How to deal with missing out socially because of workouts?

[haithai01]

I work 8-5, then M/T/W/F/S I go to the gym for 1-1.5 hours around 6pm. By the time I’m out, home, protein, and showered I miss a lot of my friends activities like going out to eat or trivia night.

I can’t be the only one. How do y’all mentally deal with FOMO in favor of your routines?

 

[mippop]

@haithai01 I lift 4 days and plan my rest day for trivia night lmao

 

[horified1]

@haithai01 This sounds exactly like my schedule. I get up at 5 AM and go to work at 7:30-6:00 sometimes I stay later it just depends on emergencies (I work at a veterinary hospital). I go to the gym around 7:30 PM and don’t make it home til 9:30-10, after I get home I eat and shower and end up going to bed around 11 or 12. I don’t have a social life besides seeing some folks at the gym. I do this 5 days out of the week. It’s hard.

 

[dawn16]

@haithai01 I actually do not have friends bc I have my husband, my immediate family, and have a job where I have to talk and be more outgoing than I like. I am an introvert and really thrive on relaxing with my husband at home on weekends. Going out w his friends is a chore but I do it sometimes just to push myself.

 

[platina]

@haithai01 Like other folks, I plan workouts to accommodate fun. I work out early morning or quick workout during lunch. I also might adjust me week or skip a workout in order to go out. I don't see any problem in being focused on your workout but as with everything it is about what you choose to prioritize and sometimes you do have to make a choice. Sometimes that is a good workout and sometimes it is a fun social night with friends!

 

[ashleynicoleyoung2016]

@haithai01 Because my workout is rock climbing and requires a partner, it doubles as my social life.

 

[ally143]

@ashleynicoleyoung2016 I purposely pick social sports to account for this!

 

[christians]

@haithai01 I do martial arts, so I at least have social ish time with people in class. I don't see my other friends nearly as much as I used to though.

 

[bertchen]

@haithai01 I workout in the morning to avoid having no social life. Of course, I go to bed early, so I tend to leave things early but at least I do have some social life.

 

[thehindubrahmin]

@bertchen This so much. Easiest and most convienent to set aside early morning when there are less life events scheduled in.

 

[catqueen]

@haithai01 For sure. Luckily I’m 30 and most of my friends are married. Whenever anyone asks to hang out I get a little nervous, but I take a night off once a week or see them on weekends. Waking up early doesn’t work for me because i have sleep issues.

 

[dawn16]

@haithai01 Work out in the mornings on days that there’s evening plans?

Do a shorter workout when there’s evening plans?

Move a fri/Sat workout to a Thursday so you have the whole evening off?

 

[dawn16]

@haithai01 Are you able to do shorter workouts once a week to go out with friends, or switch your rest days? I feel like some people feel like they NEED to be at the gym for over an hour to get in a good workout, but depending on what you're doing you could definitely accomplish it in a shorter amount of time.

My gym sessions have always been 30-45mins, only going longer if I'm doing a class (like when I did Zumba).

When I was lifting heavy I used to deadlift/squat/bench etc (mostly following SL5x5 that worked for me) and feel great without spending half my night at the gym. I put on muscle mass and got stronger with no problem.

I think part of being healthy of mind and body is also keeping a balance of working out and spending time socially. You can make good food/drink choices while out with friends that won't wreck your calorie intake completely, and can also still find time to get your gym on.

 

[raychael]

@haithai01 I've just come to accept that I will miss some social activities. I also work full-time (demanding job too, often take work home), go to the gym right after work or right before (depending on my husband's schedule) and I also have a 5-year old. I just can't do it all so I don't. My priorities are my family + my health. I do select social activities and not all

 

[bettyraene]

@haithai01 This is going to get downvoted to shit and I know it, but I just have to say it.

It worries me that so many people act like your social life is nothing and easily dismissed for "fitness/career/nuclear family goals." I'm all for working towards what you want, developing a routine and good habits, etc. but there's a happy medium that can be reached. Making any one thing - your spouse, your job, your routine - the center of your universe to the exclusion of all else is not healthy.

To me it says something about the quality of your friendships (or your perception of them at least) if you find those folks so disposable from your life and about your priorities as a person on a whole host of levels. It's scary to me in general how willing to have no substantial human connections a lot of people are, beyond maybe immediate family and their SO, and when I see people saying things like their friends "get in the way" of their gym routine I'm sort of like....wtf?

Friends should be an important part of your emotional and mental well-being, a support system, etc. If I felt like blowing them off regularly so I can have 1% less body fat or whatever was my priority that would really make me question who I was as a person. I certainly don't know anyone with little to no healthy social life (key word being healthy, because of course toxic people/behaviors aren't really helpful to us) who is a happy person and this includes all sorts of folks who have "checked out" of their social circles for a host of reasons.

Humans are social animals. Just my two cents and probably a lot more "deep" and preachy than OP was looking for, but it was in my head skimming the comments.

 

[iam1me]

@bettyraene Thank you! It's scary how many people are like "you don't need friends, as you get older you might just not have friends anymore." What?! Most people need friends and prioritizing them (not necessarily more than the gym but at least almost as much) is important. I am in my late 20s and I have friends I make time for. My parents are in their late 50s and they have friends they make time for. Having the right kind of people in your life is worth putting some energy into.

 

[bettyraene]

@iam1me Thank you! I watched my parents and grandparents grow more and more isolated and more and more miserable as they got older.

 

[amytai]

@bettyraene Glad this isn't getting downvoted to shit because you make some very good points that aren't brought up very often in these kinds of discussions!

I completely agree that friends should not be seen as disposable and should be valued, as should the time with them and I think few except the most extreme here would argue with that. I think the root of the issue is that we often look at this issue in black and white because gym time is usually seen as a routine that is best left "unbroken" and "priority." But that just can't always be the case, and in reality for most people, it isn't.

There's no singular way to find the balance but I think:

1. Anyone that completely breaks off from their friends because otherwise they can't find time to go to the gym has a priorities issue
2. Anyone that can't find time to go to the gym because they're spending so much time with friends most likely also has a priorities issue.

 

[bettyraene]

@amytai Well said.

 

[bubblegum2021]

@bettyraene Very well put. I so often read anecdotes of people who - after getting into fitness - started negating all other aspect of their life. You sometimes have to sit down and think it through, where will this get me on the long term.