How do you bounce back to fitness after a bad mental health day/week/month/year?

@christineleex3 Girl, same. My dad passed away, I've been unemployed, anxious, and depressed for the past two and a half years. I've been working out semi consistently again since January of this year. Here's what I did to get started(in order of importance imo):
  1. It's important to remember that it took years of (unintentional, of course) neglect to get to the point where you are right now and that it will most likely take years of intentional diligence to get back to where you started. For me, this was a great mindset shift, because at the tail end of 2021, I was putting a lot of stress on myself, thinking about quick ways to return to how I looked/felt before. Instead, it freed me up to think about it as a two year project. Rather than myopically focusing on one week at a time, it was helpful to think about the near future in 3-6 month periods, so I could focus just on a few goals at once. Speaking of...
  2. I actually wrote out my fitness goals. Make these your north star. These will help remind you of why you want to stay active in the first place. Be open to looking at and editing them whenever you are coming out of a low (or when you get bored or achieve one of them). Examples of my initial fitness goals were: a) to be able to comfortably hike 10 miles again, b) have better sex 1. (TMI, soz), as I was getting very fatigued being on top lol, c) work on being better at jumping, something I've always been frustratingly bad at, d) be able to do 5 bodyweight pull-ups (still working on this), e) stay healthy into old age by working on bone density, as I turned 25 during the pandemic, generally considered the begin of the gradual decline of bone density which leads to osteoporosis and increases the rate of bone fractures as women age, and f) avoiding injury. As you can see, some of these are quantifiable, like the pull-ups and mileage, but the other ones are just sort of body stewardship. I won't be able to tell whether or not I've achieved my goal of preventing osteoporosis until I am done with menopause and I can compare myself to my peers, but I can start considering the things I will probably deal with at some point in my future.
  3. I committed to getting a gym membership for 6 months, from January 2022 to the end of June*. Before stepping foot in the gym, I made a plan. There are tons of resources on how best to utilize the gym, but my focus was on strength training through lifting weights for the aforementioned bone density benefits. I read a few Men's Health articles on best compound weightlifting exercises and put together a general plan with sets and reps. I tried them all out to figure out my baseline, and kept a google sheet with what my warmup and max weights were. My plan was going to the gym 3x per week for 1 hour.** If I finished a workout before my allotted hour, I would jump on a treadmill and walk for 10-30 min, usually listening to a podcast. Lifting weights increases your overall fitness and grip strength.*** Other days, if I chose to, I would do a youtube pilates/barre/yoga/dance class or go for a hike. This structure was a great starting point because I gave myself a whole half year where this was where I spent most of my "exercise time" which allowed me to have off days/weeks where I already knew what I needed to do the next time I went. It kept me from feeling like I was constantly needing to start from 0, especially since it takes quite a long time to lose muscle definition once you build some up. So even if I forgot every to go every Monday for a month, I could still pick up from the last time.
  4. After the 6 months were over at my gym, I chose to quit it because I wanted to spend more time during the summer outside. It's very temperate where I live, so summers are like 65 degrees and sunny the whole season. I used this time to increase my walking fitness. I set an alarm every weekday at 12:30p (working from home) to walk a mile loop in my neighborhood. It takes me 15-20 minutes every time. Most of the time I would just listen to a podcast. Sometimes I would call a family member or listen to music. It was great because one of my neighbors has a front yard full of grapes, so I got to see them go from tiny clusters to full on purple grapes. It was very healing to be able to see something grow. Now that it's fall, the persimmon trees in people's yards are getting very orange and laden with fruit. It makes me happy to see the passing of time by going on my little loop around my area.
  5. Find other fitness projects that inspire you. Sign up for a tango class! Learn krav maga! Go on a yoga retreat! It often feels like there is a right way to work out, and that if you aren't actively trying to progress, you are not exercising correctly. So it's good to try new stuff that you'll be bad at. It will build new mind-body connections, as well as keep your brain elastic. A plus sized model I follow on Instagram was posting vacation photos on her story and said that she went for like a 5 mile run on vacation, and shared that (prior to me following her) last year, she used the free Nike Run Club app to train for a half marathon, never having run before in her life. This was a huge inspiration to me, as I have always really sucked at running and assumed that bigger people couldn't fun unless they have a natural proclivity for it. 6 weeks later and I've been going on 6.5 mile runs. I attribute that this was possible only because of the 8 prior months of working out. It's wild because I was not at all what one would call consistent at the beginning of the year. Even now, I took a week off of running all together because I went on a weeklong vacation.
  6. Ask your friends to teach you whatever they happen to be into. One of my friends took me surfing a few times this summer (surprisingly inexpensive. It was $35 to rent a big foam board and wetsuit for the day). Another has similar sized feet and she lent me some roller skates and we roller skated near her house. Likewise, invite your friends to join you for something you like to do. Sharing experiences was something we all missed out on during the past few really hard years. Reconnect with people and go do stuff together. It'll keep the exercise fun.
  7. I repaired my bicycle and try to use it any time I'm going to a friend's house (within 5 miles) for the evening, or going to read at a coffee shop on a weekend. I hadn't used it since university but cycling was something my dad loved (he passed away late 2020 from cancer), so it makes me feel more connected to him when I do force myself to bike instead of drive or walk. Plus I get to pat myself on the back for the environmental aspect, as well as doing something athletic that I wouldn't have done before.
*BTW this wasn't a New Year's Resolution. My dad passed away in December 2020, so when I was going through the grief, I basically told myself that I shouldn't think about any of this stuff at all for a whole year, as I was really going through it. I was still grieving deeply at the end of the allotted year, but I was clearheaded enough to start planning, and during January, the gym I wanted to join was having a $0 initiation special, so I figured I should jump in.

