Relationships and CrossFit

[doge9000]

@sherryanne Is it worth it to sacrifice personal relationships and friendships to pursue a sport that doesn’t pay, that no one outside of a very small community really cares about, and that likely you won’t succeed at the highest levels in (I say that only because so so so few people make it to the games)?

To me, no, it’s definitely not. The real question is what will make you happiest long term? Getting to be a really good but probably not great crossfitter, or having a fulfilling personal life while still being a good but not obsessed crossfitter?

Here’s a crazy thought as well- long term you’ll progress faster with fewer hours in the gym. Long term it’s very unlikely you’ll be able to continue recovering from 4-6 hours in the gym. After 5 months, okay. After a few years, no, you probably will not continue to improve if you’re doing too much. I know that’s counterintuitive, but unless you’re on some secret sauce you’ll need to do less in the gym and more recovery.

 

[lostdad1]

@sherryanne Ex crossfitter checking in- CrossFit damaged my relationship far more than I could have ever imagined. I was in the gym 2 hours a day 5 days a week and regularly competing (for fun)… My husband had no interest in it so it was kind of just my thing, I thought.

The pandemic changed that. I was finally home all the time and obviously spending lots of time with husband. One day he finally opened up told me how the years I was doing CrossFit were the loneliest years of his life and he was so happy I had finally quit. He didn’t want me to stop doing something I clearly loved.. I was too blinded by my own selfishness to notice he was missing me and suffering.

Unless Crossfit is going to be a full time lucrative career which is unlikely, spend time with the people you love.

 

[raffles32]

@lostdad1 2 hours a week caused him to feel that lonely? Something doesn't check out there...

 

[lostdad1]

@raffles32 2 hours a day.

Between work, the gym and my commute I wouldn’t get home until 8pm most nights. I’d eat (alone), shower and go to bed. We spent no time together m-f.

 

[aaronemill12]

@sherryanne

In total I’m in the gym about 4-6 hours a day 5 days a week.

Is this on top of working at a job and/or being a student? It's hard to give advice without knowing what else is taking up your time.

 

[sherryanne]

@aaronemill12 Yes I also work a job that could be anywhere from a 6 hour day to a 14 hours day. Never consistent lol

 

[humilityfirst]

@sherryanne How did you do in the open and quarterfinals this year?

 

[one55]

@sherryanne How long have you been doing CF? Typically the leaps and bounds come regardless of 4 hours a day if you’re just starting. What are you doing in the gym for 6 hours at a time? Is it socializing or are you actively doing things that entire time?

 

[sherryanne]

@one55 I’ve been doing it about 5 months now but have been doing it on and off with my dad for 10 years. Just started wanting to get serious

 

[koinonialover]

@sherryanne Having a good relationship and being a top tier athlete are not mutually exclusive. However, this is dependent on your partner.

There is a girl at our box who is near games level and is in there more than you’re at yours. However, her husband routinely comes in and lifts for himself as well. They seem pretty happy but I imagine it’d be different if he didn’t show up occasionally.

 

[veritophilia]

@sherryanne So if you are sleeping 6-8 hours, working (I’m assuming/hoping) 8-10 hours a day and training 4-6 hours a day, that is 18-24 hours a day.

That certainly does leave much room for much else, nothing if you are on the high end for those.

If your girlfriend is telling you there are issues with the time away, you should decide what’s more important OR in my view, find a happy medium!

 

[rejected]

@sherryanne Time to start a gym relationship

 

[koyanna]

@sherryanne You can do it all.
It’s a matter of time management and being very intentional around being in the moment and giving your all in each of those moments.

Travis Mayer is my ultimate role model for that. Top 15 athlete in the world, gym owner, father of four, would still take the time to coach classes and do personal training to me and others.

I could never understand how he was so good about it.
Have your agreements in place with the people you love and be 100% into where you are in the moment.

You are training, nothing is on your way.
You are hanging out with your GF, nothing gets in your way.

Shouldn’t be easy, but can be done.

Mental preparation is probably the key for success.

 

[dawn16]

@sherryanne I train twice a day 3 days a week and train in total 5 days a week. I have personalized programming. I still make time to call my friends and family. If it is a priority to you, you will find a way to make it work.

 

[igneousintrovert]

@sherryanne Keep going all in but make an effort to maintain relationships. There's a lot to be gained from trying your absolute hardest at something even if you don't end up being a top10 professional multi-modality exerciser.
I hope no one you associate with tells you that you are selfish with your time for trying to make something of yourself - that's garbage and it's on you to keep them honest and not take shit like that .
Also I really hope you're getting coaching help, if not directly from a coach then guidance on how to program progressions etc. as that's the best way to extract the maximum from your limited ability to recover (your body can only ensure a limited amount of intensity in a day).

Good luck, hope you find the support you need around you, rather than by randos like me on the internet!

 

[jonahcandy]

@sherryanne I went on a date with a girl l met at our CrossFit gym last week. Future wife

 

[stream26]

@sherryanne Find a CF gf who's also a beast. She'll get it.

Edit: and by beast I mean someone who truly loves CF just as much as you do. They don't have to be an athlete but someone who's just as passionate

 

[sanchez55]

@sherryanne I date a fellow CrossFitter that I met in the gym. I have also dated people who are not into daily fitness or working out to the extent that I do. My gym friends that date/marry people that don’t do or understand CrossFit really don’t seem that happy.. and/or the gym causes disagreements…idk. I think it’s okay sometimes, but other times I think it doesn’t work because if one person prioritizes health/fitness/etc, and the other doesn’t then it’s a fundamental difference that is hard to accept long term especially if the partner doesn’t have a hobby outside of work that takes up the same amount of time. Gotta surround yourself with likeminded people to make it workout in my book. Just my two cents.

 

[laurie4321]

@sherryanne You spend 4-6 hours a day at the gym but in a previous post said you struggle with double unders lol.

 

[bluemind84]

@laurie4321 He’s only been doing this for 5 months apparently. It can be tricky for some people