My spin instructor made me cry!
- Thread starter cepha
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- female fitness
kimberly2012
New member
@cepha So, that's not okay. I've done several "boot camps" where there was similar aggression, but we all knew what we signed up for and enjoyed the day.
What you're describing is signing up for a suburban open house and walking into House of 1000 Corpses theme maze. Sure, some people may prefer that, but management should fucking warn you.
And even if the gym is run by people who don't see that behavior as problematic, I'll say this: I fight for fun and have been doing so for years; only one trainer was like that and he was the weakest, shittiest one.
What you're describing is signing up for a suburban open house and walking into House of 1000 Corpses theme maze. Sure, some people may prefer that, but management should fucking warn you.
And even if the gym is run by people who don't see that behavior as problematic, I'll say this: I fight for fun and have been doing so for years; only one trainer was like that and he was the weakest, shittiest one.
bevinluvwithjesus
New member
@cepha That is a style of training aka the Julian Michaels. Don't let it get to you, because it wasn't personal, she wasn't being mean...to you.
That was just a personality issue she has and found her meanness is accepted and celebrated in certain arenas like PT, coaching, military, etc.
The key thing here is you. You can't control her, but you can control you. You let her move you to tears, multiple times. You could have alternately just left the class. I do that for many reasons, and no explanation is necessary or even wanted.
I think you didn't because shows like the Biggest Loser makes people think it's ok to verbally abuse people in service of higher performance.
I'm sorry that happened to you. Chalk it up as a learning opportunity. You know what to do now so it won't happen again.
That was just a personality issue she has and found her meanness is accepted and celebrated in certain arenas like PT, coaching, military, etc.
The key thing here is you. You can't control her, but you can control you. You let her move you to tears, multiple times. You could have alternately just left the class. I do that for many reasons, and no explanation is necessary or even wanted.
I think you didn't because shows like the Biggest Loser makes people think it's ok to verbally abuse people in service of higher performance.
I'm sorry that happened to you. Chalk it up as a learning opportunity. You know what to do now so it won't happen again.
@haybble I didn’t know Julian Michaels is like that. It makes a lot of sense that my mom follows her workouts though. I definitely regret not leaving. I was terrified she would call me out for leaving too (and because as a kid, I had to stand there and take it until my mom was done screaming), but I should have just done it. I’m too old for that shit.
@cepha She's awful. I hated the show because they felt they needed to heap abuse on the participants to make for good TV and to push them beyond healthy limits.
But, again, there are people that like that sort of thing, so she's the trainer they like. It's their flavor so I don't knock it. They are 100% focused on performance and anything to eke it out is good to them.
(I have a different method for maximum performance and there are a lot of people that would prefer Julian over what I'm doing.)
In any case, I walk out of classes if they're too slow, I don't like the music, it's too crowded, I need to use the bathroom, I want to talk to a friend, I want a drink of water, I need to take a phone call...and on and on. I'm a grown woman. I don't need permission from the teacher to go to the bathroom. And if you stop to explain - well now you are being disruptive to the rest of the class.
If she said something, laugh and keep walking. You can't allow people to be so disruptive to your inner peace.
And don't regret. You learned something valuable today, that you have more power over how you experience other people than you think. I hope you feel much better about it now.
But, again, there are people that like that sort of thing, so she's the trainer they like. It's their flavor so I don't knock it. They are 100% focused on performance and anything to eke it out is good to them.
(I have a different method for maximum performance and there are a lot of people that would prefer Julian over what I'm doing.)
In any case, I walk out of classes if they're too slow, I don't like the music, it's too crowded, I need to use the bathroom, I want to talk to a friend, I want a drink of water, I need to take a phone call...and on and on. I'm a grown woman. I don't need permission from the teacher to go to the bathroom. And if you stop to explain - well now you are being disruptive to the rest of the class.
If she said something, laugh and keep walking. You can't allow people to be so disruptive to your inner peace.
And don't regret. You learned something valuable today, that you have more power over how you experience other people than you think. I hope you feel much better about it now.