** Monday was always upper body push (dips, bench press, shoulder press, lateral shoulder raises, and chest fly), Wednesday was always lower body (back squat, Romanian Deadlift, dumbbell split squats, hip thrust, ab- and adductors, and box jumps), and Friday or Saturday was always upper body pull (assisted pull-ups, rows, and curls). Those days never changed and if I missed one, I wouldn't push my other workouts to make up for the one I missed. If I missed Wednesday's lower body, I wouldn't go on Thursday, I would just go on Friday for Pull Day and would do lower body the following Wednesday. IMO this is the best way to do it, because it feels like such low stakes. I never have to "make up" a workout, I just have to pick up from the last time I lifted.

*** My partner is very into climbing. I go with him one time per month on his gym's free day, to bond with him over his favorite hobby. I really don't like climbing, because I am bad at it. Before I started lifting, I could barely go up a V0 (which is basically a ladder). 9 months later (aka literally 9 times climbing later, with no effort to figure out technique or footwork, I can do V2s. That's measurable progress that literally came up obliquely. I didn't train at all for climbing, it was just something that became much easier once I had baseline strength.
 
@scsethiopia i just wanted to say i found this comment today after being in a slump for about two years, and it really helped me. like, actually made me feel like i could get up and do something.

also, i’m so sorry for your loss- i hope you’re taking things day by day and being patient with yourself
 
@scsethiopia Girl, your comment feels like a big hug for my brain. I’ve read it 3 times over and then copy and pasted it into a note so my phone could read it to me while I was driving. Thank you for taking the time to break down and explain your experience, priorities, why you did what/and what has worked for you. This is so, so helpful and relatable and would hug you (consensually!) if I could!!
 
@sppmg Text to speech is an accessibility GOD SEND. My flavor of ADHD can make reading large bodies of text (articles, books, etc), borderline impossible because my brain skips words and jumps between lines and paragraphs 😵‍💫. Sometimes listening instead can make all the difference!
 
@christineleex3 I have ADHD as well and I get so hyper focused on not trying to kill us when driving ugh trying to live is so damn hard and we have to stop beating ourselves up.
I can't read I mean I skip or read the damn thing over again and then forget so yeah listening would make my life better but I never connected that 😂 thanks you know we have so many challenges just to get out the damn door!
You rock and you take good care of yourself!
 
@christineleex3 internet hug I'm glad it resonated. Your post def spoke to me when I read it. Grief + mental health can be dibilitating and it's always so hard to dust ourselves off and try again. I hope we all have long and healthy lives so all this exercise we do keeps us mobile into really old age!!
 
@christineleex3 Hi! I have bipolar and OCD. Here are some things that have helped me:

Start slow! Don't try to jump back into where you were before you took a break, you'll just get frustrated. Getting started at all counts more than doing long workouts, lifting very heavy things, or any other sort of progress. See if you can do something gentle a few days to build your routine.

Find something that makes you happy. That can be type of exercise, or however you distract yourself during a workout. Find a great audiobook, make a new hype-up playlist, try a new class or YouTube channel.

Find ways to exercise that are hard to put off. When I'm depressed, I don't feel like doing anything and I make excuses. A long run seems impossible, but I'm open to doing a ten-minute full body stretch or working with resistance bands while I watch Netflix.

