Tips needed for getting my kid into exercise when I can’t exercise myself!

[alexandre123]

Bit of background: I’m 43 and used to be a yoga instructor, swimmer, runner. Got M.E. from Covid and now can’t exercise at all. I still meditate and occasionally stretch, but can’t do more physical exercise than a brisk 10 min walk on a good day. I am bedbound 50% of my life. It sucks but it is what it is and isn’t likely to change in the near future so I focus on other things.

My kids are 5, 11 and 13. The 5yo is super active, the 13yo gets strenuous exercise through school and dance class, but the 11yo is just…not interested. She likes gaming, D&D, and is generally geeky/introverted/indoorsy. The closest she gets to exercise is occasional swimming and some Pokémon Go. When I do her get doing something physical, she hates it and complains bitterly, gets out of breath almost immediately, and gives up. She is being assessed for (and seems likely to have) dyspraxia. Regular methods of encouragement just don’t seem to work - she def hasn’t found her fitness “gateway drug” yet (like yoga was for me).

Can anybody give tips on how I might persuade her to get active when I can’t join her myself? Activities that might be active but not come with the “exercise” label that puts her off? Ways to bribe/persuade? How to set a good example without crashing my health in the process? Any and all advice gratefully received. TY!

 

[_dave_]

@alexandre123 This sounds a lot like me when I was a kid and honestly, the answer for me was that I just had to grow up and considerably later in life realize the value of exercise for myself. I don't think it was until I got to university, and realized it was harder for me to walk across campus than it was for my friends, that things really started to click.

But her interest in video games might help you find an in for now - Pokemon Go is a great one, is there someone that could take her out on longer PokeGo walks? Has she tried any of the physical activity games like JustDance? There are lots of options out there!

 

[alexandre123]

@_dave_ Good idea to check out more active games - will defo do that! Thanks. And thanks for sharing your experience - mine was the same. Stumbled across yoga at 19ish and realised maybe I didn’t hate all exercise. Before that, I was never moved to do any.

 

[morh]

@alexandre123 One of the best things I can say is this - don’t call it exercise. Don’t tell her she needs to exercise. That makes it seem so much worse and like a punishment (thanks PE class!) but it seems like you know that already.

My best advice? Lean into the nerdy/geeky stuff. Did you know that there’s sword academies that teach you how to fight with swords? And I’m not talking about just fencing! There’s also archery classes! Does she like sci-fi? Take a look to see if there’s any laser tag places nearby. What type of characters/classes does she play in d&d? You can tie into that fun activities that result in being up and moving.

Ranger/outdoorsy/nature characters? Well dang, time to look at classes that are about tracking animals in your area and finding out about native flora via hikes! She can use that to better describe how her character grew up!

Rogue/sneaky characters? Gymnastics or obstacle courses could help her get an idea about how that actually works!

Even if you can’t join her in these things, if you show genuine interest in what she loves and show it through your actions, I believe it can help her be more involved with the world around her and help her enjoy life and movement more.

You’re a good mom. Thank you for being open to asking how to help your kids out.

 

[alexandre123]

@morh These are great suggestions, thank you so much. Gonna share with the rest of my fam so that they can all take turns doing some of these things with her. And yeah, trying to avoid the “exercise” word as much as possible seems like the way.