CrossFit Newbie Having Major Anxiety

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simplymeandhe

New member
I recently started doing CrossFit for the first time. I'm in my 30s. I didn't start regularly working out until I was in my late 20s. As a kid, I was never very athletic. My brother played sports while I took tap dance lessons and did musical theatre lol. I distinctly remember the first time I found out I had to go to something called "PE" (and subsequently had a panic attack). PE would continue to make me nervous AF in Jr. High. In High school I did Track for 2 years -- and I sucked at it, feigning an injury at one point so I could just sit things out. Strangely enough, in college, I was scouted to do crew. In practice I was embarrassed by how awful I was at running. I literally couldn't keep up with the rest of the team (this reminds me that in H.S. I showed up to the first day of track not knowing I needed actual running shoes and that converse weren't going to cut it). While on the crew team, I did, however, start to improve and my coaches noticed. But once again, my anxiety reared its ugly head. I panicked and quit after 1 semester, feeling like I couldn't do it.

When I started working out in my 20s, I did HIIT classes bc they were trendy. I liked them. They were challenging but in an approachable way. People were nice. There was a community. There were also lots of attractive people so that helped with motivation lol.

I eventually left my HIIT gym because the owners turned out to be shady. After the pandemic, I thought I would try just hitting up a regular gym on my own. That didn't work. Lack of motivation + social anxiety at the gym made it a no go. I had had a personal trainer before but I wasn't in a financial position to do that sort of thing again as the pandemic definitely hurt my professional life.

So I decided to give CrossFit a try. While the coaches and athletes have been overwhelmingly nice and helpful, I am having a ton of anxiety before every class. I feel like I'm back in school dreading PE, track practice, or Crew. I'm terrified I'm going to look a fool, mess up, or just generally embarrass myself. I know that probably sounds stupid. But, without fail, this panic comes up every time I'm about to go to a class. Some of it I think is just not being familiar with a lot of the movements. Another part of it may be being surrounded by some insanely fit athletes. But I also think some of it is these bad memories coming up.

I know the solution to get over or get through these awful feelings is probably just to keep going to classes and get more comfortable with the process. I just was surprised by the intense emotions this new fitness journey has triggered in me. I'm not sure why I'm sharing other than just to get it off my chest and maybe see if anyone else has experienced anything similar.

Thanks for letting me share. x
 
@simplymeandhe Oh i feel this all the time and I've been doing Crossfit now for 18 months (give or take a couple of pandemic months). I am a book worm. I'd rather be reading a book and drinking wine. I'm clumsy and uncoordinated. My coach is wonderful, the other athletes super supportive and I still get nervous attending some classes. And don't even talk to me about nerves doing the open workouts in a large group setting....I must have peed at least three times before each workout I was so nervous and anxious. I couldn't sleep either because I was worried about looking foolish. But I did the open workouts, badly 😂

Here are my techniques, for what they are worth:
I read and watch as much as possible so that nothing in the class comes as a surprise. My coach is awesome and does a video the night before (the 'brief before the brief') which helps me enormously. I feel better knowing what the intent of the workout is and what we are supposed to be doing. I do the 6:30am class so not always the sharpest first thing in the morning which adds to anxiety.
I've learnt to embrace being the class clown, yes I fall, I get stuck (trying to get out of bands for banded pull ups - ugh!), I DNF a lot of WODs, I scale and scale again. But I laugh at myself and make others laugh. I smile even when I want to cry with frustration and that helps to remind me, this is fun!
I come to class with the mindset that even showing up is an achievement, anything else that happens is a positive.
I've also made peace with the fact that my goal as a 41 year old is not to be the fittest it's to be able to attend Crossfit for 5 days a week until I'm dead. I enjoy the freedom of movement it brings, the community, the strength to lift heavy boxes and the ability to go for a long hike knowing I'll make it to the end!

Stick with it, it really does get easier, I no longer worry as much about whether people are watching me because I've realised we are all working at our own pace and no one cares if I no rep multiple times. Or that my 1RMs are a fraction of theirs, they are genuinely happy to see me progress and show up. My overhead squat 1 rep max is 20kg (44lbs) and I used to be embarrassed about that, but I've reframed my thinking around it. 2 years ago I couldn't even do an overhead squat. 6 months ago (& 2 lockdowns) my best was 8kg (17lbs). So that's something worth celebrating!!!

Seek help from a professional any time you need to!

Good luck!!
 
@toolsoftrust Seconding the idea of checking out the WOD the day before and googling it. If your box doesn’t do videos, you’ll find tons on YouTube. Then at least you’re not worrying about what the alphabet soup on the board means or the difference between a power clean and a muscle clean. Welcome and good luck.
 
@smultronst%C3%A4llet I makes the world of difference! When I started I got totally confused by the alphabet soup (love this!!) - power clean, hang power clean, clean and jerk, muscle clean 🤯🤯🤯 I felt like the member of the dance troop that was always a few seconds behind as I figured out what move was next 😂🤣
The YouTube videos really help!
 
