How do you make exercise not about weight loss?

uticus

New member
I feel like as a woman for me exercise always has like an underlying weight loss aspect. Like I’ll without meaning to think oh I don’t want to do xyz but it’ll help lose some extra lbs get in shape for summer ect.

The few times I’ve got in actual good shape slim/strong, I had another goal. Like years back training for things or one year I was recovering from an injury, and all my walking/workouts where focused on recovering not anything to do with weight.

Oddly enough that year I got super fit and had no idea haha. I didn’t own a scale and I look the same to myself most times bigger or smaller I only noticed when people starting telling me, and all my clothes fit better.

So my question is: for the ladies that got to the point where fitness is more about relaxing or mental health or goals, how did you get there?

Also sorry if this is jumbled I’m trying to write out my thoughts and it’s proving difficult lol.

I’ve started walking and I’m loving it I’m only doing about 1.5 miles now in the morning but I’d like to build to 3 (I hate running so walking is it for me haha).

I love Pilates too.
 
@uticus For me, I started focusing on non-asthetic related goals. I focused on running half marathons and beating my 5k PR. I focused on increasing my deadlift and bench press PRs. I paid attention to how I felt before and after exercise, and how i felt when I didn't work out for a while. I realized how powerful I felt when I lifted weights regularly. And I also think getting older helped as well. The older I get the less I care what others think, and it's so freeing.
 
@uticus My mom is now dealing with the results of having no muscle mass and not exercising and it’s not good to see. That has motivated me to add more strength training to my fitness routine and start building those habits. It’s also good for my mentality about exercise. If I miss one workout when I’m trying to lose weight fast, it feels like the end of the world and I should just give up. If I miss one workout in a long term plan to maintain my health, well what’s one workout over a lifetime? Just gotta keep plugging away
 
@helper_pni You might think about also adding in some balance training. I did that after two of my grandparents had falls and broke a hip. I decided while I was still relatively young that I didn't want that to happen to me as I got older. So I started specifically spending a bit of time working on balance. There's lots of ways to do this. Sometimes I stand on one foot while doing upper body work with free weights (bicep curls, tricep kickbacks, etc). I also stand on one foot while washing my hands after using the restroom. I don't do much yoga, but many yoga poses have a balance element.
 
@cerri Grip strength is a good one too. Helps prevent damage from falls, or stops a fall.

Last week I just saw a video of 55-95 year old people doing gymnastics. 😯
 
@helper_pni My mom (60s) is starting to look small in the way older women tend to if they don’t maintain muscle. I saw her last week and had her do my silly hotel gym workout with me, her using 5 lb weights if any. It was so cute 🥹 but also I’m thankful I’ve started building the lifelong routine even though I started late (30)
 
@bigork Absolutely! I’ve tried for years to get my mom (89) to do an easy chair yoga routine that I love. She needs to do something to just keep her joints mobile but she doesn’t want to. I’m also watching my older sister (64) decline in mobility and health because she almost never leaves her recliner. I’m 57 and not going to spend the next 30 years slowly getting weaker. I’m strong and working to get stronger every day. I wish I had managed to make it a habit when I was in my 30s but better late than never! 💪🏼🏋🏻‍♂️
 
@christiangirl2002 This is great. Can you share your chair yoga routine? I am also trying to get my mom to do chair yoga as I just want her to do something to see it's possible! She's 50 and already on oxygen. It's so sad to watch the people you love decline in their health like that everyday. It is definitely motivating to keep getting stronger though.
 
@helper_pni My mom too, and my aunt, and my late grandma. Plus my father died of heart disease at 60.

It's nice to get aesthetic benefits from working out, but I'm doing it to be strong and healthy as long as I can. I'm 58, I'm in menopause, and last week I helped a neighbor carry a heavy piece of furniture into her apartment - after I'd done my long workout. Today I'm assembling a bedframe and attaching my old headboard to it and probably rearranging the furniture in the guest room. I'm hoping to go on a long hike in Japan - next year if I can afford it. My goals are to do MORE badass stuff.
 
@helper_pni That last bit is so good. This is exactly what it’s about. It’s easier to see that picture more clearly when you’re older and have some decades on you, but framing it that way even when you’re still young is the ticket.

One of my great-grandmothers had severe osteoporosis. I was scared to death of her as a little kid because she was in so much obvious pain. Later I worked in nursing homes with very frail elderly women, and then eventually developed fibromyalgia after a yoga injury and spent 20 years trying to figure out how I could exercise without hurting myself more. All of that has really shaped my own view of physical activity as something that supports the rest of your life, and in order to keep doing it, it has to stay in that role, you know? If you overdo, you fuck up your body, and if you don’t do anything at all, you’re still fucking it up. You have to value everything else in your life, and yourself, enough to tell whatever demons you have in your head whispering that you’re not thin enough or tough enough or whatever enough to stand down, and just keep focusing on how you feel and what you can do, and place that in a larger life context.

I can’t say that I’ve never been able to get totally past the aesthetic aspect of exercise - we’re all socialized from the time we’re little to focus on that to the exclusion of nearly anything else, so it’s hard to get away from, and that’s not on us. But I make a conscious decision to compartmentalize that part. No scale, no lingering over my reflection in mirrors, making a genuine effort to focus on my overall health. It takes practice, but like anything, it gets easier with time.
 
@uticus I’ve switched my mentality to thinking about my body more like a garden. Rome and gardens weren’t built in a day, and my gardens certainly need to be nurtured to thrive best. Doing weeding and sowing seeds takes time, as does all the hard work I put into my body. I also find I’m more forgiving of myself with this way of thinking too. Sometimes you don’t always get to weeding. That’s okay; just get back to it! No need for self punishment. I always feel better when I end up working out now, and that feeling is satisfying.

I’m not always perfect thinking this way, but it’s kept me the most consistent I’ve been and seeing results has been motivating, albeit slow. I’ve barely lost weight the last year (15ish lbs?) but the recomp makes me look like I’ve lost a lot more and everyone keeps telling me I’m looking good. Between that and how much better my clothes feel, I just ignore the scale now.

Hope this is helpful!
 
@skitta I love this! Wonderful analogy. 🌲🌳🌿☘️🍃🌱
This also has me thinking with a garden over time figuring out what type of soil you're dealing with as its nutrient levels change over time (needs changing), and how to best feed the plants in ways that don't completely eventually deplete the soil. In terms of types of exercises and ways of working out that have less long term cost, and more payoff over time. 😃

It's also easier to start to focus on long term health as I watch my father age, and experience with him all aging brings.

Having relationships with older people/different types of people offers perspective as to different ways of looking at life and living. It becomes easier to view fitness through the locus of health and longevity. 💞
 
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