My roommates keep calling me gym obsessed.

[maxi492]

@kmar123 Ah ok that’s 100% it then. I think this probably has nothing to do with working out and everything to do with you not being the fun party friend anymore. I used to be THE party girl bartender and have scaled it back a lot in recent years. I definitely lost some friends along the way which used to hurt me, like am I only worthwhile if I’m plastered? But after some reflection I realized it wasn’t fair to place all the blame on my former friends when I was the one who changed the terms of our agreement. I’d keep doing what you’re doing by making non party dates with friends, maybe reach out to friends and reiterate that you’d love to be invited to parties even if you’re not drinking. If your roommates all getting drunk together on a Friday night is an important bonding experience I’d probably try to hang with them for an hour or two at the beginning of the night and then go to bed early when it starts to get rowdy so you’re refreshed for your morning workout. And of course making some new friends with similar fitness goals would be ideal!

 

[mos13foxtrot]

@kmar123 You deal with it by shrugging and walking away.

 

[sandis]

@kmar123 This is pretty much my workout schedule as well. I workout 5-6 times a week and I pick my rest day depending on how fatigued I am that particular day. I also make sure to spread out my exercises into upper and lower body days and I've had absolutely no issues. One of the reasons I do workout most days of the week is when I don't I have noticed I get depressed and have less energy. Exercise is essentially one of my medications for my depression.

IDK about your roommates but sometimes people will call you out if they feel "inferior." Perhaps they are subconsciously upset that you are working out, looking good, etc. vs them where maybe they aren't in great shape, have any particular goals, etc.

Eh, in terms of dealing with it I'd just ignore them and stop telling them what I'm up to. They don't have to know what you are doing or who you are with.

 

[jackkkjilll81]

@kmar123 This doesn’t sound like too much, or an addiction. One reason being is that you were not upset with yourself that you took a rest day and ordered in. People who struggle with addiction are prone to have a harsh inner critic and as a way to silent that critic, they use insert addictive behavior to ease themselves of the pain. It sounds like you care about your body and know when it’s time to rest, which is a sign of respect towards your body. So no, my guess is that you do not have a problem but that you are committed to health and wellness.

It sounds like your commitment to disciplined physical health has illuminated your roommates lack thereof. In order for them to not face the fact they are not taking care of themselves, they will deflect it and call you an addict. It’s a coping strategy. Don’t take it personally. And don’t be ashamed bc you love taking care of your body. It’s not too much.

Enjoy your work out tonight

 

[kmar123]

@jackkkjilll81 Thank you! Actually I chose to just walk today because it’s what I feel like doing. I even felt judged by saying I was going for a walk lol. Anyway I really appreciate this

 

[jackkkjilll81]

@kmar123 That’s so weird! Would you ever ask them what their deal is?

 

[dawn16]

@kmar123 Sounds reasonable to me. If you care, I’d ask them to explain a bit more why they’re concerned. If you were also obsessively counting calories or saying awful things about your body for instance I’d be concerned, but if it’s just the exercise I don’t get it. I jog 3 times a week and lift 3 times. It’s the only time I’m alone and away from my family, it’s essential for my mental health and I sleep SO much better when I do. Everyone is different, and they need to slow their roll.

 

[dawn16]

Yeah it sounds like they’re insecure about their own health habits so they’re projecting unhealthy habits onto OP.

Or maybe they wanted OP to hang out with them on the couch. But they also...could’ve just said that if that’s what they meant.

 

[kmar123]

@dawn16 yes, it’s definitely a mental health thing for me as well. Rest days were hard before and I had to force myself to take them but they’re easier now. And I definitely eat a lot heh, more than my friends and roommates actually, I even had to increase my caloric intake because I wasn’t fueling my body enough before, so they’re definitely not worried about my diet.

 

[aliveone]

@kmar123 I'm just an idiot about to post my opinion, but when you say it was/is hard to take rest days when during that time you could be doing anything other than working-out I kinda of see an issue.

 

[kmar123]

@aliveone I’m aware! I’ve always had a tendency to stick to things a bit compulsively to cope with anxiety. I’ve had numerous hobbies due to this reason. it used to be creative writing (to the point of writing for 10 hours a day with barely a bathroom break), then piano, guitar, yoga, you get the gist. Then again it always calms down overtime so to speak.

I did exercise compulsively during quarantine (my country was in strict lockdown for a while during spring) and my anxiety was through the roof, couldn’t go out, was stuck with only my roommate and her boyfriend and couldn’t see my family. Exercise was my coping mechanism and I did it for 2 hours daily. Now it’s very different though, and I’m proud to say that even if it’s still something I use to cope with anxiety, it’s definitely not compulsive anymore and I always listen to my body first. This week I’ve even barely stuck to my planned routine due to social reasons / menstruation and it’s like whatever - I’ll get back to it next week lol

 

[nurse_lorena]

@kmar123 I’m assuming you’re young, like early 20’s. Sadly this is the age where we haven’t quite learned how to stand up for ourselves and politely tell people to mind their own business, while also being the age where our friends haven’t yet learned TO mind their own business. So you get a lot of people telling your their unsolicited “opinions” based off of nothing, but “that’s just what I think...”.

Now is as good a time as any to firmly let your friends know that what you do with your time is your business and your business alone. You will not be telling them what you think is wrong with their choices, and you expect the same respect in return. Then just learn to stop caring, and if they keep saying things, get sarcastic back, and own your choices.

 

[tuffbunny]

@nurse_lorena Wow that first paragraph really applies to me and my friends. Nice to see it spelled out like that.

 

[chanticleera]

@nurse_lorena Yeah, very much this. I'd just straight up get new friends and roommates. I'm about as active as you, and I'm like, the least active person in my social circle. You need to surround yourself with people who have interests more like yours.

 

[dawn16]

@kmar123 Well then I’d ask for an explanation or tell them to stop. People making you self conscious is unacceptable.

 

[guerillaunit]

@kmar123 As someone who’s sadly sedentary these days this doesn’t even sound like too much to me, it sounds like my schedule when I’m feeling my best. I would focus on what makes you feel good too and not worry too much about little comments from others. It sounds like you’re reading your body and responding in healthy ways...just keep doing it! (and thanks for the bit of inspiration, too!)