Almost 40 -- Struggling with gains & recovery. Advice needed, please

@wholehalfmom They'll come. Start taking pictures monthly, same place same lighting same posture. It's easy to not notice changes in the mirror. It's actually funny because whenever I look at myself in the mirror I'm disappointed with my aesthetics but when I see a picture, even if it's a damn mirror selfie, I think I look just fine. Our brains can suck that way haha.

Make sure you're close to about 175-200g of protein a day, for your weight, to ensure you're getting enough for your goals. Also, cut down on the beer and sweets. Sorry man, it sucks, I know. But if your sweet gains are just hiding under 30+ extra pounds of fat you're not going to get the look you want.

As far as numbers, keep lifting and eat and sleep as well as you can. They'll go up. And don't be discouraged because others lift more. It's not a competition except with yourself. If you really want to compete with others in a realistic way, remember that maybe 10 percent of the population can bench their body weight, so aim for that goal if you're not already there!
 
@rev411 Good point on the selfie. (Although I HATE looking at myself in the mirror. I'm long-legged/short-waisted, and the "spare tire" makes me sick)

...175-200g of protein a day...

Can that come in any form? Shakes or "real food"? Also, I thought I read somewhere that your body can't utilize that much protein and a good majority of it ends up as waste. Any truth to that?

...cut down on the beer and sweets...

Does alcohol effect your gains, or just your overall fat/weight?

...10 percent of the population can bench their body weight...

I did not know that. I.....cannot do that. I was up to around 235+ a year ago, but then injured my shoulder (familiar story) and never got back there again.
 
@wholehalfmom Protein can come from whatever source. There's literature that says your body can only process X amount of protein at one time but if you're concerned about that, don't worry because it's being spread over the day anyway.

Alcohol affects gains but doesn't kill them. It affects test level and harms your sleep, so maybe that's the reason. Plus beer is high calorie :(
 
@rev411 This is good info. Thank you. You're exactly right -- I can't eat / drink what I used to. I'm noticing now more than ever that alcohol effects my sleep and I wake up feeling HORRIBLE, not hungover, but like I didn't sleep at all. Sucks getting older, however, I can say that I feel better now (and am in better shape) than I was in my 20's and 30's. I was never fat, but I've always struggled with my energy levels. Plus, at least I have more 'definition' now than I did then.
 
@wholehalfmom FWIW this is me. I'm not as big as I was because I had some health issues that put a couple months break on my lifting, but for 46 I'm pretty happy with what I've got (that is, better than most guys, and way way better than almost everyone over 40) and I'm not done progressing. Keep loving to lift and do the right stuff most of the time and things will fall into place.
 
@wholehalfmom There ya go. And getting old only sucks if you let it. Go with what time lets you have, and take every bit of that. Don't take anything for granted.

Also, you mean "affected/affect" in this post and your one yesterday. "Effect" means it makes something happen, eg

Alcohol affects my sleeping patterns.

Alcohol effects a shitty change in my sleeping patterns.

If something just has an impact on something else, it's affect with an A. Cheers!
 
@wholehalfmom
and the "spare tire" makes me sick)

Losing that would probably do more than anything else to satisfy your esthetic goals, and that's almost 100% diet.

Does alcohol effect your gains, or just your overall fat/weight?

Alcohol affects your testosterone levels and adds empty calories, which affects your weight, which also affects your testosterone levels.

but then injured my shoulder (familiar story) and never got back there again.

At your age, you're going to have to start doing rehab and prehab exercises in order to avoid injury. You can't train when you're injured, which affects your gains. Believe me, the time spent warming up and doing prehab exercises is well worth it.
 
@victoria52 Yes, you're right about the "spare tire". That would make a huge difference in my confidence. And as I mentioned previously in a different reply, I had no clue that alcohol effects your test levels. I need to do some reading on that!
 
@wholehalfmom I'm about your age, and while I've had trouble making huge gains, I'm still making slow progress even 4 years since I started lifting.

How's leg day? Seriously, you need to work your large muscle groups. Be sure to not skip leg day.
How much weight are you lifting? The advice I follow says that one of your lifts each day should be a heavy, low rep lift. Don't hurt yourself, but make sure you're pushing at those limits a bit.
Are you getting enough sleep? If you don't rest enough your progress will slow to nothing.

Alcohol is also a killer for gains. Try taking a few weeks off of the beer and see if you improve.

Lastly, it wouldn't hurt to have your T levels checked.
 
@loneburro
How's leg day?

Honestly, I've grown to love leg day. I kill myself (in a good way) on squats and dead lift. My dead lift is going up considerably, but my squat has ALWAYS been a struggle.

How much weight are you lifting?

I'm really ashamed to say - lol. I've always been weak in bench, but some say it has to do with my long arms (or maybe it's just an excuse). My program - in a nutshell - is the usual chest/tri's, legs/shoulders, back/bi's. On a weekly basis I change up my reps from high to low. Starting with 15-20 reps, 12-15 the next week, 8-12, 5-8, etc.

Are you getting enough sleep?

Sleep has always been a tough one. I have three daughters, and I'm also a musician, so sleep is sometimes hard to come by.

Alcohol is also a killer for gains.

Crap....
 
@wholehalfmom That bro split program is not the best way to focus on strength gains if you really want to raise your powerlift numbers, which you seem to be saying you do.
 
@wholehalfmom I'm about the same size as you but 10 years older. Do you take rest weeks where you just go thru the motions of your weight days with light weight? I do that every 4th week. Every 5th week may be more reasonable but it's working for me.

50 minutes of cardio sounds like a lot. How about trying HIIT? It is over faster and may be more beneficial. I do 4 100 meter sprints, 2 200 meter sprints 2x/week. It's way more fun than a long jog for me.
 
@friendsinchrist
Do you take rest weeks...

I do sometimes, but maybe the issue is I stayed COMPLETELY out of the gym :) Lighter weight and just going through the motions isn't a bad idea.

50 minutes of cardio sounds like a lot.

Is it? I honestly don't know. I just want to sweat my arse off and get my heart rate up. I wouldn't mind trying HIIT. I'm just unsure on how to start. I'll just google it.
 
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