@kingshellie My personal trainer had an initial conversation with me asking how I felt about physical touch for correction and if I had parameters on what was acceptable. He continues to ask on an ongoing basis before he touches. Not in an overly formal way, but if I'm not getting his correction from him verbally explaining or demonstrating, he'll ask if it's OK to position my body the way he wants, touch the muscle he wants me to engage, or give me a spot on a chin-up, things like that. It's almost never necessary anymore, but the way he handled it was pretty comfortable to me (though I don't have issues with touch in general, either, so there's that).
@kingshellie If they have consent, I find this type of correction very helpful. Like when they touch specifically which part to relax or move differently, it's easier for me to think about that muscle and react correctly. But usually the trainers ask me at the beginning of engagement if I'm ok with this type of correction. I think I even had to sign for it.
@jacobezra Right. When I have worked with coaches they always said, "is it ok if I touch you to fix your technique?" If they don't ask it's a little bit weird for sure.
@kingshellie Fitness professionals should always ask for permission to touch or even get close. "I would like to move your limb to the correct position, may I touch you?
You can assert your need for space. "Please give me more room," or "Don't get so close to me," are both appropriate and polite.
@sergeant98 Yup! My trainer always says something like: "I am going to move your arm this way" or whatever before touching me. It's matter of fact and it lets me know that it's happening. The only time he doesn't warn me, it's in case of a total, sudden fail (as in, I am about to fall or something like that). Thankfully those are rare as I am getting better at things like hand stands.
@sergeant98 My trainer always asked me before touching me, whether it was to correct my form or stretch me out. One of my dance instructors, who is the same sex as me, also asked for my permission before she touched me, to correct my step.
You should communicate to your current trainer that he should give you a heads up if he is going to touch you.
I am sorry about your experience with your old trainer OP. Sounds like a total asshole.
@kingshellie Not appropriate for someone to touch you without having first sought consent to do so, even if the current coach may not have any grubby intentions like the last one did.
You really should have a quick chat with him ‘hey, I appreciate your coaching but I would prefer not to be touched when you’re giving advice; thanks.’ Don’t need any extra history or context. If he continues after that, then it’s cause for further discussion with the gym owners.
@kingshellie Any coach worth their salt would immediately take that feedback well if you said, "Hey, just FYI I don't really like people touching me or being so close to me." What you're describing sounds like normal correction, but everyone has their own personal space. I personally don't like people behind me when I squat, so my coach knows to just let me bail out myself or use safeties.
@katie4469 Exactly what I was thinking. Also, sometimes you think you're doing something correctly, until someone actually moves your arms/legs/... to the correct position and you realize, Ooh, so that's what (s)he means
@kingshellie Honestly, it doesn't matter if you are or aren't overreacting. It makes you feel uncomfortable. You should communicate that to him and if he doesn't respect your boundaries, he is not a good coach. (As an aside, I much prefer coaches who ask before touching someone. Yes, touching as a form of physical feedback is sometimes useful. But one should ask first).
@corinthan1995 Yeah it doesn’t matter if it was appropriate or not - it was obviously not working for you. It’s something’s not feeling right you can and should tell them to stop, that goes for the gym and the rest of the planet. When you tell him to stop or ask first (however you feel comfortable doing so), if he does have truly good intentions he’ll immediately stop and probably apologize. If he is defensive/argumentative in the slightest, then you should find yourself a new trainer.
