Sometimes…it just comes down to grit🤷🏾‍♀️

[jodi1028]

It’s so fascinating to watch how fitness influencers and social media has viewed fitness from the time I got into it (around 2017/18 to now). I feel like the tone and way people regard health and fitness has turned a bit…enabling sometimes?? Don’t bring out the pitchforks, but let me explain myself.

A new influencer I’m following had a long post where she said everything was hard and that we had to “choose our hard.” It’s been a long time since I saw a fitness girl post anything that didn’t revolve around “I’ve been out of a routine for the last few weeks, but that’s OKAY, I’m living life & that’s more important.”

Choose your hard has been stuck in my head.

Yes, waking up early and going on a walk is hard. Yes it’s hard to make sure I’m working out 5xs a week. Yes, it’s hard to watch portions. Yes, it’s really hard to fight the urge to have something sweet after. every. meal.

But you know what else is hard?
Being uncomfortable in your own skin.
Constantly wondering what life would’ve been like if you KEPT going.
Being annoyed about eating something you REALLY didn’t even want.
Speculating if maybe I could have ran that 5k if I JUST kept training.
Looking at someone and thinking “now why can’t I do that?”

I think giving yourself grace is important, I don’t think restriction is the right way to go, but I do believe we’ve lost some of the conversation around true discipline and choices. How badly do you want it?

Choose your hard.

Edit: Since this has came up, the influencer I’m speaking of isn’t crazy fit more “healthy” and I think she refers to herself as “midsize” it’s one of the reasons I took her advise very seriously. She has a job and has a substantial amount of weight and looks healthy-not a fit lifting/running monster.

 

[mj_1969]

@jodi1028 With physique goals especially, I feel like the goals people have in mind don't match the effort they're willing to give.

It's fine if you're not wanting to go balls to the wall. But with that, you gotta have the expectation that you're not going to look like your xyz-enter-favorite-influencer-here. Again, totally fine. But manage your expectations accordingly.

I feel like the whole space is clouded with influencers and trainers who just aren't being honest about what it takes. It's more appealing and more profitable to market something as being attainable to 100% of people. But shit is hard. If you want to look like an athlete, you gotta act like one sometimes.

This is why I like folks like Kenzie Vance and Alex Edwards in the fitness space. They're fucking HONEST.

 

[jodi1028]

@mj_1969 This! I follow an influencer who is crazy ripped and people are in her comments all the time bashing how “little” she eats, but she fuels her body to keep the physique she wants. I mean, I’m 100% not interested in living a life like that but I do appreciate her transparency of what actual eating looks like to keep her abs

 

[forwhatitsworth]

@jodi1028 People don’t like to hear that they have to work for things. I experience this all the time when people ask about my routine or diet. No girls, I’m not drinking “a glass” of wine and skipping workouts. No one wants to hear this. No one is following those who tell the truth about the work except for the people already putting in the work.

 

[valocz]

@forwhatitsworth I do drink a glass of wine- but I don’t eat tempting snacks/sweets in the break room and make sure I stay in my caloric deficit. 20 pounds down!

 

[jodi1028]

@valocz I don’t keep snacks in the house because I truly don’t understand the concept of “12 chips” “2” Oreo cookies

 

[csh97]

@jodi1028 Lmao Oreos are so bad for this, I keep them in my car because if I keep them in my apartment I’ll finish a pack in like two days

 

[jodi1028]

@forwhatitsworth I get this, I travel a TON for work and my meals are paid for. I’ve had to figure out a way to eat decent on the road that’s convenient but also doesn’t derail me! It’s so hard to when every meal is paid for to not go to the nicest steakhouse

 

[butterfly2222]

@jodi1028 Hard agree and I’m completely aware that my vision when it comes to this is on the « harsh » side so I try not to push it onto others, because everyone’s goals and priorities are different.

But yeah it’s a bit annoying when people ask « what’s your secret » and when you tell them they’re like: « ok but I don’t want to do that ». It feels like they’re hoping I’m going to tell them I was actually joking and I actually don’t do anything, I’m just born this way, which would be so much more reassuring to them.

At this point, whenever I’m asked this question I always say « do you really want to know? Because you may not like the answer, and I’m telling you right now, it involves a lot of hard work ». Still, they keep saying « are you sure!? like would it still work if I don’t do x thing? ».

We also tend focus a lot on immediate goals when it comes to « choosing » your hard. Physique goals mostly. I feel like we need to remind ourselves that it’s also about health, even if it seems far away. Our fitness today is going to matter a LOT more past the age of 50.

 

[jodi1028]

@butterfly2222 That’s what I was explaining in the comments!! It’s NOT just phsysique it’s absolutely about intentionally and discipline across all the facets that make up health/wellness. When I say grit, I’m not JUST talking about physical activity. It’s about addressing eating habits & lack of movement. These things- as you mentioned add up, if we fail to hold on to 70% of things we learn during challenging and less than picture perfect times, what’s the point?