@haybble This response has the effect of shaming a person for the legitimate emotional response a person has to their individual trauma. It is not OPs fault that this was a challenging experience for her. She's entitled to feel safe in a space where she had been led to believe grounds itself in a positive reinforcement and empowerment approach (previous instructors and classes). When triggers catch a person off guard they can be particularly disturbing.
@dawn16 That's a valid point.
That being said, she already has a ton of people soothing her hurt feelings.
She needs at least one to tell her how to easily avoid getting them hurt in the first place.
Not sure how to communicate that so it is easily accepted though, since there are a lot of people who are heavily invested in venting, and prefer that to having an actual solution.
My delivery is terrible, but my intentions are pure!
That being said, she already has a ton of people soothing her hurt feelings.
She needs at least one to tell her how to easily avoid getting them hurt in the first place.
Not sure how to communicate that so it is easily accepted though, since there are a lot of people who are heavily invested in venting, and prefer that to having an actual solution.
My delivery is terrible, but my intentions are pure!
@haybble I believe your intentions are pure 
if I may offer something for consideration please continue to read. I don't think anything about OPs post was inviting corrective advice. If OP IS in fact open to advice, best to do it in a way that acknowledges the suffering first and validates the emotional response. People need to feel heard and acknowledged authentically before all else. Without that, launching into criticism may fall on deaf ears. When a person is immediately defensive or feels that they need to be, anything that comes after is irrelevant because you've lost them before even getting started. Take what you need from my response (if anything) and leave the rest 
if I may offer something for consideration please continue to read. I don't think anything about OPs post was inviting corrective advice. If OP IS in fact open to advice, best to do it in a way that acknowledges the suffering first and validates the emotional response. People need to feel heard and acknowledged authentically before all else. Without that, launching into criticism may fall on deaf ears. When a person is immediately defensive or feels that they need to be, anything that comes after is irrelevant because you've lost them before even getting started. Take what you need from my response (if anything) and leave the rest 
@cepha I’m a group fitness instructor (Zumba, aqua aerobics, HIIT). The type of behavior you are describing is 100% unacceptable. To become an actual accredited group fitness instructor you would learn in your training that this type of “motivation” (I put motivation in quotes because being a jerk is not an actual way to motivate) is very inappropriate and ineffective. I couldn’t get away with behaving like this at any facility where I teach. In fact, it would outright break the code of conduct where I teach most of my classes now.
I’m sorry that that garbage pig of an instructor ruined your workout and made you feel bad. As an instructor, I want my students to feel empowered by their workout, and good about themselves when they’re done. It can be so hard for some to find the motivation to go to a gym and put a good workout in. Every single student of mine that makes the choice to show up already impresses me. I’m even more impressed by the folks there that are clearly near the beginning of their fitness journey, that struggle through the class, take extra breaks and use lots of modifications. I’ve been there (very out of shape and overweight starting out at the gym) and I remember how freakin hard it was to make it through each class. Much harder than it is for me now, up front teaching doing 100% of the moves at full intensity. Any instructor that ignores that shouldn’t be teaching.
I hope you can shake off this shitty class, and keep right back at it, with the better instructors. I highly encourage you to send feedback to management of the studio. The instructor definitely needs feedback and guidance on appropriate conduct.
I’m sorry that that garbage pig of an instructor ruined your workout and made you feel bad. As an instructor, I want my students to feel empowered by their workout, and good about themselves when they’re done. It can be so hard for some to find the motivation to go to a gym and put a good workout in. Every single student of mine that makes the choice to show up already impresses me. I’m even more impressed by the folks there that are clearly near the beginning of their fitness journey, that struggle through the class, take extra breaks and use lots of modifications. I’ve been there (very out of shape and overweight starting out at the gym) and I remember how freakin hard it was to make it through each class. Much harder than it is for me now, up front teaching doing 100% of the moves at full intensity. Any instructor that ignores that shouldn’t be teaching.
I hope you can shake off this shitty class, and keep right back at it, with the better instructors. I highly encourage you to send feedback to management of the studio. The instructor definitely needs feedback and guidance on appropriate conduct.