My roommates keep calling me gym obsessed.

[ligerheart25]

@kmar123 I wonder if your roommates are wishing you would spend a bit more time with them.

 

[kmar123]

@ligerheart25 not sure.. after this conversation one of them left for the entire weekend with her bf, the other left to a bar with friends, and only one stayed home (it’s 4 of us in total). the one that stayed is the least vocal about this topic (we talk a lot about working out actually, she’s following a daily program so we usually share tips, talk about equipment and whatnot)

 

[forgivenkali]

@kmar123 Crabs in a bucket.

 

[anne%C3%A7y]

@kmar123 Unless you're spending 4-5 hours in the gym 5-6 days a week, this mostly sounds like a difference in values/priorities and a difference in personal management, not a problem going to the gym. It sounds like you're just more active than they are, and maybe they're trying to divert you because your level of activity makes them feel guilty or something.

If you're spending literally all of your free time at the gym, maybe you could peel off a few hours to pick up a new hobby. But even then, working out is a hobby for a lot of people, not a chore like many treat it. If it makes you happy and it's not affecting your social or personal life, other than your friends being dismissive/unsupportive, then it doesn't sound bad.

 

[kmar123]

@anne%C3%A7y Yeah I believe it’s a difference in values tbh. I usually spend one hour at the gym, sometimes an hour and a half if I feel like dedicating a lot of time to cooling down and stretching (which I love to do). Weekends are always full of socializing and catching up so that’s not an issue.

Something I’ve realized with this post is that maybe we unconsciously see as “obsessed” the people that work out more than us, even if it’s completely normal and healthy for them. I’ve fallen victim of this and I’m realizing it just now, I’m definitely gonna try and be more mindful of it from now on.

 

[need]

@kmar123 I work out 4-6 days a week at the gym. It's my happy place.

What else are you supposed to do? Watch telly?

 

[kmar123]

@need haha yes, when I said I was going to the gym bc I was bored they were like “you can watch Netflix tho!?”. Which I would have done if I didn’t feel like moving. But I DID feel like moving, so.. idk what’s so wrong about it

 

[jouaint]

@kmar123 I used to get these comments directed at me and felt the same as you but as I get older and give less of a fuck, I ignore the comments. *I* know that it's not an addiction, it's something i love to do, same as I love to sit on the couch and watch netflix and if I can do that every night, why can't I work out 5 times a week? The "addiction" makes you feel better, look better, move better, sleep better... it's such a healthy positive thing and I think other people may project their feelings and try to make fun of you to make themselves feel better. Or maybe they're just assholes.

I would smile at them and go to the gym. Let them rant and rave about it but if it stops affecting you then they just sound like clowns.

 

[humbleservant911]

@kmar123 Having an unhealthy gym addiction would be when you don't allow yourself to relax/rest, or when you use fitness as punishment for food or inactivity ("oh God I ate that cookie!!! I shouldn't have, fuck I have to run an extra half hour or else I'll hate myself"). One of my friends was briefly dating a girl who literally skipped college classes to spend literally 4 hours a day in the gym. THAT'S an obsession.

Five days a week is reasonable, especially if it's only an hour or so at a time. I think they're conflating "obsession" or "addiction" with lifestyle. Having an active lifestyle means fitness is a big part of your day, your thoughts, your goals, etc. That doesn't make it an addiction, but it's something you've committed yourself to. It's like if you're activity participating in a religion--just because it is a big part of your life doesn't mean it's an obsession.

 

[3rddayraised]

@kmar123 I think they’re projecting their own issues. You don’t need to explain to them when and why you should go to the gym. It’s your own personal health and lifestyle. You shouldn’t be embarrassed at all.

 

[bigsy]

@3rddayraised I had friends that would give me shit for working out. They’re weren’t the kind to exercise. It definitely could be them projecting, just like how people give other people crap when they eat healthy.

 

[3rddayraised]

@bigsy Same! I still get shit for eating “healthy”. Sorry I don’t like eating fast food, it’s expensive.

 

[journalist]

@3rddayraised At my last job I got nonstop shit because I ate "healthy." It was usually just something not particularly healthy + vegetables, because... I like vegetables. They'd all get on me about trying to change my body for a man, and not loving myself the way I am. I wasn't dieting. I wasn't restricting myself at all. I just enjoy vegetables sometimes and can't afford fast food every day.

Of the ~20 people in my building, there were 4 that WEREN'T very overweight.

 

[kmar123]

@3rddayraised Something I’ve noticed is that they don’t see gym time as something fun (which I do) but something they HAVE to do sometimes. So I’m starting to think they believe I’m torturing myself or something. But I genuinely have a great time there.

 

[3rddayraised]

@kmar123 If you enjoy going then continue on. Some people don’t enjoy working out and sweating. You found a hobby and enjoy it. I use to get a lot of shit when I first started working out especially from family members. I brushed it off and now they ask me for tips or weights lol.

 

[billeberle]

@kmar123 Can you reframe it to them? Hoist up your gym bag and say jokingly, "I'm off to therapy!" as you walk out the door?

 

[kmar123]

@billeberle Haha I love this!! I think I will do this or something similar.

 

[maxi492]

@kmar123 Before jumping on they’re just insecure train, is it possible you’re ignoring your relationships to make room for gym time? Or even more passively that your friends might feel as if they’re being ignored? Because to me this doesn’t sound like a crazy amount of gym time but if you’re using all of your available free time for fitness and not fostering relationships with your friends then I could see why they might react in this way. I’m also thinking maybe saying you had nothing better to do on a Friday night might have come off as a bit of an attack to your roommates? Do they typically spend that time together that you miss out on because you’re at the gym? I don’t know you or your situation though!

 

[euggio]

@maxi492 Thank you for this!

Everytime something like this comes up (which it does all the time in some way or another...like a LOT) everyone is all "they're insecure". That could be true but its such a simplified reach. When I focused more on working out and stopped drinking as much it definitely impacted my relationships as my priorities shifted. My friends would joke about it but also I realized I'd really dropped off my social time with them since I didn't want to just drink all the time.

Also, some people truly just don't want to work out or enjoy it. It's a thing. There are other hobbies out there that people talk crap about and this insecurity diagnosis is armchair psychology that this sub seems to have whole heartedly embraced.

 

[kmar123]

@maxi492 One thing that has changed is that I don’t drink as much as before as being hungover interferes with my workouts and I hate how incapacitated it leaves me for an entire day. Some friends have stopped inviting me to parties where they like to get smashed (id love to go sober honestly but it is what it is). But I definitely still have a great social life, I’m a huge foodie and I invite friends to restaurants I discover all the time (which we’re doing this weekend). My appetite is insane so I take every opportunity I can to go out and eat with friends haha, so I don’t think that’s the problem. The alcohol thing could be though, bc I used to drink a LOT before, even was the “fun drunk friend” for some of them.