Btw, I love reminding myself I’m working out for my old lady body

 

[marvilcott]

@jodi1028 Lmao love the “old lady body” frame of mind! I can definitely relate to using that as a motivator.

 

[soul_searching_gal]

@jodi1028 I am 53 and very fit - I look almost exactly the same as I did when I was younger. The good news is that if you keep working out, you won’t have an old lady body for a very, very long time!

 

[billbennet]

@jodi1028 There are so many influencers out there, it can be hard to separate the wheat from the chaff. I follow some women because of how they look as it motivates me to get my butt into the gym and work hard, But I'm convinced 90% of them have cycled Anavar/Oxandrolone at a minimum. (ClairePThomas, themelissator come to mind) I have worked out for years and never achieved that level of muscularity and many of these women are built similarly to me. It would be great if people could be honest but it's still a crime with fines and jail time so why would they? They stand to gain nothing by coming clean about it.

Then there are those I follow for the real meat and potatoes information that I need, Jeff Nippard, Susan Niebergall, Cori Lefkowith, Dr Mike Israetel, and Conor Harris to name a few. It is harder to find specific information about how women should train however because we aren't used in studies as often but a few of these folks will talk about what has been studied, such as volume and rest are different for women. We can handle more volume, need less rest in between sets, and recover faster, otherwise all movements are essentially the same. But yeah I think people don't always know what almost to failure/failure feels like. And how hard to you have to stress the body to get it to change. We are amazing adaptation machines that are incredibly efficient, meaning our bodies will do almost anything to resist growing in the face of energy demands, or losing fat in the face of survival demands. It doesn't want to do either if it doesn't have to.

 

[deadpool]

@billbennet Really resonate with your point about not always knowing what failure feels like. I've been lifting for close to 2 years and feel like I've only recently truly gone to failure on some lifts. Like on my last squat day, I think I spent 14 seconds trying to grind out my last rep, it was absolutely brutal and mentally really challenging to even attempt that rep with the one before it already feeling hard.

But now that I've recalibrated my perception, I'm hoping I can see more physical changes in the coming months/years

 

[billbennet]

@deadpool Totally. I think knowing how to fail safely is a huge plus that we should all practice. I don't have the luxury of a training partner who can catch the bar if I should fail. I've also had the experience where for some reason I'm stronger on the 3rd or 4th set though I'm at a weight where I tend to hit close to failure between 8-12 reps. Then all of a sudden I'm able to bang out 14-15. It doesn't necessarily mean I'm ready to move up a full 5lbs (the increments on the plates) but somehow my muscles are more primed and I'm stronger the further into the sets I get. I just try to take advantage of it and go for as long as I can.

 

[ecumeni]

@jodi1028 I think what a lot of us are dealing with is influencer fatigue. These are now people whose entire lives/careers revolve around their bodies looking a certain way, so it's kind of impossible to not roll our eyes when they make it out like everyone else who doesn't look like them just doesn't want it bad enough. Times are TOUGH for people right now. Healthcare is not easily accessible, economy is a joke, political tensions have a lot of people feeling very unsafe. Like sorry, if you're making 150k sitting around the house posting to TikTok and IG, you can't really tell a single parent hovering just above the poverty line what is or isn't hard for their situation.

In short, it's very Kim K saying "People just don't want to work anymore."

 

[butterfly2222]

@ecumeni Sohee made a post about this recently and I thought it was refreshing, like she doesn’t have kids and her business is basically to workout, so of course she finds the time.

 

[jodi1028]

@ecumeni Facts!! What I like about this particular influencer is the fact that she lost 100lbs and still has a corporate office job! Very normal life, just happened to figure herself out which I admire, ALOT.

 

[bluerain172]

@jodi1028 A lot of people are suddenly losing weight because of Ozempic. A lot of influencers are taking it (or becoming influencers by taking it and quickly losing a lot of weight) and saying how easy it is to lose weight now.

I have 2 friends on it that easily lost 30 lbs and 80 lbs on it so far. They said they’re now only drawn to green beans and chicken, can barely eat anything with no hunger signals, and don’t even like the taste of sugar and alcohol while on it. Both of their insurances cover it in full.

You’re not lazy - these two friends could not lose the weight, would binge eat, succumb to cravings, etc. before the medication. Both of them didn’t start working out at all until they hit a normal BMI. One of my friends is now underweight, actively eats like 2 avocado rolls a day, and just has 0 interest in eating.

I have 10-15 vanity lbs I’d like to lose but dieting makes me feel so grumpy so it makes me jealous sometimes.

 

[ecumeni]

@jodi1028 I love that for her, but that still doesn't give her the right to make sweeping generalizations about other people and their situations. In America especially, obesity is very much a systemic issue and I think we aren't doing anybody any favors when we try to alienate those affected by reducing the issue to simple willpower.