How to approach a gym crush

[kgerard]

@hirokoegan True! You can't really have a crush on someone you don't know, you just like how they look and the idea of them. That doesn't mean you can't get to know them and maybe hit it off as friends or more.

 

[katielouise90]

@wrestlos Start by smiling at her and see if she smiles back at you. Do this a few times. After that (if she smiles back) you can just say hi when you see her and see how she reacts. If she seems happy about it and starts saying hi to you, too, you can introduce yourself or ask her for her name and start small talk. Then you do this for a few times and then after you get to know her a little, you can ask her out for a drink.

A guy at my gym approached me (woman) like this and I really liked the way it went. It made me feel safe, I never thought that the guy was pushy or a creep and just felt comfortable. It will take time but that's much better than just asking you crush for her number, getting rejected and then having to switch gym etc.

And to add: as a woman I would say it's definitely fine if you approach a woman at the gym as long as you do it respectfully and back off if a woman tells you she's not interested. Just be polite and friendly and respect her boundaries. Yes, there's this stigma that women don't want to be approached and that you should leave them alone etc. BUT I would say that's heavily influenced by the fact that some creepy guys can't take no for an answer and are super unpleasant when they talk to a woman at the gym (e.g. touching without asking, getting way too close etc)...

And one last piece of advice: (Preferably) do not ask her for her number but rather give her your number. This lets her decide whether she wants to contact you or not.

 

[yakuda]

@katielouise90 All of this above! And also to add:

- If she's got headphones on, wait until she's not wearing them to talk to her. And do not 'tap' her on the shoulder to get her attention. I get immediately annoyed when someone does this to get my attention, regardless of the reason why (even if it's a simple compliment); I just don't like being touched and think everyone should respect personal space.

- Do *not* interrupt her while she's in the middle of a set.

- If possible, wait until after her workout is over or she's at the water fountain to give her your number.

 

[dawn16]

@wrestlos say hello

 

[mick777]

@wrestlos Once I saw someone at the gym I knew from high school. We chatted and I went back to my workout. When he was leaving he handed me his number with a little message on it. He left so quickly that when I opened it to read it he was gone. I never got back to him because I was dating someone but I felt really bad. He put himself out there and probably felt rejected I didn’t respond. Although responding to say no felt worse?

Anyway no actual advice just letting you know how asking someone out in the gym in one instance.

 

[thechristenedviking]

@mick777 Not responding is the right move there I think. I once gave a girl my number like that and she texted me later saying she was flattered but taken.. literally all my guy and girl friends told me that meant she was probably interested

 

[ashpanash]

@wrestlos First, do you know her? Do you talk to her at all? At my gym a few years before the pandemic the most beautiful girl joined with her sister and friend. Every guy was flipping out. I was just friendly with her for a while and then one day when she was leaving we were chatting and I said something like I'm going downtown to the bar this weekend with my friends. Want to have some drinks? She said yes and came out that weekend with her friends. And we ended up going out on a bunch of dates. I was nervous, almost didn't ask her out but I'm glad I did.

 

[impatrickbateman]

@wrestlos Let the air outta her tires and then offer to help.

 

[muanetu]

@impatrickbateman Demonstrate Value

 

[impatrickbateman]

@muanetu You’ve been studying

 

[gentl4u]

@wrestlos Leave it mate.

 

[kgerard]

@wrestlos Someone actually asked if I needed a spot the other day, I kindly declined. Then he joked that he might, looking nervously at the plates he put on. He was absolutely not my type, but he was friendly and funny, so it was totally okay talking to him.

Another time I asked if I could take the two 15kg plates someone had on their squat rack. He said 'yeah sure'. A minute later he walked towards me and said 'I actually want them back'. I was flabbergasted. Then he said 'no I'm totally joking' laughed, and walked away. I also thought that was pretty funny.

My point is to keep it short, lighthearted, and maybe crack a joke. Then you may speak to them next time again.

 

[dawn16]

@wrestlos Give her a smile the next couple of times you go to the gym. If you get a smile back, you can escalate to a "hi" after a week or two, and then escalate that to a conversation.

 

[subikumar]

@wrestlos Here’s a secret….girls are humans too. Go say hi. Build a friendly relationship before shooting your shot. If she likes you, then make a move. It’s a marathon not a sprint.

 

[tru2u]

@wrestlos Start with general chit chat then the sessions after will feel smoother. I always make a comment on how the weights feel that day etc etc, conversation should just flow, met lots of friends this way, good luck!

 

[matt1111]

@wrestlos You could be very casual about making a friend. I don’t know how to do that, so…? Obviously don’t push anything, and don’t be creepy in any way.

 

[matt1111]

@wrestlos You could be very casual about making a friend. I don’t know how to do that, so…? Obviously don’t push anything, and don’t be creepy in any way.

 

[obsession]

@wrestlos The first and most important question: is she vegan?

 

[wrestlos]

@obsession Probably not. it’s hard to find other fit vegans.

 

[obsession]

@wrestlos Then you don’t want her, you really don’t.
And I think it’s much better to find a vegan and get her interested in fitness, then settle for a carnist fit person, who might not be willing to stop eating animals.