Therapist wants me to accept myself at a bigger size

[66bookssss]

@cannon513 Thank you but calorie counting saved me from my ED! People need to stop posting blanket statements. I do love my body and I’ve been at this higher weight for just over two years. My main issue was that she didn’t think I was overweight enough to want to lose weight. She said that if I was a size 20 then she’d think I needed to lose weight but not if I’m a size 10 (us)/size 14 (U.K.). I even told her how my back was hurting and I had more claustrophobia and my chest felt more heavy. My hormones are more out of balance too including insulin resistance issues. But simply because I’m not morbidly obese she didn’t take me seriously. Just really frustrating tbh!

 

[cannon513]

@66bookssss That does sound frustrating. I wonder what she’ll say when you bring it up to her. If you’re telling her about your back hurting and feeling heavy and hormones its surprising she’s not encouraging you to feel better.

 

[66bookssss]

@cannon513 Exactly…

 

[cannon513]

@66bookssss I think therapists put a lot of emphasis on body positivity as they should but there also needs to be a balance about not just body positivity but FEELING good in our bodies.

 

[66bookssss]

@cannon513 Yes and I’ve gone beyond the point of ignoring my body

 

[cannon513]

@66bookssss well confront her about all this and see what she says. and if she can’t get on board you can decide if you want to part ways

 

[irishamerican4christ]

@66bookssss First, accept that you gained weight. then, go to the gym and get a female gym trainer to work with you.

Its ok to accept yourself. it doesnt mean you will fail to lose weight.

if your therapist understands you want to lose weight, then theyre good. if not, just find a better one.

 

[isatis]

@66bookssss You can accept yourself at any size while still working to improve yourself, she probably means that you shouldnt hate and beat yourself up but still healthily work towards your goals

 

[66bookssss]

@isatis But I don’t hate myself and I’m not beating myself up. Where did I write that in my post? I’m nourishing myself and doing gentle exercise and other practices of self love.

 

[mursieme]

@66bookssss As a fellow former ED girl, acceptance is the first step in making a change. I gained 20lbs earlier this year. And the more I stressed and stressed about it the more the pounds kept coming. After accepting that my size had changed and it was probably gonna stay that way. My nerves calmed, and I was able to consciously make rational choices around diet and exercise.
I’m not a dr but here’s what I did.
Started intermittent fasting in June at 161lbs
Fasted from 8pm-noon the next day. Only coffee and water in fasting period.
Walked more, I put the heavy weights down and just walked every day.
Once I was SOLID in that routine for two months I started changing my diet.
This was for medical reasons: no gluten, soy, dairy, red meats or alcohol.
I’m down 18lbs since June. And I’ve paced down my exercise routine due to a procedure. Still losing weight even with no routine rn.

Be patient, buy some comfortable jeans and love who you are in this moment. Our bodies are amazing and can adapt so easily.
Access what changes you can make and the pace you implement. But the acceptance comes first and foremost. Good luck

 

[66bookssss]

@mursieme Thank you that was so inspiring

 

[kanelee5]

@66bookssss Is there a reason you’re opposed to working out and adding a healthy behavior opposed to taking away calories and living in a deficit

 

[66bookssss]

@kanelee5 Huh? I’m working out and eating in a deficit. It’s a small calorie deficit.

 

[kanelee5]

@66bookssss got it, didn’t see that in your post

 

[thereisnocake]

@66bookssss From your post, you might want to explore why you're so triggered by that comment. Would you have felt better if she shamed you the way you clearly feel ashamed and unhappy?

It sounds like a projection. Why do you need her approval to lose weight?

 

[66bookssss]

@thereisnocake There’s nothing wrong with wanting to lose weight! I look at my pictures and I look so puffy because I have PCOS it makes it worse.

 

[dawn16]

@66bookssss The same thing happened to me when I went to see a nutritionist. I was wearing a US size 10-12. As someone who was a size 4 before kids, I felt big and the back pain was real.
It sounds like you need a new therapist. I get “body positivity”, and maybe this is an unpopular opinion, but I’m someone who wonders how can anyone claim body positivity if they are not taking care of their body. It’s clear that you want to take care of your body and she has no right to invalidate that feeling.

 

[66bookssss]

@dawn16 Exactly I’m so glad that you understand!

 

[dawn16]

@66bookssss I would feel invalidated if my therapist said this, too.

 

[66bookssss]

@dawn16 Yes it was very frustrating but she apologised and now she understands my pov. She’s quite a big person herself and I wonder if it stemmed from there.