Commit to ten minutes instead of anything longer. Even if I don't feel like a run, my logical brain knows that I'll feel better after I do one. So I lace up my sneakers and commit to ten minutes; if I feel like crap, I totally give myself permission to quit. But more often than not, that's long enough for my brain to say "hey, this actually doesn't suck" and keep going.

Measure your progress. Come up with some metrics for wherever you're at now (distance, time, how much you can lift), and set a goal for where you want to be in a month or two. I find it very motivating to reach for that!

Sign up for an event, even a virtual one. I do really well when I train with a deadline in mind, even though I get really anxious about big events! Virtual events are great for this, like "bike 100 miles in November" or a virtual 5k on Thanksgiving. Plus getting some swag is always a great motivator!
 
@christineleex3 My husband and I often refer to a study done regarding lifting weights for 3 seconds a day, so when either of us is down/not feeling it we’ll shout “3 seconds a day!” and do a few pushups or squats. Sometimes that’s all we do. A lot of times we then wind up working out a little more.

As others have said - just showing up even for a little bit.
 
@christineleex3 Something I haven't seen mentioned yet is ... Doing it multiple times. Yes, that's hard to force implementation of, but now that I've been someone who cares about fitness for years and years, I recognize that life ebbs and flows. There are times where fitness just isn't my priority - I've started a new job, or moved, or picked up a new hobby, made a few friend, had to focus on other parts of my health, life, or family, etc , and my attention to the gym wanes. But consistently I have found my way back to it and knowing that I've done it before, even if I've currently lost it, actually bolsters me instead of discourages me. It's only a matter of time!
 
@christineleex3 First, sorry for your loss. I lost my mom 3 years ago. It sucks and grief unfortunately does not have a timeline. Some days you feel fine and some days you can't get out of bed and it's just like that for what seems like far too long. You REALLY have to take it day by day some days ALL of your energy will be focused on grieving, while its nice to have a routine listen to your body. I found pushing harder on bad days would make everything worse (I flipped a row machine in a crossfit class) You will figure this out, grief becomes manageable and a sense of a "new normal", but god its a slow fucking process.
 
@christineleex3 I am having this struggle currently. I don’t do well working out alone so the pandemic really wrecked me. I’m starting slow, signed up for a once a week Pilates class at the local community college. Having a set time to attend gives me some structure. I know once I start going I’m going to feel that good muscle soreness that gives me a sense of accomplishment and hopefully some more motivation. I know exercise and eating better will help me dig out of this hole, but I’m having a very hard time finding any spark of energy.
 
@christineleex3 Recently I’ve been consciously setting one “fun” thing to do each week that’s outside of my normal routine. One Friday I took the morning off and met my dad at a casino (we live two hours apart so met in the middle), this week I went to office-themed trivia with a friend.

Maybe you could do something similar with fitness? Like try a workout class you’d never do, ask a friend for a walking friend date instead of sitting in a coffee shop
 
@christineleex3 I can empathize as I come from a similar background.

The biggest thing for me is something I hear a lot of, but just showing up is what matters. After coming out of a low point where I haven't done anything, just going for a walk does wonders. Putting on a 5 min yoga video. Doing 5 bodyweight squats. Just anything to get the blood going. Afterwards, I feel a lot better and am more inclined to do some more workouts. Sometimes, a little nudging helps rather than going all in.

I also try not to put a lot of pressure on myself too (lol it's hard) and try to focus on what I can do in that moment, instead of worrying about all the stuff I'm not doing.

Also, make it fun! I put fun upbeat music while exercising (I'm convinced that the music pumps me up), wear an awesome outfit, etc. Or just put some music on and dance!

This goes for nutrition as well, since I'm prone to forgetting about it when not working out. Small changes are better than trying redo everything. Still indulge, but try it in smaller amounts. Eat the healthy stuff that you know you like rather than forcing yourself with stuff you don't.
 
@greenviolets This comment feels like a gentle pep talk I would try to give myself and then blow off, but hearing it from someone else somehow feels like the most encouraging thing eevverrrr. Thank you for this!
 
@christineleex3 Following up on this, you don't have to be in the right clothes or the right space to do an exercise. If you're in your pjs you can do a stretch in the morning if you feel like it. Maybe do a little down dog in your jeans before you leave the house, stc
 
@christineleex3 I find that going to fitness classes (especially ones that I have to pay for) is really effective when I'm depressed. It's easy to make the little choice to buy the class online and then having paid for it I have an extra motivation to go. It also helps if it's something like yoga which makes me feel better but isn't a huge, hardcore exercise commitment+if it's an instructor I know, so I know that they'll miss me if I don't go!
 
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