4 years of hard work

[silsophi]

4 years in of hard work

....and I still look like an average untrained male with clothes on.

During bulks, I look/feel chubby/flabby

During cuts, I look/feel skinny/weak

It's such a slow and painful process. 4 years in, I have made substantial growth and improvement in my lifts, but 70%+ of it was in the first 15 months. I have refined my diet pretty well - of course it's not perfect and I'm not a professional, but for the most part I get in the amount of macros I want, keeping fat fairly low and high on carbs and protein. My lifts are still improving, but all my maxes go to shit once I start focusing on being a lower bodyfat. If I can do a 120kg bench press peak bulk, I'd be lucky to be able to do 100kg during the cut.

I do plenty of cardio (more so in the summers/cutting phases), and I lift 4-6 days a week depending on the split. I take a week-long break when I feel my body really needs it, which is usually once every two months. I get plenty of sleep, I stay hydrated, I take supplements, I do not drink alcohol ever.

It really makes me wonder - is all of it worth it just to stay natty? Is a cycle of gear going to do that much damage? Actual kids with no knowledge or experience are able to look infinitely better than me, while doing everything wrong, just from one stupid fuckin cycle.

How do you cope with this? How do you keep going? Personally, I have always been against the use of steroids because I felt that it was cheating and that it did too much health damage. But with my IG filled with non-natties, slowly my mind is changing and I don't know how to feel about it.

 

[cmclinton]

@silsophi Pictures? Isn’t this community prone to body dysmorphia?

 

[silsophi]

@cmclinton During my bulk? It's hard to look good during a bulk, but here it is with a very high bf%

https://imgur.com/a/lZnPIu9

 

[bella96]

@silsophi where do you live if you think this looks like "average untrained male"?

 

[bocook45]

@bella96 It's gotta be Los Angeles....

 

[lasturianu]

@silsophi I read your post and was going to say: "fuck it, do what makes you happy, do a cycle and see how you feel." But now that I've seen that photo I'm confident that your problem is not your physique, it's your self perception. You do NOT look average. You look like a strong dude who lifts.

 

[dawn16]

@silsophi Bro i think you have body dysmorphia, sincerely

 

[klummzie]

@silsophi You look great in that bro

 

[withlovefromalyssa]

@silsophi Nah you look jacked (I think we all have body dysmorphia)

 

[kevinfd1985]

@withlovefromalyssa It's so true, I've been doing this for 18 years. I look back at old pictures and can't see that as myself. I constantly think I look fat, when almost at least once per week someone will tell me I look good or I look skinny.
I say thanks, but skinny was never the goal

 

[joyjoy66]

@kevinfd1985 Guess skinny is the term opposite to overweight used by the general population

 

[kevinfd1985]

@joyjoy66 Yeah, but you know how it feels being called skinny when you lift

 

[sarah04]

@withlovefromalyssa Are you and I looking at the same picture?

 

[silsophi]

@withlovefromalyssa How??? I literally just see flab and chub on myself man, even looking at that picture

 

[intotheforge]

@silsophi body dysmorphia

 

[withlovefromalyssa]

@silsophi Body dysmorphia. But now actually having read your post: I would have hopped on gear if I wasn't a paramedic most likely, but when I see people with chronic illnesses who have destroyed their bodies from things like obesity and smoking and getting conditions like heart failure and kidney failure, it just isn't worth ut in my opinion. Kidney failure is the biggest one for me. Steroids could totally destroy them and being on dialysis at a younger age looks horrifying. So this is why I don't do tren.

 

[jord1999]

@silsophi You’re not wrong. Don’t let these couch dwellers fool you. 4 years should most likely have a better physique. I’d need more details ofc to be sure.

I’m natty, it’s worth it once you figure it out homie. Get a coach if you feel stuck. No reason to hop on until you’ve got in on lock.

 

[taslott]

@jord1999

4 years should most likely have a better physique.

Maybe. But he said he looks like an untrained male, which is absolutely not the case.

He looks bigger than most people.

 

[jord1999]

@taslott I agree he looks bigger than most, but he doesn’t look good. I’m just going off of what he says his goals are.

OP:

You should be doing some sort of cardiovascular activity everyday. During bulk and cut. Forever.

4 days of lifting a week is great, 6 is better. Do you want to be you, or better?

Eat healthy 95% of the time, not 75%

Just some tips.

 

[taslott]

@jord1999

I agree he looks bigger than most, but he doesn’t look good. I’m just going off of what he says his goals are.

But the original phrasing of your comment sounds like his insecurities are completely representative of reality.

He can look better, but saying it bluntly while he's already really insecure about his body has the potential to make his mental state worse.

Your advice is good, but not necessarily what he needs to hear right now.