’m not going to be able to to bend my body every which way or complete every mobility drill right away either, but with consistency I do make progress hitting expected and unexpected milestones with regularity. The progress is what makes it worth it, it’s incremental, but when I feel frustrated, I stop and add up all of the things I’ve accomplished and realize how impressive it is and how far I’ve come and how I am much happier now I am than I was at my starting point.

Making this switch in my goals and reasoning has allowed me to be disciplined in a way that I struggled with previously and therefore has made the largest aesthetic change in the shortest amount of time. When I viewed exercise only from an aesthetic point, I didn’t take other aspects of fitness as seriously (rest, mindfulness, cross-training, different movement patterns, warmups, cool downs, stretching: dynamic, passive, pnf, mixing: reps, loads, frequency etc) it was all about about just getting certain exercises done with the hope that they would make my body look a certain way and when that didn’t happen as I expected, I always felt a disheartened, even though I was definitely stronger.
 
@anylene I also hate the gym. I find repetitions soul sucking. I really love to take classes though. Have you tried anything else? Zumba, or other types of dance like hip hop? Cycling? Pole dancing? Aerial silks? Rock climbing? All of these things help meet fitness goals and don't involve counting to eight over and over (well maybe with the exception of dance lol)
 
@felixcaleb I agree. After many years of on/off gym memberships. I decided to stop going all together and heard about classes I could take on my own time when I’m in the “mood” to “work out”. It works so well for me.. different classes keep it interesting, under 1hr and I ALWAYS feel good after!
 
@nobdysrobot It’s a bit pricey. You pay per classes unless you’re doing a monthlong membership. Here the price per month (unlimited daily classes) was around $150.. definitely worth it if you’re big on fitness but otherwise I’d steer clear and just stick with the group fitness classes most gyms offer. Also if you look on r/orangetheory they post the workouts so you can recreate them on your own.
 
@anylene If you just want fat loss, you could do things like cardio on YouTube etc at home and be just fine, but I will stress the importance of resistance training for women.

Our bone density lessens as we age and resistance training will actually increase it! And some birth control side effects are you guessed it- loss of bone density🫠So imo, even hitting weights 2x a week plus doing whatever you want on the other days is amazing.

Also keep in mind your diet will be the biggest part of this. Eating slightly less than the calories you burn, but cardio will help for fat loss as well.

The most important plan is the one you stick to. You won’t see results if you “tried to be consistent” for just a couple months. Come up with something that is realistic to you that you can stick to no matter what.

For example, do 2 gym sessions a week plus an hour of any kind of cardio 3x a week. Hiking, swimming, a YouTube class, literally any kind of cardio. When you do lift weights, you have to do the same exercises every week for at least 6 weeks while slowly going up in either reps or weight (I recommend the latter) to see a change.

If you’re changing your exercises every week that will also affect your progress since your muscles need progressive overload.

Don’t give up! Help your body be able to keep up with all the craziness college can bring.
 
@anylene Fit girls online are NOT worth watching. Unfollow all the ones you follow, or if you feel the need, come away from social media entirely. And like many of the others in here have said, you should find the thing YOU enjoy, and makes you want to go exercise. Martial arts (a past favourite of mine and I've even tinkered with trying it again recently), roller derby etc, even if you enjoy just going for long walks on your own or with a pet, you're doing what you love, and makes you feel excited.
 
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