Early morning gym goers, with family, how do you balance going to bed early with time for your partner?

[dougnarg]

I'm married, with a 5 year old and wake up 5 am to go to the gym until about 6 ish, then head home shower and get my daughter ready at 6:45, and we both leave at around 7:10 for school drop off and work. I am an early bird, Iike my mornings and i.love my morning workouts. My husband is a night owl and he sometimes feels like i dont gove hik enough time in the evening because by 9:45 i am tired at ready for bed. If I'm not in bed by 10 pm, I won't wake up early, and I also am serious about getting 7 hours a night as I function better the next day.

For those qhp wake up early to workout, with a spouse that does not, how do you balance together time in the evening? By the time my daughter is in bed and the kitchen is cleaned (we take turns doing both), I honestly just want to wind down my night. I usually try to sit with my husband a bit after all that but I think he feels like I am not making enough time for him in the evening, but 5 am is my only time to workout during the day!

 

[shawna27]

@dougnarg We just accept it for what it is. No evening time together during the week. Weekends work though.

We both understand. I wake up at 445 to work out. But I get all the kids stuff ready for school before I start. Tradeoffs.

We have a 1 year old and a 2 year old.

 

[seanmonte]

@shawna27 OP is he willing to get up earlier to have quality time before you take kids to school? Bc he’s kinda asking the same of you

Are there specific things he feels your relationship is lacking? Quality time can mean different things.

Can y’all both put your kid to bed together as a special family time? Could you plan to have relationship time the night before your rest day?

 

[more]

@shawna27 Exactly how it is in our house too

 

[eternum]

@shawna27 Yes, I think parents need to accept they just can't do it all, whatever you may have been led to believe. The important thing is an arrangement that both are ok with.

 

[oakharbormama]

@dougnarg Almost the same here. I get up with the kids, make them breakfast, get them ready for school and leave as my wife is waking up. She sleeps in and takes them to school. I’m off to work and then most nights we have kids activities. By the time they get to bed around 9, I’m ready for bed by 9:30 while she likes to stay up. It was a bit of a fight for a while (she also doesn’t work while I have to talk all day and just want to relax which makes it worse) but we have different sleeping habits and start our days at different times. Weekend nights are where it’s at for now.

 

[boyeso]

@dougnarg My wife is stay at home so that helps w getting kids out etc. The gym is also on my way to work. I get to gym around 5-530 and then shower and press on to work. My wife and I both go to bed around 10-11 pm. We get the kid to bed around 830 and just hang out together till we’re ready to sleep. I like my wife a lot, which helps.

 

[danieljames]

@dougnarg We made the gym our time together. We get up at 4am and go together, then when we get home we can have coffee and breakfast together.
Quality down time is the morning for us vs afternoon.
My kids are a bit older and we’re gone and home before they even wake up.