I *calmly* shut down unwanted male attention today!

[karin70]

@kabriana Thank you!

I know! It was so fulfilling to be striking again! I knew I missed it, but didn’t realize how much.

 

[michaelallanson]

@karin70 "It’s like, they feel threatened to see a woman capable of fighting and need to reassert their dominance by putting me back into my place by letting me know they know more."

I've noticed the same in other avenues that are typically male dominated. Men will often belittle me or put me down in order to feel like they're better and more dominant.

Kudos to you to keeping calm. I also sway between between extremes in response. Especially if I am caught off guard by random sexism and belittlement I wasn't expecting in that moment.

 

[karin70]

@michaelallanson Yes- It’s being caught off guard!

And then my limbic system is like: either play dead or fight for your life!

 

[dawn16]

@karin70 Awesome job navigating that situation! I posted about an near-encounter I avoided multiple times in the gym the other day. I just refused to look over at a man that was dying for me to make eye contact and start a conversation. No thank you, let me be.

 

[dawn16]

I have honestly started to stare back at the creeps. then they stare down on the floor instead lol. but I'm lucky to work out at a gym that's got a section (room) for women only. it's not great and they don't have heavier db's than 22 lbs so I have to go out of the room and pick up some heavier ones and you best believe I take them with me in to the womens gym area and after I'm done I put them back on my way out. very sad to have to "live" like this but damn it's so serene in the womens only room.

 

[nagra]

@dawn16 you should leave them in the women's area. justice.

 

[betelo995]

@dawn16 22 lbs is 9.99 kg

 

[dawn16]

@betelo995 yeah I was going for 10 kg but I wasn't completely sure what it was in lbs. *confused scandinavian* lol thank you lil bot.

 

[karin70]

@dawn16 Yes! I think totaling ignoring/ avoiding eye contact is the next level. It takes some real steel to pull that off.

I’m kind of scared because the last time I completely tried to ignore a guy like that, he was insistent and pissed. It was outdoors, in a kind of quiet, tucked away space.

It was kind of scary to navigate.

But, I’ll borrow from your strength next time!

 

[marjo]

@karin70 In my experience avoiding eye contact is crucial to getting people to leave you alone in the first place. The minute you make eye contact they have an in to bother you.

 

[dawn16]

@karin70 Giving you all the steel in the world! Wearing a baseball cap helps too. I am not an antisocial person by any means...but I think we all know exactly the chatty type that enjoy interrupting our workouts. Keep doing you!!

 

[smiley154728]

@karin70 I have no experience with martial arts, but plenty with men thinking they deserve my time and energy. The number of times I'll be doing something innocuous like pumping gas and a guy starts talking to me, I politely dismiss them with a non-committal acknowledgement and keep doing what I'm doing, and then I get called a bitch. Like, what? I don't want to talk to anyone. Why am I obligated to do so because you decided you want to be in my personal space? Get the fuck outta here.

 

[futureflyingsaucers]

@smiley154728 So much experience with men who think they deserve my time...

When I was 19 my car broke down. I pulled over at a gas station to swap the old ignition coil for the new one I had waiting. This is pretty easy, only takes a minute. Several men came over one at a time to "help." Every single one admitted they know nothing about cars.

Like...gee thanks!

 

[sirhumphreyii]

@futureflyingsaucers Just pullout the ol' Ron Swanson of "I know more than you"

 

[smiley154728]

@futureflyingsaucers I drive a ton for work and have a cute little sports car, because why not? Unfortunately those lo-pro tires mean it can be easy to catch a flat. Every single time a guy stops to ask if I need help I think it's nice and thank them, but tell them I've got it covered and will be on my way in a moment.

I'd say it's 50/50 on them being like, "ok, that's cool you're so self-sufficient" or acting like I've personally offended them by not accepting their help.

Dude, I'm changing a tire, I don't have a free hand to massage your fucking ego too.

 

[karin70]

@smiley154728 Yes! It’s totally their expectation that if they want my time any attention, they get it.

It’s just so, entitled...?

And I also think men have no idea that women feel unsafe around unknown men. Like, a man coming up to me isn’t a welcome thing. It’s setting off alerts and cortisol and not engaging is simply the safest tactic.

 

[smiley154728]

@karin70 They just can't possibly believe that the "little lady" won't be interested in their wisdom/company/completely boring ass shit that comes out of their mouths.

 

[di4g0n4leye]

@karin70 Peoples inability to mind their own business continues to stagger me.

 

[karin70]

@di4g0n4leye Right! That’s absolutely what it comes down to!

 

[cathyrvanderpool]

@karin70 I’m so proud of you too!!