@mamabdog Remember why you start lifting, and why it continues to be your passion. Keep in mine things like aesthetics, physical appearance etc will only lasts for so long. We are all organic materials that will eventually grow old. If all of a sudden the physical appearance factor is out of the window, will you still continue to lift?
Keep in mind those instagram dudes that you are talking about are all trying so hard to fit into the typical “popular narrative” that people envy.
Then all of a sudden they will realize
1.) Nothing is fulfilling and emotional when you have been smashing girls/partying 24/7 rinse and repeat
2.) They have been ignoring their emotional needs. The feeling of something missing. (Will they be confident if no one is giving them attention?)
In regards to taking gear, I think you as an adult should make responsible decisions. Be responsible and educate yourself if you are choosing to take gear. Maybe hire a professional coach that can guide you. Don’t ask your gym bros for gear hook ups. Know your limits, and be very careful.
Also the most important thing.... you can still look like shit if you think gear is this miracle juice. If you are on gear, it is more important to be 100% with diet/training. Your body can only handle being on juice for some amount of time (before your internal organs had enough stress), so use that time wisely.
And trust me... once you are juicing, more dudes will be staring at you than girls.