Therapist wants me to accept myself at a bigger size

[havok22]

@66bookssss You clearly aren't happy with your current physical state, and props to you for looking to correct that. I can see where your therapist is coming from, but that doesn't mean that her views on weight are correct for you, and I absolutely see why you feel invalidated.

Perhaps do what you need to do to be *healthy*, rather than focusing only on weight? Cardio and strength training to improve your lower back and general fitness, and that might also improve the feeling of bloat; also healthy eating with enough protein for satiety and to support your body and the increased demands on it from exercise. Weight might very well come off as you improve your general health too.

 

[66bookssss]

@havok22 Thank you! I’m already doing Pilates which is great for my back and eating in a small calorie deficit as well focusing on protein etc. I’ve got that part of it all figured out but my body just can’t hold more weight on? I’m willing to do it all sustainably and I hope she can see that.

 

[havok22]

@66bookssss It sounds like you know what you're doing and you're well on your way. Excellent! Too bad the therapist can't see it, but your job isn't to persuade her. Since it's bothering you, consider asking her not to mention your weight ever again, and consider your options if she doesn't.

 

[66bookssss]

@havok22 Thank you! She’s helped me a lot with other areas of my life and the trauma that I went through when I lost my dad. That’s the reason that I mentioned that I wanted to lose weight finally after a long time and her response wasn’t great. I will talk to her again and see what she says.

 

[johnnyofnewyork]

@66bookssss You need a new therapist

 

[66bookssss]

@johnnyofnewyork No I don’t- she’s amazing and I’m with her because she helped with the trauma of losing my dad two years ago. I’ve been with her for 9 months now.

 

[jkcopeland43]

@66bookssss Fuck, I relate very much to what you’re feeling, and something quite similar actually happened to me with my therapist. Same situation. My therapist is great, but this is a woman that is clearly overweight. She walks in with Taco Bell and McDonalds every time before our sessions, telling me that I should just accept my new body and love myself.

I did not gain 20 pounds by eating healthy, I gained it through eating shit like McDonalds and neglecting myself. It is MORE self loving to practice discipline and deciding that you are not going to be slave to food.

You know what? Fuck what your therapist said. You’re not happy with your weight gain, and that’s okay. Perfectly okay. And you don’t have to “learn to love” your new body when you can change it. You clearly want to change it, you know how to, and YOU CAN.

Now I do think you should continue treating your body with respect and love during your weight loss journey, but by no means do you have to give up and just “accept” it. You mentioned you have a history with eating disorders.

Just don’t go overboard in that regard, you know? It can be a slippery slope. Eat for nourishment, and keep yourself in check. Find a professional or friend to support your weight loss, and someone to keep the ED behaviors in check. Healthy weight loss is possible, and you don’t have to give up on that.

 

[66bookssss]

@jkcopeland43 I feel so understood by your statement so thank you so much I’m not restricting myself at all- I am actually eating 2500 (roughly) calories to lose weight which is very sustainable for me and I’m doing gentle Pilates. I’m not happy with my body and I just wanted her to understand that.

 

[jkcopeland43]

@66bookssss That’s so great, I’m happy to hear you’re going about this gently You deserve to feel happy & healthy in your body