@toolsoftrust Are you me? 41f book loving, uncoordinated “wine mom”. I’ve tripped on box jumps, hit myself in the chin doing strict presses, tripped over kettlebells, and pee myself jumping rope. All that, and having the best time of my life just showing up 5-6x week, pushing myself hard but not to the point of injury, and laughing at myself every day. Not taking myself seriously has been the key to not being embarrassed. Nobody else cares!
 
@dawn16 Twins!! 😂😂 The bruises I get in odd places are something else. I once got my tights stuck getting off the assault bike mid WOD!! Accidentally hit myself on the inner thigh doing KB swings.... The stories we can tell!

I'm with you, It really is the best fun. I love that every week I get to try new things and every day I'm surprised by what I can do!
 
@simplymeandhe I hear you and understand. You are 10000% not alone in this feeling. As others have said, it will for sure get easier when you are more comfortable in the movements. Watching videos at home helped me remember the difference between a Power Clean and Hang Clean and all that stuff. Also, focus on your goals. I’m assuming you aren’t trying to be a competitive athlete, just a healthier, happier person. Work towards that! You don’t have to be best in class or even finish every workout to meet that goal. Remember that nobody else cares what you do or how you finish- they are just proud of you for showing up. Hang in there. More than anything else, CF has helped with my anxiety in giving all that energy a place to go and helping me get out of my head and into my body. You got this!
 
@simplymeandhe I remember the anxiety I had before walking into my gym the first day, I pushed the pull door and thought it was locked and just sat there until someone told me to pull. I almost left and never went back. Glad I did though. Now I'm there 5-6 days a week and I can tell you I love it when new people join, it's exciting and I honestly never notice when they fuck up or don't know what they're doing, I'm too busy trying not to fuck up and or die.
 
@simplymeandhe When I first started and did the "fundamentals/onboarding/basics", I already had more basic knowledge than the others in my class plus I have good body awareness and learn quickly so for those 3 weeks I was ahead of everyone. After I finished fundamentals I went to my first 'regular' class and suddenly I felt sooo behind in everything. I couldn't even do the 400m warm up run. I couldn't imagine every being able to keep up. I got anxious before every class. I would check the WOD every day and cherry pick the ones I thought I had the best chance at. And that's okay. I needed time to get comfortable and get in a new routine.Eventually I realized the only person judging me, was myself. As I learned more and got better, I stopped cherry picking WODs and actually wanted to work on my weaknesses. I'm still nowhere near doing any WODs RX and I don't know if I ever will be, but I'm improving consistently and getting a good workout, that's all that matters.

Also I have personally had and witnessed many 'embarrassing' moments. I've fell straight on my butt, hit my chin with the bar while cleaning, fell off the rower once, snapped myself with a band. I just laugh it off and try again. Shit happens
 
@simplymeandhe I hear you and I understand what you are saying but it’s not rooted in truth. Everyone in the class is there to support and encourage you and help you become the next version of you. As such it is IMPOSSIBLE to “ look a fool, mess up, or just generally embarrass myself”

I know it’s hard but take a deep breath and remember everyone else there is also afraid of looking like a fool so chances are they aren’t going to notice if you happen to do it first 🙂

If you don’t believe me, go back and watch the games! Even the elite athletes are cheering the other on and encouraging (a prime example was last years WODapalozza, a female swimmer swam the wrong way and the crowd/other competitors still cheered her on!)

You can do this and you have an entire community behind you
 
@simplymeandhe Welcome to the community, first of all. The sport always needs an influx of new members and everyone gets something different out of it. The thing to remember with CrossFit is that while you may be in a class with other people, really every workout is a battle with Your self. You find your walls. You have days you don’t feel well. You get hundreds of new movements that you don’t know exactly how to do. And then something magical happens. You stick with it. You grind hard. You crush those walls. You grow with the community. And best of all, you learn to believe in yourself. Who knows, you may be able to tackle your anxiety as well. It will get addicting and know that once you do become addicted, you will tell everyone around you about the amazing community that is crossfit.

Every single one of us started where you’re at. We didn’t know anyone. We had no idea what to do. We knew nothing about crossfit other than from the outside, it seemed like a cult haha.

Stick with it. You’ll meet some amazing people, and you’ll hit personal milestones you’ve never thought possible. But only if you stick with it and keep your discipline.

welcometothecult​

 
@simplymeandhe I don’t go to CrossFit, but my gym is a similar concept. Some people lift far more weight than me and go many more times per week. But the way I look at it, it’s good because everyone is competing against themselves and their own personal limits. When they’re breathing out of their arse they don’t give a shit what else is going on. That’s the beauty of it, you work to your own limit and that’s all that matters.

Believe me if it’s anything like my gym, everyone at the gym wants you to do well, too.
 
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