Relationships and CrossFit

[thesopranopiano]

@sherryanne Addiction of any kind is unhealthy.

Which is more important? CF or GF. Maybe you need to work on balance, off the bosu ball.

 

[jul1a]

@thesopranopiano That obsession is common amongst those who are top of their respective fields. Some find SOs who support it, others who tolerate it, and others who find new SOs.

OP needs to decide what's important to him. If he decides CF is priority number one that's his choice and there's nothing wrong with that. On the other hand there's going to be consequence with that choice

 

[forgivemejesus]

@sherryanne Dude! Do what makes you happy. Be your best version of you, the rest will take care of itself. We only get one shot at this place, no regrets.

 

[jbross]

@sherryanne This is something I have been struggling with recently myself. I don't spend 4-6 hours a day in the gym, but I have only been spending 90+ minutes a day by getting there a bit early to warm up and do some PT on my shoulders and staying a little after to do some extra work or cardio. I can't imagine spending twice as much time at the gym.

I think you have to balance time at the gym with time with your girlfriend. Perhaps get her to join you and have her try CrossFit as well. IMO, if you want to be a competitive athlete (even at a masters level) you will need a partner that either supports your goals or one that works alongside you.

You're gonna have to decide what is most important. For me, it's finding that balance. I know I'm not going to be competing at the games level, but I still would like to try some scaled events. I know I don't need to spend an enormous amount of time for this and it's going to be a while for me to be truly competitive. My wife supports my goals but doesn't always understand my commitment when she wants to do something during my workout time, so that continues to be a struggle. We continue to work on it and there is a bit of give and take there.

Have a serious conversation with her about your goals and what you want and how you think you can accomplish, but also accept responsibility and find time to balance your relationship and the gym if that's something you want to keep.

 

[branannabanana]

@sherryanne If you're feeling peer pressure to step back from training, ask yourself what your three top priorities in life are. Write down the top three, in order. As an example, my three are:

1. My spouse / family
2. My career (not CrossFit)
3. My training

I try to make every decision based on those three things and in that order. And those three things are all I can handle. In order to make that work, I have to wake up at 5:00am to train for two hours. That affects my spouse because I have to go to bed early and miss morning time at home, for example, but that is a sacrifice my spouse is willing to make at this time, so we're all on the same page.

I have a much smaller network of close friends than I used to and less time to do other things I enjoy, like reading, hiking, golf, etc. But that is a direct reflection of my three, and I'm confident that at this point in my life that is what I want to be doing.

Try it out and remember that your three can change over time. If one of your three is CrossFit, then you can make sacrifices to make that happen and you won't be easily swayed by others, one way or the other. But if it's not in your top three, don't let it get in the way of what is. It's not easy but it is simple!

 

[equay]

@sherryanne My partner is involved in a time-intensive competitive physical hobby. not CrossFit, but they probably put in about 12-20 hrs/week depending on time of year and what they have coming up competition-wise.

From this side of it, parts require significant compromise. They don’t make it to things like mid afternoon birthday parties or random social gatherings during their “on” season because they’re either training or recovering from training. There are weekends when I know I’m going to be hanging out alone or with a friend until they are done training. This of course is entirely individual and will depend if you’re someone who cares about that sort of thing or if your girlfriend cares (and how able you are to communicate with her about it)

Of course, it is really nice to be around someone who has a passion and is committed to something, they were involved in their sport before we got together so it wasn’t some surprise to me.

I think there’s no such thing as having everything in balance - you’re always going to make a sacrifice. If you’re spending more time training you’re going to sacrifice personal life for sure. Be upfront with your friends and girlfriend, don’t expect them to put their lives on hold if this is something you want to pursue tho.

 

[azdsweety]

@sherryanne If your dream is to compete in the games then by all means follow your dream. Otherwise, it's just a niche exercise.

 

[tcauthor]

@sherryanne This is literally the back story to success , if it’s what you want then don’t give up for anyone else

 

[taradawn]

@sherryanne Negative. Since CF gf has been touchy touchy on the beach muscles, squeezy squeezy on biceps, and looky looky on the defined abs. For some reason she remembers my CF schedule and reminds me to lifty lifty when lazy me about to skippy skippy

 

[sherryanne]

@taradawn

 

[sadnopi]

@sherryanne Keep doing what makes you happy. Your happiness trumps everything else. Trust me.

 

[swammerdami]

@sherryanne That's all relatively normal for people to say its too much. Lots of people don't work out at all or they go to a personal trainer a couple of times a week and believe themselves to be fit and at the limit of what is possible.

You have to listen to yourself really and do what makes you happy.

I personally train 4 hours or so a day myself.

Sometimes I go to the gym 3 times in a day to different gyms depending on how I feel.

I go to the gym at least twice 5 days a week. I have Sunday as a complete rest day and Thursday as a moving rest day probably a bit of cardio.

If you want to get somewhere you have to be focussed on your weaknesses though.

I cut my crossfit specific down to 3 to 4 days a week. Those days are 2 hour or more sessions.

I go to a specific Olympic lifting coach 2 days a week and I go the gym gym for strength 5 days a week.

Once my olympic lifting is where I need I will switch back to more crossfit or before the next open cut back on olympic lifting and just maintain and focus on fitness more.

Most people have no idea what is possible.... My family and friends tell me I am crazy all the time... i just go to the gym to relieve some stress from my job really. Not trying to take over the world..

 

[farout]

@swammerdami Lets see your open/quarterfinals scores.

 

[swammerdami]

@farout I am actually in the 40+ category. I was only in the 96th percentile this year and I didn't bother with the quarterfinals and got back to training.

It's tough to get through to the semis top 30 in the world... I am working towards the next time I tick over into the next age group and being ready for then.

I was in the 99th last year and my lifting let me down so I have been focusing on my lifting and my strength hence the 2 days a week lifting.

My rmus aren't good when I am tired. My handstand walks aren't good enough. My rope climbs are a work in progress for qf level. Fine for regular comps and the open but last year in the quarterfinals people really moved.

 

[swammerdami]

@farout What I found out last year was that there is a massive difference between top 200 in an age group and top 30.

It was humbling.. You cant have a weakness and it sent me off to find a proper weightlifting coach to sort that part out.

I cut back my crossfit a little... basically a 3 year plan to turn some weaknesses into strengths for another push.

 

[bigred009]

@sherryanne you're welcome to pursue what makes your heart happy, but good luck maintaining a social life/relationship if you choose to pursue being a professional athlete. to be a games athlete, you have to focus 100% on it and have your entire life revolve around that goal. if it's worth it to you, than cool, but just know you're not going to get much financial reward and it's a niche sport so outside of our little CF world no-one will even realize it as an accomplishment. is it something you're willing to lose relationships over, lose time with family, and possibly delay starting a career for? if so, enjoy the process, but if not, it's okay to not be a games athlete

 

[guitarguy2011]

@sherryanne Friendships are important. That being said, your friends need to respect your hobbies and personal journey.