Working out with babies requires sacrifice from the entire family

@redeemedsinner We have two kids, I used to be in great shape and I (the dad) really struggled mentally after the birth of our first in Jan 2021. We had a home gym and I found workout out helped, I got into great shape between July 21 - Jan 22. Then he started daycare and we were literally sick for 3 months, everything under the sun, Noro virus, bad bout of hand foot and mouth, Covid … everything (also this being post Covid times it was all such a wave after so long everyone being careful) …. Combined with my wife going back to work in Jan 22, and routines were ruined.

I fell off the wagon hard, gained all the weight back over the last few years.

We had number 2 in May last year, first few months are the usual survival mode. But come Jan this year we both got our shit together. I work from home 4 days a week. So I now go to a commercial gym at lunch those 4 days and usually once at the weekend. Means I can stop work at 5 help with kids and dinner, put them to bed, and if there’s more work to do, I can work late. But I hated having to start training at like 8pm last time round. Working late is easy, working out late is not (for me)

So baby 2 is at daycare now, and he’s had a few bugs, but this routine is working well for me. Down 45lbs since Jan.

Up at 6 with baby. Get him fed and changed. Put him in a backpack and take dog for a 30min walk.

Work 9-12:30

Train at lunch 12:30-2

Huel shake for quick lunch after at my desk 2pm

Work 2pm-5:30pm

Finish work, family time, meal with kids, put one of them to bed.

Walk dog again

Then either sofa with wife, Xbox, or work until 10:30 then bed.

EDIT: my wife goes to the gym while baby naps as I can keep an eye on monitor while I work.

So we both get our time, and still do our best to be good parents. I miss the old 5pm 2 hour sessions after work before we had kids, but priorities have shifted now
 
@redeemedsinner I agree with you. But I think both spouses can usually find a way to hold 5 hours a week for each other to do self care. Yes your habits will most likely have to shift, but they don't have to be abandoned entirely.
 
@redeemedsinner Home workout gear. Dumbbells maybe a treadmill/ spin bike or something. Jogging stroller? It’s quite difficult. And it doesnt wnd when baby sleeps through the night. Pickup/dropoff at daycare or school events. I have an 8 and 15 year old now. 15 has a bunch of after school activities so 8 year old still cannot be alone when wife is on nights at hospital.
 
@redeemedsinner Yeah, you're just not getting the regular workout with a kid. We have to be prepared that that's going out the window.

Alternatively, be so rich that you can afford a home gym and do squats and deadlifts to failure on your breaks. Or alternatively, be so rich that you can afford a nanny to take care of the kid while you go and do squats and deadlifts to failure in the local gym. Or more alternatively, be one step more rich that you can afford a nanny and a home gym, and squat and deadlift your baby to failure...

Wait... that doesn't sound right...
 
@redeemedsinner I don't know exactly what you're doing in the gym but r/bodyweightfitness is an at-home, no-equipment alternative for a lot of movements:



Being a single guy with a 9-5, it was easy for me to make it to the gym early in AM before work because nobody else had to sacrifice to allow me to workout.
Click to expand...

I bought a device called an Isochain and used to work out at work, in the staircase of my office building, for 15-30 minutes on my lunch break. After about 4 weeks I posted triple-digit gains (percentage wise) for my compound leg movements and my percentage gains for upper body were pretty good too. I was initially very skeptical of this thing but a one-year money-back guarantee from fitness company that's been around a long time (Dragon Door) convinced me I at least had nothing to lose trying it.

Just putting these out here as additional options for your situation which is pretty difficult. I'm a big fan of workarounds and finding alternative/clever ways to get the job done despite what seem like impossible odds.
 
@redeemedsinner It gets easier. Mine are 4 and 2.5 now and I’m finally feeling like I’m 100% back to it. I think those years of just chipping away at whatever was possible each week really paid off; I wasn’t starting from scratch again by the time I was able to get consistent.

I will say though that I have time for very little else. Kids, work and fitness are the top 3 and I’m not able to focus on anything more. It’s ok, I know there’ll be time in the future to pick back up other hobbies, but it really puts it into perspective to me why so many people fall off after kids. If there’s anything else competing for one of those top spots then it’s not going to get done.
 
@redeemedsinner As a mom who’s still nursing, I get it. What I’ve done is switch to afternoon classes, and alternate exercise days with my husband. I block off the time on my calendar (and recognize this is a privilege having a flexible office job) and it works for us.

I miss my morning routine, but am grateful exercising is still something I can do 3-4x a week. Get it in when you can, and have grace for yourself when you can’t. This is just another season of life!
 
@redeemedsinner I’ve got 5 kids and I feel the struggle. Luckily my gym is open 24 hours and I’m able to go either super early in the morning before work, or super late after everyone is asleep.
 
@redeemedsinner Yes it’s tough as a parent for sure and you do have to compromise the first year or so (until they sleep through the night really). And there will always be interruptions (sickness, busy work schedule etc etc). I found a gym that had a daycare before my child started school and I also bought equipment to work out at home. You find a way but it’s a struggle in the beginning.
 
@redeemedsinner Thanks for writing this. Yes, I get that everything is priorities, but having gotten a baby (or more) is just a couple of years implicit prioritization away from training. So “just make time” isn’t really applicable then.
 
@redeemedsinner My youngest will soon be 5. I remember your situation so well. The only advice I can give you is get it in when you can. There were nights I only got 4-5 hours of sleep if I wanted to get a workout or run in.

As some others have said, having a home gym was HUGE! No commute, could help with the baby and get back to it, etc. Often times, I would get up before my wife and take the baby monitor down to the gym with me. That way she could sleep and if the baby cried, I could respond. I was up anyway. We also got a jogging stroller so I could take her on runs in the morning on weekends after she woke up.

The other thing I was you to know is this: this is temporary man. It will get better! If your little one is 6 months old you are already through the hardest part. Once they get a little older 9-12 months, they sleep way better and by 2 you can get them an alarm clock that has a green light come on so they know they can get out of bed. Just hang in there dad. The light is already showing through the end of the tunnel!
 
@redeemedsinner I’m going to guess your wife doesn’t value exercise much? Or maybe you have way higher stress jobs than my wife and I but we were absolutely able to keep it a priority with baby number 1. She still consistently went to the gym at 5 am and I took care of the baby in the morning. I still consistently went a little before 5 pm and she took care of the baby in the evenings. But we also had a “teamwork” mindset vs. a “mutual suffering” mindset that a lot of couples have. If you’re in the latter situation I’m not surprised you’re struggling, it’s insanely rare to keep at it if the mom wants you around to suffer with her instead of engaging in self care, especially if she doesn’t do it herself. Most new parents I know let it slip, even very engaged CrossFiters (not surprisingly the ones who keep at it have a spouse that also does CrossFit, imagine that).

Now second baby did actually shake things up for us. Wife gave up working out for about a year, I switched exclusively to home gym, I actually work out more now because of that since I can do it whenever instead of investing pockets of time. The “just do it” mindset is true though, either do it or don’t, most don’t and now you know why.
 
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